How to Be Romantic to Your Wife

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: May 16, 2024 References

While marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment in a relationship, it can be difficult to keep the romance going on a daily basis. Thankfully, there are many ways to show your wife that you love her, both big and small. For a more direct approach, try arranging different activities that your wife will enjoy, like a movie night or a home-cooked meal. If you’d prefer to be more subtle, add a touch of romance to your wife’s day by setting a romantic mood with candles or music. If you want to commit to a more romantic relationship with your spouse, try showing more affection on a day-to-day basis.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Arranging Romantic Activities

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1
Schedule a movie night to see one of her favorite films. Grab the disc to your wife’s favorite film, or rent the movie if you don’t have it on hand. Choose a night during the week when you both have a free evening, and surprise her with an at-home night at the cinema. As you prepare for the movie night, get some of her favorite snacks and drinks together. ^{[1]
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- If your wife doesn’t like surprises, mention the movie night idea to her earlier in the week. If she’s in the loop, it might be easier to plan a time to watch a film together.
2
Surprise her with a delicious meal. Pick a night when your wife is especially busy and plan to make one of her favorite meals. Get all of the necessary ingredients ahead of time, and try to time your cooking so the food is ready by the time she gets home. If you aren’t confident in your cooking skills, don’t worry about picking a complicated meal—after all, it’s the thought that counts! ^{[2]
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- If you’d rather not cook, consider ordering take-out from one of your wife’s favorite restaurants.
- Try and choose a meal that doesn’t require a lot of extensive prep time.
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3
Plan a special trip over the weekend. Book a mini-vacation at the beach, in the city, or wherever your wife likes to spend time. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} Don’t schedule a bunch of activities for the weekend; instead, let this time be as relaxing as possible for your wife. Before you book anything, make sure that her schedule for the weekend is clear! ^{[4]
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- If you and your wife both have busy schedules, try arranging a day trip instead of a weekend getaway.
- Choose a trip that your wife would enjoy, and don’t focus solely on your own interests.
4
Ask her to join you on a formal date. Invite your wife to dinner to rekindle the excitement of dating. Let her know that you want to spend time with her by scheduling a romantic dinner for just the two of you. ^{[5]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} If you really want to up the stakes, try getting a reservation at a really fancy, romantic restaurant! ^{[6]
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- Pick a restaurant that you know your wife will like. For instance, if your wife doesn’t like shellfish, she might be disappointed with a reservation at a seafood restaurant.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Setting a Romantic Mood

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1
Light candles around the room to create a sensual atmosphere. Arrange a variety of candles, ranging from candlesticks to tea lights. Use a lighter or match to light each one before your wife enters the room. To maximize the romantic mood, try setting the candles up in a cozy, more intimate setting, like your bedroom or bathroom. ^{[7]
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- Invest in scented candles if you want to have a sensual smell wafting through the room.
- Some candles double as a massage oil when melted.
2
Play mood music in the background when you’re together. Use a phone, speaker, or sound system to play romantic music in a place where you both spend a lot of time together. If you can’t decide on a song to play, opt for a tried-and-true love ballad to use as your background music. ^{[8]
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- Depending on your plans for the evening, you might want to gear your music in a more seductive direction.
- For example, songs like “Love Me Tender,” “I Will Always Love You,” “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing,” and “Careless Whisper” are great music choices for a romantic dinner at home.
3
Draw her a bubble bath to pamper her. Use some essential oils and Epsom salts to create a cozy, relaxing place for her to unwind. If your wife prefers certain scents or flavors, like chocolate , try preparing a bath that includes them. As you fill the tub, aim for the water to be between 100 to 102 °F (38 to 39 °C). ^{[9]
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- To make the mood extra romantic, set up some small candles around the bathtub.
4
Bring her a hot beverage while she’s still in bed. On the weekends or during a morning where she doesn’t have to get out of bed right away, brew a cup of your wife’s favorite beverage, like tea or coffee. If you don’t know your wife’s cream and sugar preferences, bring a few sugar packets and a small cup of milk or cream to your wife as well. ^{[10]
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- Pour the drink into a portable cup so it’s easier to transport.
- Try making your wife a fruit smoothie instead of a hot drink!
5
Buy her roses to show her that she’s in your thoughts. Pick up some flowers from your local florist or grocery store and give them to your wife as a surprise gift. If you’d prefer to be less cliche, order a bouquet of your wife’s favorite flowers, instead. For an extra hint of surprise, try sending the flower order to your wife’s work! ^{[11]
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- If you want to be especially romantic, arrange the flowers or flower petals on her bed to create a romantic scene.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Showering Her with Affection

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1
Kiss her more often. Express your love to your wife by giving her a spur-of-the-moment kiss. If she’s not expecting the gesture, you might end up giving her a pleasant surprise. When you’re spending alone time with your wife, follow your gut—sometimes, the perfect opportunity to kiss might come when you least expect it! ^{[12]
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- If you want to make your wife feel really special, try kissing her in public. However, make sure that she’d enjoy this gesture, and wouldn’t be embarrassed by the extra attention.
2
Tell your wife that you love her in a note. Write out a short message to your wife that will make her smile. If you’re leaving the note in the morning, wish her luck for a great day and remind her to text or call you if she needs anything. Leave the note in a place she’ll be sure to find it, like near the bathroom mirror. ^{[13]
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- If you don’t have time to leave a note, send her a text to let her know that she’s in your thoughts!
- For example, try writing something like: Good morning, honey! I love you so much, and I just wanted to wish you a great day at work today. Call or text me if you need anything.
3
Include more physical intimacy in your day-to-day life. Create a romantic ritual with your wife by finding ways to insert kisses and declarations of love into your daily life. Center your hugs, kisses, and sweet nothings around ordinary events, instead of waiting for anniversaries and other special occasions. ^{[14]
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- For instance, consider kissing your wife every time she gets home from work.
4
Give her a back massage if she’s had a tough day. Pay attention to your wife’s mood at the end of the day. If she had a rough day at work or seems to be in a bad mood, ask her if she’d like a back rub. Even if you’re not a professional masseuse, this simple gesture can go a long way with your wife. ^{[15]
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- Foot and neck massages are also a great option!
Don’t be shy when it comes to letting your wife know how you feel. Instead, try to let her know at random times, or in casual conversation. ^{[16]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} While you’re not reinventing the romantic wheel with this gesture, you can add a timeless sense of romance to your marriage by telling your wife that you love her. ^{[17]
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