Friend or Acquaintance? How to Tell if Someone Is Really Your Friend

Download Article Take Quiz
Download Article

As you get to know someone new, the line between acquaintance and friend can start to get blurry. Knowing where you stand with someone can help you figure out the right way to talk to them and how often to reach out. That’s why we’ve written this article to help you figure out the age-old question: is this person my friend, or just an acquaintance?

Question 1 of 4:

What’s the difference between a friend and an acquaintance?

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8a\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8a\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-1.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You might consider your co-workers or a friend of a friend your acquaintance. You see them around often, but you don’t make a ton of effort to hang out with them or get to know them.
    • That might sound like a bad thing, but actually, having acquaintances is important! Studies show that people feel happier when they interact with people they only know casually. [1] It makes you feel good to be noticed by someone you might not consider a friend just yet.
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/67\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/67\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When you’re friends with someone, you know more about them than just the surface level—you’ve opened up to each other at least a little bit, and you’d like to learn more about them over time. [2]
    • You probably also make more of an effort to spend time with a friend rather than an acquaintance, although this isn’t always a marker of your relationship. If you’re both super busy, you can still maintain a friendship with someone without seeing them very often.
    3. Advertisement
Question 2 of 4:

Signs That Someone Is Just an Acquaintance

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f2\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    With an acquaintance, you probably don’t make an effort to hang out with them. You might only see them when it’s convenient, like when you’re at work or together at school. You probably say hi to each other and exchange pleasantries, but you might not ask them to hang out with you outside of that. [3]
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b2\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You probably know the basic facts: where they work, where they live, and who their partner is. However, since they’re an acquaintance, you probably won’t know much else, like what their long-term goals are or what they like doing to relax. [4]
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/72\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-5.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Acquaintances usually don’t talk to each other about deeper subjects. Talking about your feelings and emotions probably hasn’t happened yet, and you might feel a little awkward if you brought anything like that up. [5]
    4. Advertisement
Question 3 of 4:

How to Tell if Someone Is a Friend

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ab\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-6.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-6.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ab\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-6.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-6.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Studies show that in students and young people, close friends spend almost 1/3 of their waking hours with each other. If you two are friends, you probably both make an effort to see each other often, even if you’re both busy. [6]
    • Ask yourself things like, “How many times per week do I see this person?” and, “Do we make an effort to hang out?”
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d6\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-7.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You might talk about your feelings, your emotions, and your long-term goals. This probably doesn’t feel too awkward, since you’re both exchanging info with each other. Friends get to know each other on a deeper level than acquaintances do, so you’ll probably talk more about these things over time. You might ask your friend things like, “How are you feeling today?” or, “How are you really doing?” [7]
    • Ask yourself things like, “How much do I trust this person?” and, “How comfortable do I feel around them?”
    • There are also different levels of friendships. If you’re starting to open up to each other, you might be moving from casual friends to close friends.
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/d1\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/d1\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-8.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You might feel more comfortable making silly comments or testing out your new one-liner with a friend. Since you two know each other more, you have a sense of what they find funny, which means they’re more like a friend to you. [8]
    • Ask yourself something like, “Can I be my true self around this person?”
  4. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/b9\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/b9\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’re close friends, you might even say that you love each other. As your friendship grows, you get closer to them, which makes you care for them even more. [9] You might notice that you listen to them without judgement and support them through bad times when they need you. [10]
    • You might ask yourself something like, “How much does this person care about me?”
    • When you start caring deeply for each other, you might be moving from close friends to intimate friends.
    5. Advertisement
Question 4 of 4:

Signs That Someone Wants to Be Your Friend

Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/41\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/41\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If someone wants to move from being just an acquaintance to something more, they’ll probably ask you to hang out, and they might even do it often. This might be a co-worker inviting you out to happy hour, a friend of a friend texting just you, or your classmate asking for your number so you can hang out after school. [11]
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/64\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/64\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-11.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    And when they ask you, they seem to genuinely care about what you say. Friends care about each other’s well-being, so if someone listens to you vent about a bad day or gush about your new boo, it probably means they like you as a friend. [12]
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/3\/30\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/3\/30\/Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-12.jpg\/v4-728px-Tell-if-Someone-Is-a-Friend-or-Acquaintance-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you ask them to hang out one day, they’ll ask you the next time. If you grab them a coffee on the way to work, they’ll buy you lunch that day. Someone who really wants to be your friend will put in the work to show they care about you instead of just taking and never giving back. [13]
    • You can usually tell that someone doesn’t want to be your friend if they blow you off or accept things you give them without gratitude. This could mean that they’re just putting up with you, and that they don’t actually want to deepen your connection.
    4. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Comprehension Quiz

      What is the difference between an acquaintance and a friend?
      1 of 3

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Kiss
      100+ Loving, Funny & Appreciative Birthday Wishes for Your Girlfriend
      Celebrate Your One Month Anniversary with These Sweet Messages
      How to
      Impress a Girl with Words
      12 Ways to Break a Narcissist's Heart
      100+ Good Morning Texts for Her (& Other Ways to Make Her Smile)
      What Are the Bases in a Relationship? Defining the Baseball-Sex Metaphor
      How to
      Make a Girl Feel Special Through Text
      Flirty or Just Nice? 15+ Ways to Tell if a Guy Is Interested in You or Just Being Friendly
      How to Tell if Your Girlfriend Is Horny: 12 Signs She's Turned On
      How to Turn on a Guy
      What to Do When a Guy Suddenly Distances Himself from You
      17 Sweet Texts to Make Your Boyfriend Feel Special and Loved
      Signs He Wants You to Be His Girlfriend Soon
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/04/why-you-miss-those-casual-friends-so-much
      2. ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2018/03/06/study-reveals-number-hours-it-takes-make-friend
      3. ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200701-why-your-weak-tie-friendships-may-mean-more-than-you-think
      4. ↑ http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53e031b0e4b09fb957e34b32/t/5519dcebe4b0972a561626c8/1427758315232/How+to+make+the+friends+you+always+wanted+.pdf
      5. ↑ http://static1.squarespace.com/static/53e031b0e4b09fb957e34b32/t/5519dcebe4b0972a561626c8/1427758315232/How+to+make+the+friends+you+always+wanted+.pdf
      6. ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2018/03/06/study-reveals-number-hours-it-takes-make-friend
      7. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
      8. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1992-23045-001
      9. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/turning-acquaintances-into-friends#3
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201503/the-13-essential-traits-good-friends
      2. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
      3. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-requirements-for-a-strong-friendship/
      4. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/one-sided-relationships/

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 34,276 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement