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Put your sibling in their place with these sassy comebacks
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Looking for ways to roast your sister in a fun and lighthearted manner? We’ve got you covered! In this article, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of insults, comebacks, and one-liners that you can use to tease your sister, whether she's younger or older than you. We’ll also go over some general guidelines when it comes to roasting so you can maintain a respectful and entertaining exchange.

2

“I was here before you.”

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  1. Remind your younger sibling that you’re older, smarter, and wiser—but don’t be too controlling to avoid crossing her boundaries (remember, you’re not her mom). By focusing on the fact that you were born first, you highlight your age difference in a fun and playful manner. [2]
    • “Again, who was born first?”
    • “Because of you, I never want kids👀👶🙅‍♀️😂”
    • “I’m the reason you were born, and you’re the reason mom and dad decided to stop having kids.”
3

“Your opinion is almost as bad as your outfit.”

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4

“If I give you a penny, will you leave?”

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  1. If your sister is being annoying, be direct and hint that you need some space. Just be sure to deliver your line with a smile, laugh, or friendly expression to make it obvious you’re teasing her. Or, follow up with a “still love you though” to avoid hurting her feelings. [4]
    • “You bring me so much joy…when you leave the room.”
    • "You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.”
    • “I get so emotional when you’re not around. It’s called happiness.”
7

“It took Mom and Dad 3 tries before they had the perfect kid.”

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9

“You’re the type of person to trip over a banana peel.”

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  1. Browse social media to get inspiration for this one-liner, or take a few minutes to think of one on your own. Focus on harmless quirks or silly habits that your sister has to really hit home and deliver a savage roast. [6]
    • “You’re the type of person to respond to spam emails.”
    • “You’re the type of person to measure your sleep with a ruler.”
    • “You’re the type of person to wash their hands after a shower.”
    • “You’re the type of person to look up and down before crossing the road.”
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10

“Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

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  1. If she’s having a hard time minding her own business (or she’s dropping unsolicited advice), cut to the chase with a clever comeback. All of these lines are savage, silly, and playful, but throw in a few emojis if you’re sending them over text to show that you’re just teasing.
    • “Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business👃”
    • “Maybe you should get a life instead of being all up in mine😈”
    • “Did I invite you to my BBQ? Then why are you all up in my grill?”
13

“It’d be awesome if you used glue instead of Chapstick.”

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15

“Don’t worry about me…Worry about your grades.”

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22

“I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!”

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  1. If you’re playfully arguing with your sister, throw out any of these hilarious one-liners to add extra drama and entertainment. Highlighting your sister’s behavior in a silly way can make for some memorable moments together. [12]
    • “Are you a lobster? Then why are you being so shellfish?”
    • "There’s a new app called ‘being a decent person.’ Maybe you should download it.”
    • “Funny, I just got back from the center of the universe, and I didn’t see you anywhere.”

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      Tips

      • Focus on small quirks and habits that your sister chooses to do, instead of things she can’t change about herself. As a general rule, avoid talking about her weight, relationship status, embarrassing moments, or major insecurities. [13]
      • If you have more than one sister, be sure to spread your jokes around to maintain a good relationship. If you only tease one sister, it could unintentionally hurt her feelings and make her feel singled out. [14]
      • Try to deliver your lines in a friendly and lighthearted way. A smile, giggle, or squeeze on the shoulder can reassure your sister that you’re just teasing her, or you can throw out a “just kidding” if you think you might have offended her.
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