How to Flirt on Tinder

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

You’ve been swiping on Tinder all day, and you’ve gotten a few matches—great job! If you’re wondering what you should do next, you’re not alone. Engaging your Tinder match in a flirty conversation is a great way to get to know them better, and it could even lead to an IRL date. Don’t be afraid to get a little cheeky as you flirt with your Tinder matches to see if they like you too.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Opening Line

PDF download Download Article
  1. 1
    Stick to open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. If you ask anything that has a “yes” or “no” answer, you run the risk of a boring conversation. Instead, use your questions to let your match tell you a story.
    • For example, instead of saying, “Do you have any pets?” try, “What’s your favorite animal?”
    • Instead of “Do you like snowboarding?” try, “What do you like to do on the weekends?”
  2. Pick out anything that seems interesting: do they have a dog? Are they out in nature a lot? Do they talk about something funny in their bio? Spend a few minutes gathering intel on the person so you don’t show up to the convo empty-handed. [1]
    Advertisement
  3. This makes your opening message sound personal and like you’ve given it some thought. You can ask about movies they like, hobbies they enjoy, or a pet they own. [5]
    • For example, if they mention they like James Bond movies, you could say, “Which Bond movie was your fav? I love anything with Sean Connery in it, personally.”
    • Or, if they’re into Disney, ask something like, “If you could date any Disney prince or princess, who would you choose?”
  4. If you swiped right on this person, there’s a good chance you have something in common. Mention that in your opening message so you have something to talk about. For example:
    • “I love Animal Crossing! Who’s your favorite villager?”
    • “I just watched Parasite too. What’d you think?”
    • “I have a pug too! How old is yours?”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 326 wikiHow readers, and 59% agreed that bonding over a common interest is a great way to start a conversation with someone online. [Take Poll]
  5. It doesn’t have to be a pickup line, but you can use a one-liner to make your match laugh. Try something like:
    • “I’ve been trying to come up with a psychology pickup line to use, but I’m 'aFreud' I couldn’t come up with anything.”
    • “Hey, I’m writing an article on the finer things in life and I was wondering if I could interview you.”
    • “If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.”
    • “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should we match again?”
    • “They say Tinder is a numbers game… so can I get your number?”
  6. If you matched with each other, it’s probably because you like each other. Tell your match that you like something about them or their profile. [6]
    • You could try something like, “It’s really cool that you like to rock climb. I’ve never met someone who does that before!”
    • Or, “You look great in that first pic you posted.”
    7. Advertisement
Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Conversation

PDF download Download Article
  1. These funny situations can take your conversation to the next level. Come up with a ridiculous scenario, then ask your match what they’d rather do. For example: [7]
    • “Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?”
    • “Would you rather get matching tattoos or matching piercings?”
    • “Would you rather shave your head or shave your eyebrows?”
  2. This is more interesting than asking a million questions, and it can lead to a fun conversation. Take another quick glance over their profile, then come up with something you think they do or enjoy. For example: [8]
    • “Your scarf is so colorful, you must be an art student.”
    • “You visit a lot of restaurants! You must be a foodie.”
    • “You sure love to hike! You’re probably in great shape.”
  3. Puns are so bad that they’re good. If you want to make your match interested with a little play on words, try something like: [9]
    • “Y’know, comedy isn’t really my strong suit. My navy one is.”
    • “Are you a keyboard? Because I think you’re my type.”
    • “You’re sweeter than 3.14.”
  4. It’s charming and sweet, and it takes the edge off a more serious conversation. Keep it silly by saying something like:
    • “Is this flirting? Are we flirting now?”
    • “Is that what the kids call banter?”
  5. If you leave your match on read, they’re probably going to think you don’t like talking to them. Everyone’s busy with other things, so if you can’t reply for a while, let your match know.
    • You could say something like, “Hey, I’m gonna be pretty swamped at work this week, so sorry if it takes me a while to reply.”
    • You should try to reply as often as you can if you’re enjoying the conversation. Don’t feel like you have to wait a certain amount of time before responding to their messages!
    6. Advertisement
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Asking Them Out

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you aren’t sure they’re up for meeting you yet, test the waters by asking them for their number. Ask them if they’d be down to exchange digits so you can talk more later. [10]
    • Texting is pretty similar to talking on Tinder, so see if they’d like to chat on the phone or FaceTime instead.
    • Try something like, “I really like talking to you. Here’s my number if you wanna text me.”
    • Or, “Would you want to exchange numbers? I’m not on Tinder very often.”
  2. In the era of COVID-19, in-person dates may not be an option. Instead, ask your match if they’d like to FaceTime or video chat for some face-to-face contact.
    • Say something like, “I’d love to meet up in person but that’s not really an option right now. Would you be down to FaceTime later?”
    • You could also try watching a movie or TV show together through Netflix or Hulu’s “watch party” feature.
  3. If you’re both addicted to coffee, head to a cafe. If you both love whisky, ask them to meet up at a local whisky bar. If you’re both interested in the activity, there’s a higher chance of your match saying yes. [11]
    • Say something like, “I heard there’s a new cafe downtown. Want to try it out with me?”
    • Or, “I’d love to take you to my favorite bar. Their whisky is the best!”
  4. This takes the pressure off of both of you because it’s not a direct question about a date. You can inquire about their weekend plans to stay cool and casual while gauging their response; if they’re interested, they’ll say they don’t have plans. For example:
    • “What are you doing this weekend? I was thinking about going bowling.”
    • “Got any plans next week? I kinda wanted to see the new Marvel movie.”
  5. If you’ve been feeling the vibes in your messages, you can keep the flirtation going when you ask them out. Make it sound like the date is their idea by saying something like:
    • “Do you know any good places to get Italian food?”
    • “If I were to take you on your ideal date, what would that look like?”
    • “I’m looking for a really romantic restaurant in the area. Any ideas?”
    6. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How do I stop being boring on tinder?
    Candice Mostisser
    Dating Coach
    Candice Mostisser is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingman/wingwoman services, 1-on-1 coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world.
    Candice Mostisser
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Avoid the clichéd "dinner and a movie" first meeting, since that can seem a little boring. Try rock climbing, hiking, or go-carts for a first date they’ll never forget.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 3 Helpful 1
  • Question
    How do you make a good Tinder profile?
    Maya Diamond, MA
    Relationship Coach
    Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
    Maya Diamond, MA
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Make a profile that represents your interests, lifestyle, and personality. Be very clear about why you are on Tinder.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 1 Helpful 1
  • Question
    What is the benefit of being clear about why you are on a dating site?
    Maya Diamond, MA
    Relationship Coach
    Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
    Maya Diamond, MA
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Being clear about why you are on a dating site helps to filter the people. It helps to attract those people who match your goals and vision.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 1 Helpful 2
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      • Fill out your bio and make sure your pictures show off your personality to get more matches.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      • If someone doesn’t reply, don’t be offended! There are plenty of other matches you can talk to.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

      Tips from our Readers

      The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
      • You can connect Tinder with Instagram. If you are really flattered by someone, just click on their Instagram profile and DM them. It's easier to make progress on Instagram than Tinder.
      • Be quick on getting someone's number or social media details. The longer a convo goes on when you're on Tinder, the less likely it becomes that the convo is going to get off of Tinder.
      • Don't make your profile overwhelming and long. Make it just long enough to capture someone's attention and draw them in.
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Make a Good Tinder Profile
      How to
      Find Someone on Tinder: 5 Things to Try
      The Easiest Ways to Fix a Shadowbanned Tinder Account
      Why You’re Getting No Matches on Tinder (And How to Fix It)
      Starting Again on Tinder
      The Best Tinder Bios for Girls
      The 11 Best Ways to Respond to "Hey" from a Girl on Tinder
      How to
      Use Tinder
      Quick Guide: Pausing Your Tinder Account to Take a Break
      100+ Tinder Rizz Pick-Up Lines to Woo Your Next Match
      How to
      Get Tinder Gold for Free: What You Need to Know
      150+ Funny & Fascinating Questions to Ask Your Match on Tinder
      Tinder Read Receipts: How They Work & Are They Worth It?
      Why Did My Tinder Matches Disappear? And How To Restore Them
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/news/a41110/tinder-dating-tips/
      2. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      3. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      4. ↑ Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2MY9pOdqwY&feature=youtu.be&t=304
      6. ↑ Candice Mostisser. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
      7. ↑ https://ourfeelings.org/would-you-rather-questions/
      8. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYTzs-WPox8&feature=youtu.be&t=463
      9. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpT-q0oAGSo&feature=youtu.be&t=406
      1. ↑ https://medium.com/@kyozaki/how-i-get-a-girls-number-on-tinder-almost-100-of-the-time-9c6a79f52ac5
      2. ↑ https://medium.com/@SarahH03/how-to-ask-a-woman-out-on-a-dating-app-a-guide-for-men-a84678d98fdb

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To flirt on Tinder, start by striking up a conversation with a creative opening line. For example, if your match has a picture of him holding a surfboard, ask him about his favorite surfing spots. If the person responds, keep them interested by asking them questions about their hobbies and giving them a few compliments. Try not to talk about yourself too much, but you can throw in a few facts casually when they’re relevant. If the conversation is going well, ask them for their phone number or offer yours so you can continue flirting in a more personal manner. For more flirting tips, like how to schedule a meet-up with your crush, keep reading!

      Did this summary help you?
      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,539,262 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Chris Vinci

        Oct 18, 2016

        "This was helpful, as I have self esteem issues, so thank you."
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement