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I miss my ex so much

For a complete guide to this topic, read the wikiHow article 10 Reasons You Still Miss Your Ex and How to Deal with Those Feelings .

WikiFawnTamer303

01/05/25 7:17pm

My boyfriend and i broke up almost a year ago, i still miss him every day. It almost feels like it just happened still. Why do I miss him so much? Will this ever get easier? How do you move on from the love of your life?

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Amy Chan
Relationship Coach

01/06/25 11:19am

It usually takes somewhere between about six months to two years to get over a breakup. Once you understand what's happening in the brain, you'll realize that feeling sad and missing your ex after a breakup is natural. The same flood of chemicals that cause you to be blissfully in lust during the beginning stages of love are the exact same chemicals that cause you to painfully suffer when it ends.

During the first stage of dating, a flood of chemicals is at play, designed to make you and your mate procreate. The exhilaration, the obsessive thoughts of your new beloved, and the butterflies-in-stomach feelings are all a result of the motivation system — the mating drive that is a part of the reward system in the brain.

The rewards system is responsible for the release of dopamine. Dopamine is that feel-good chemical that leaves you wanting more of whatever stimulus gave you the reward in the first place — whether the stimulus is nicotine, chocolate, or a loving touch from your partner. Dopamine cravings motivate you to act accordingly to get more of whatever it is you need, and in the case of romance, that need is your beloved. The brain is expecting the reward to come in (validation from the partner, acknowledgment, return of affection, etc.).

However, after a breakup, the reward is either delayed or doesn't come at all. Even though on a cognitive level you know the relationship is over, the neurons in your brain that are expecting reward do not shut down, keeping you unconsciously in love and addicted to your ex to get your fix.

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WikiMongooseChaser121

01/07/25 6:31pm

1. You miss him so much because you spent a lot of time with him, were vulnerable with him, felt safe with him, had strong feelings for him, and many more reasons. It totally makes sense for you to be hurting.
2. Yes, it does get easier. It's hard to believe that it gets easier when your emotions are still so raw, but you have to trust that time will heal you. It took me nearly 2 years to get over my last breakup.
3. You move on from the love of your life by focusing on yourself. Breakups can be hard on you, so make sure that you're giving your body the nutrients and rest that it needs. Take care of your mental and emotional health too by doing things that bring you joy and spending time with people who uplift you.

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WikiCapybaraTamer317

01/10/25 8:55am

First off, I'm so sorry about your breakup. I know those can be devastating. It took me a long, long time to get over my ex. It's been almost 5 years and honestly I still miss her every now and then. Try your best to be kind to yourself, and don't pressure yourself to heal faster than you need to. You're allowed to take time to heal. If you can, try to get rid of any reminders of your ex. Every time you see something that reminds you of them, you make it a little harder to heal.

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WikiWombatWhisperer783

01/07/25 11:19pm

It's super normal to miss your ex! Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way. What helped me heal from a really bad breakup was getting a therapist. Having a space to process my emotions in was so valuable. I know therapy can be expensive tho so if you have caring friend who is willing to listen or even a journal that you can reflect in, that could work too!

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