You and your wife have grown apart, and you’re hoping to re-establish the connection you used to share before the separation winds up permanent. Once you’ve reflected deeply about what had gone wrong, and are certain you want to maintain your relationship, remind yourself that rekindling your romance is possible. Then, take specific steps to indicate your willingness and genuine desire to win your wife back.
Things You Should Know
- Take the first steps by asking your wife what you can do, addressing changes in your behavior, being patient, and getting help if needed.
- Commit to being open and heartfelt when speaking with your wife as you figure out how to improve your relationship—and try to forgive and forget. [1] X Research source
- Give your wife space and try not to call or text constantly, as this can seem like desperate behavior.
Steps
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I avoid divorce?Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015.John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and researcher, studied why some marriages work and some don’t. He found there are four things that could predict a divorce; he called them the “the four horsemen.” They are criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. Stonewalling refers to when a partner stops listening, or “shuts down” during a heated conversation. It’s important to keep these in mind and, through regular communication, try to find healthier ways to talk about your differences.
Tips
Warnings
- See a mental health professional to help you address strong emotional fluctuations and any feelings of helplessness or extreme loneliness if you’re unable to shake them.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/202206/how-get-your-ex-back-strategies-reconciling
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201812/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
- ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_realtionships
- ↑ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/love-and-relationships_b_5624213
- ↑ Jin S. Kim, MA. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm#
- ↑ Omar Ruiz, LMFT. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 22 April 2022.
- ↑ https://headspace.org.au/blog/what-to-do-when-your-relationship-is-struggling/
About This Article
To win your wife back, ask her what needs to change about your relationship. Just by asking, you’ll be showing her that you care about how she feels and are willing to put an effort into your marriage. Try saying something like “I know it’s been rough lately. What can I do to prove how much this relationship means to me?” You’ll also want to address any potentially negative changes in your behavior since you got married. For example, if you’ve become more stressed at work and are harder to be around or if you seldom make time for your wife, try to separate your work and home life or schedule specific time to spend with her. To learn how to give your wife space while trying to win her back, keep reading.
Reader Success Stories
- "It helped, and it makes a lot of sense, especially giving her space, which she has said she wants. I'm tired of crying over her, and, obviously, that won't help in terms of getting her back, and it definitely doesn't help me." ..." more