Understanding an Aquarius Man's Needs & Desires In a Female Partner

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Plus, habits to avoid when you’re trying to attract an Aquarius

Co-authored by Stina Garbis and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: April 1, 2024 Fact Checked

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10 Things Aquarius Needs in a Woman

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Traits that Turn Aquarius Off

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Aquarius Compatibility

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Enhancing Your Connection

The water bearer of the zodiac, a man born with the sun in Aquarius can be pretty picky about the person he chooses to date or even spend the rest of his life with. This eccentric genius can be tough to pin down and he's certainly not willing to settle for just anybody! We talked to astrologers Angel Eyedealism and Stina Garbis to find out what makes these guys tick and what they're really looking for in a lady. You'll also find out what turns them off and what other sun signs they're most compatible with.

What an Aquarius Man Wants in a Partner

Aquarius guys need a woman who's independent and quirky, marching to the beat of her own drummer. He likes to be friends first and looks for a lady who can keep up with him intellectually and conversationally. If you're confident and spontaneous, you'll really catch his eye.

Section 1 of 4:

10 Things Aquarius Needs in a Woman

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Independence Water bearers tend to be free spirits who don't respond well to rigidity and limits—and they expect the same from their partner. They look for someone who's as independent-minded as they are, someone who's forging their own path and believes in doing things on their own.
- This doesn't mean that you never need any help with anything! Aquarians just prefer a lady who's capable of taking care of herself and isn't looking for anyone else to do it for her.
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Intelligence An Aquarius man is often known for his intelligence. When he gets going on a thought or an idea, he's unlikely to stop or slow down for anyone. He needs a partner who can keep up with his quick and innovative mind as well as contribute to the process.
- As an air sign, Aquarian guys definitely have the gift for gab so they also need their partners to have great communication skills.
- Astrologer Angel Eyedealism agrees that to attract an Aquarius, "you must engage mentally first."
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Quirkiness and individuality It could be said that water bearers march to the beat of their own drummers—and they seek out others who have a similar drive to be their own person. He's naturally attracted to people who stand out in a crowd and don't necessarily follow all of the rules. ^{[1]
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- Is this you? Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis recommends that you "wear something unique, be different and edgy to catch their attention." She adds that you could "wear a hint of something wild with your outfit, like a bright scarf or brooch."
- Garbis also notes that "Aquarians are a little odd at times to many people, so they need a partner that gets them enough to allow them to be who they are." If you're a little weird too, he'll probably feel a lot more comfortable around you.
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Optimism and positivity Aquarius guys have kind of a reputation for being crusaders who are out to change the world for the better and they need the type of woman who will be right by their side. That's why water bearers tend to go for ladies who have hope for the future and ideas about how to improve things for people—especially those who are less fortunate.
- Show him that you tend to look on the sunny side by not getting too bent out of shape when things aren't going well. Recognize that any setback is only temporary and that if you just keep going, things will start to look up soon enough.
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Confidence Aquarians are not unique in the zodiac for being attracted to confidence! But at the same time, this is a special need for a water bearer because he wants a partner who is able to go their own way and take care of themselves.
- A great way to show him that you're confident is to ask him out first. He'll be flattered, and you'll also let him know that you're interested in him in a romantic way. He tends to focus on being friends first and might miss the romance cues.
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Spontaneity An Aquarius guy is often thrilled to do things that come up at the last minute or go somewhere randomly just because he decided to. He also likes to leave himself open to whatever opportunity might come his way. When it comes to his partner, he needs someone who's also willing to do something off-the-cuff or go in a different direction than planned if circumstances call for it.
- For example, if the two of you are talking about your favorite restaurants and you mention one about 2 hours away in a nearby town, you might suggest that the two of you drive there for dinner.
- Be honest about any limitations you might have so he knows what's off the table. For example, if you had to go to work early in the morning tomorrow, you probably wouldn't be down for a spontaneous overnight trip tonight.
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Curiosity Aquarius guys are known for their intellectual curiosity and their love of learning. He's always researching something and wants to share all of the things that he's found out, so he needs a woman who is just as curious about the world as he is. Even better if you have your own special interests and enjoy reading and researching as well.
- Show him your curiosity by asking lots of questions when he starts talking about something. He'll see that you're really interested in the topic and want to learn more.
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Adventurousness There's not much that an Aquarius guy is afraid of—he's usually down to go anywhere or try anything at least once. He needs a lady who's willing to stick her neck out and take risks in the name of seeing and experiencing new things.
- Water bearers are also attracted to ladies who love traveling. Tell him about the last trip you took if you really want to capture his interest.
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Sociability Aquarius guys tend to have a pretty large circle of friends and consider themselves close to all of these people. Chances are, all of them will be there if he ever has a problem. He needs his lady to be someone who gets along with all of them and can hang with him when he's out and about (which is often most nights of the week).
- This doesn't mean that an Aquarius guy wouldn't be interested in someone who's shy or introverted. It's okay if you don't go out with him all of the time as long as you enjoy yourself when you do!
- Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis notes that one of the best ways to get an Aquarius to like you if you're interested in them is to "get into their friend circle" or "adopt hobbies and interests that they enjoy."
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Athleticism That water bearer you've got your eye on might not be an Olympic athlete, but Aquarians tend to be agile and pretty physically fit. Because he likes staying active, he needs a lady who has no problem keeping up with him. It's great if you're interested in the same sports or activities, but it's not necessarily a dealbreaker if you're not—he also likes it when his lady has her own interests that are separate from his.
- The sign Aquarius has influence over the legs and calves, so many Aquarian guys really get going at the sight of a toned set of nice long legs. If you're a runner, you'll be sure to have a water bearer nipping at your heels. ^{[2]
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Section 2 of 4:

Traits that Turn Aquarius Off

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Clinginess An Aquarius isn't the type of guy who likes to be fenced in or held back, so it stands to reason that he's not interested in a woman who feels as though she has to be right beside him every second of the day. Even though you might find it hard to trust him, you have to be willing to give your favorite water bearer a little space or he's likely to run for the hills.
- Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis emphasizes that you must "maintain a life of your own to prove that you are a high quality, self-sufficient and confident person and that you don't need your Aquarius to always pick up the pieces or dictate how you live your life."
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Predictability Water bearers have a spontaneous, carefree nature that doesn't much like rigid routines. Instead, they prefer ladies who are willing to shake things up and not afraid to do things a little different or exciting.
- It's okay if you have routines built around work or school, but when it comes to your free time, show him that you like to try new things and don't want to go to the same spots all the time.
- This could be as simple as trying a new café or ordering something different off the menu at your favorite restaurant instead of "the usual."
Aquarius guys tend to be full of hope, as well as love and compassion for humanity. They're not going to last long with a woman who's overly critical of others or who can't seem to be satisfied. Water bearers particularly try to avoid violence, so women who are aggressive or confrontational aren't likely to turn an Aquarian's head.
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Conventionality Aquarians are known for their imagination and innovative spirit—they're always questioning why people do things the way they do. This spirit is a big part of why an Aquarius guy likely won't go very far with a woman who does things simply because that's the way they've always been done. He wants a partner who challenges conventions just as much as he does.
- Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis emphasizes that water bearers "like things to be cutting edge, so [you should] do things a trendsetter would do. Show your creative, innovative side to them and inspire them."

Section 3 of 4:

Aquarius Compatibility

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Fellow air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) Aquarian guys see kindred spirits in other air signs, who value knowledge and intellect as much as they do. They may end up having more of a platonic bond than a romantic one since air signs tend to think a lot and can have a tough time with emotions. But romance is definitely not out of the cards and they can have a pretty profound sexual connection. ^{[3]
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- Aquarius gets along great with their fellow Aquarians, in particular. They appreciate each other and have no problem giving each other the space they need because they know it's nothing personal.
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Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) An Aquarius guy is known for his circle of friends, and chances are, at least one of them will be a fire sign. Aquarians vibe well with these active, outgoing signs—a water bearer always appreciates boldness and initiative.
- Sagittarius is the standout for Aquarius among the fire signs. Both are independent adventurers who approach life with passion and zeal. These two have power couple potential.
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Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn} It's hard for these signs to get on the same page with Aquarius, which can make this a difficult pairing. At the same time, if they find a way for their differences to complement each other, they can form an unshakable bond. Earth sign partners give Aquarians the foundation they need to reach for the stars.
- Taurus might be the best Earth sign combo for Aquarius because Taurus appreciates just how honest and real a water bearer is. They can be great partners in some truly revolutionary ventures.
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Water signs (Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces) Aquarian guys are attracted to sensitive, creative water signs, but ultimately they might prove too emotional for water bearers to deal with. If Aquarius can learn to be a little more sensitive, though, they can form a strong romantic bond.
- Scorpio comes out best here with their natural tendency towards secrecy. Aquarius appreciates the mystery and the challenge of getting inside a scorpion's heart. Scorpio also understands an Aquarian's need for space because of their similar need for privacy.

Section 4 of 4:

Enhancing Your Connection

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1
Give him space. Your favorite Aquarius guy will love you all the more if you let him have the space he needs to do his thing. This requires a lot of trust, but he'll feel closer to you if he doesn't feel like you're trying to control or limit him. ^{[4]
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- Psychic astrologer Stina Garbis notes that "it is necessary to give him his space to think and allow him to have his process for dealing with life. It would be good to have your own passions, hobbies, and pursuits to keep you from being so focused on the relationship."
- Astrologer Angel Eyedealism agrees that "Aquarius is also a sign that needs space," adding that "you need to give them time and space for intellectual detachment."
- At the same time, psychic astrologer Stina Garbis emphasizes that you can tell an Aquarius guy really likes you if "he spends extra time with you. He texts you and asks you questions and tells you what is on his mind."
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Trigger a friendly debate. As an air sign, intellect and communication are super-important to any Aquarius guy—and nothing gets his motor running quite like a little verbal sparring. So go ahead and spin out your most outlandish, off-the-wall theory and see what he has to say. Just be ready for the sparks that will surely fly.
- For example, you might ask him if a hotdog is a sandwich. Pick whichever side of the debate he's not on and break out your best arguments.
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Show your humanitarian passion at a protest or march. While each guy is going to have his own interests and beliefs, one thing you can be sure about is that your Aquarius guy is going to be passionate about something . He doesn't need you to share his specific passions (although it's great if you do) but he'll feel more connected to you if he knows there's something that you get worked up about.
- Talking about issues you're passionate about also helps him to see that you care about humanity as much as he does.
- You might also invite him to films or discussion groups dedicated to an interest that you're passionate about. This gives him the opportunity to learn more about the issue (and about you).
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Avoid making plans too far in advance. The water bearer is a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of guy in a lot of ways and he doesn't like his calendar to get filled up with engagements—what if something better comes along? If you try to make plans with him more than a week out, he's likely to decline (or forget about it and end up doing something else).
- To strengthen your connection with him, ask him how far in advance he usually plans or how much notice he needs for a certain type of date or activity.
- For example, he may need to give his employer 2 weeks' notice if he needs time off, so if you're planning a romantic getaway, you'd want to tell him at least 2 weeks before—but probably not any earlier than that.
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Keep a little mystery about you. Aquarius guys are known for being a little emotionally distant because they tend to favor reason and intellect. He'll be way more interested in getting to know you if you make it a bit of a challenge. Wait for him to ask questions before you tell him things, rather than volunteering information.
- Astrologer Angel Eyedealism cautions getting "too personal too fast," something she notes Aquarians hate.

Join the Discussion...

What are the worst and best traits of Aquarius men?

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WikiNarwhalDancer168

Hi all, I'm a 26F and I have a big crush on this guy, so naturally I tried to find out his sign as quickly as possible, lol. He's an Aquarius! I... Read More

Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist

Aquarius is a sign that needs space for intellectual detachment. And don't get too personal too fast. Aquarians hate that, because they're about... Read More

WikiDesertJumper764

I used to get really frustrated with how logical my Aquarius boyfriend is. When we would argue at the beginning of our relationship, I didn't fee... Read More

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