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Plus, learn the difference between romantic & friendly hugs
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Hugging someone is a great way to show how much you love them—whether that person is a friend, family member, or significant other. But what takes a hug to the next level when you want to show your romantic partner just how much you love them? A romantic hug lasts a little longer, and you generally hold them more closely…but there’s a lot more to it! We spoke with dating coaches Connell Barrett and Imad Jbara for more tips on how (and when) to pull the person you love into your arms for a sweet embrace.
How do you hug someone romantically?
Hug someone romantically by positioning your arms around them and holding them close enough that your full body is tucked against them. Then, lean your head against theirs and squeeze them softly to make the hug more intimate.
Steps
Section 1 of 4:
Hugging Someone Romantically: Front-to-Front
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Position your arms to draw your torsos together. In a romantic hug, your torsos—your shoulders, chests, and stomachs—touch. This is a wonderfully warm and intimate position that emphasizes closeness. [1] X Research source
- Generally, when hugging someone shorter , the taller person puts their arms around the waist of the shorter person. To hug someone taller , the shorter hugger usually puts their arms around the neck or shoulders of the taller person.
- The opposite can also happen, especially if there's a big height difference: the taller person places their arms around the other person's shoulders (and draws them into their chest), while the other person wraps their arms around the waist.
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Lean your head against the person you’re hugging. Leaning your head on or against someone builds physical intimacy . Move your head to the side as you lean in to give a romantic hug (in the US, most people will automatically move to their right.) Don't go too far to the side, though! To give a good hug , get close enough to brush your cheek against the other person's face. To add an extra romantic touch, nuzzle your head or even your face into the head or neck of the other person (or chest, if you're much shorter than the person you're hugging). [2] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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Squeeze the person you’re hugging and hold them tightly. A romantic hug lasts longer than a platonic hug. Gently clutch a little tighter for two or three seconds. Take a deep breath and exhale. Then, relax into the hug and enjoy it. Make sure your squeeze is strong enough to be noticeable but not so tight it prevents the other person from breathing normally. Causing your hugging partner to pass out from lack of oxygen is not considered romantic in most circles. [3] X Research source
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Use your hands to caress the other person. Rub one of your hands on their back or arm a few times. Or if your hand is by the person's head, gently stroke their hair or the back of their neck. A slow caress is romantic and pleasant for the other person. A brisk caress is comical unless it's freezing outside and you're warming up your hugging partner.EXPERT TIPCertified Professional MatchmakerLeTisha Underwood is a Certified Professional Matchmaker and the CEO of Two Hearts Exclusive Matchmaking Services. With more than five years of experience, she specializes in helping marriage-minded people find their life partners. LeTisha holds a Matchmaker Certification from The Global Love Institute.
Try hugging your crush with both arms around their neck. Then, rest one palm ever so gently at the nape of their neck. Make the hug last longer than a second. And don’t forget to look into their eyes while smiling.
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Let go of the hug slowly. Wait a few seconds before letting go. As you pull away, keep your hands on the other person so you're still touching each other after you hug. This is a good time to look into each other's eyes, smile , and say “I love you” from the heart.
- A romantic hug can last as long as you and your partner like, so you don’t have to let go after a few seconds if you’re both enjoying the hug!
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Section 2 of 4:
Hugging Someone Romantically: Front-to-Back
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Approach the person you’re hugging from behind. Hugging someone from behind is usually a pleasant and spontaneous way to give your love a sweet surprise. Just make sure they aren’t doing anything too important when you wrap your arms around their waist and rest your head against theirs.
- Be careful not to scare the person you’re hugging. Barrett says, “You always want the move you're going to make to be well received, wanted, and not surprising. You don't want to get the awkward, ‘Why are you making that move? get away!’” Plus, they may react by lashing out before they realize you’re the one who grabbed them from behind…which is the opposite of romantic.
- It’s important to know if it’s okay to hug someone as a given time.
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Press against the person’s back and wrap your arms around them. When you’re hugging from behind , it doesn't matter as much if you’re taller or shorter than the other person. Just be aware of where your hands end up. Generally, a taller hugger relaxes their upper arms and reaches around to hug the shorter person with their lower arms. When a shorter person hugs someone taller, they usually hold their arms straight out to reach around the other person comfortably.
- "Stack" one arm on top of the other, one arm in front of the other, or even reach up over the chest and hold the shoulders of the person you are hugging.
- The best place for your arms depends on their size and the size of the person you’re hugging.
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Squeeze them with your arms and hold them tightly. A romantic hug usually lasts at least a few seconds longer than a platonic hug. Gently hold your special someone a little tighter for an extra two or three seconds. Then, take a deep breath and exhale. Relax your body and really enjoy the closeness of the hug.
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Angle your neck so your head touches them. Like the front-facing hug, leaning your head on or against someone signals intimacy. If you’re as tall or taller than the hugged one, nuzzle against the side of their face or neck. If you’re shorter, rest your head sideways on their back.
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Use your hands to stroke the other person gently. For the person being hugged, caressing your hugger's arms is natural and pleasant for both of you. Or reach back and caress their face or hair. For the hugger, though, caressing can become fairly intimate without much effort. If you're at that level with the person you’re hugging, it’s a delightful way to initiate sex. If not, proceed with caution. A slow caress is romantic. Going too fast breaks the mood.
- Once you’ve hugged the other person from behind, make it a front-facing hug by gently turning them around to face you. Then, enjoy the closeness of a face-to-face hug…and maybe a kiss !
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Community Q&A
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QuestionHow do I hug someone much taller than me?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou can try standing up on your tiptoes and reaching up to them. If the height difference is too much, though, you can always wrap your arms around their waist and lay your head on their chest.
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QuestionWhat’s the best way to hug someone a lot shorter than you?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerYou’ll probably need to bend down a bit to make it comfortable for them. Reach down to wrap your arms around their upper back. You can also try resting your chin lightly on top of their head.
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QuestionWhat does it mean if a guy hugs you tight?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerA tight hug is usually a sign of affection! If it makes you uncomfortable, though, don’t be afraid to tell him to stop or ease off a bit.
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Tips
- Hugging is like dancing or kissing; it's interactive. You feed off the energy of the other person, and you can't force a response.Thanks
- A hug brings someone up close and personal, so keep body odor at bay . At the same time, remember that perfume, cologne, and breath mints can all make a romantic hug more enjoyable when used lightly. Nothing can draw you out of the moment more than an unpleasant odor emanating from you or your partner, and this can include overpowering perfume.Thanks
- Do everything slowly. Quick grab-and-grins are for people you don't know or family members you don't particularly like; slower hugs are meant for someone whose presence you want to savor. Also, because a romantic hug is such an intimate interaction, you'll want to give the other person plenty of time to stop you if they feel uncomfortable. Don't move at a glacial pace, but do lean in slowly enough that the other person can know what you're doing.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
- Run your hand through their hair and caress their neck to make them feel wanted. You can also try nuzzling against them and talking against their neck.
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Warnings
- Don't hug someone without permission, even if you're in a relationship.Thanks
- Ask them if you can hug them if the relationship has just started or if you’re trying to get to know them.Thanks
- Not everyone enjoys hugging, even in a romantic relationship. It's important to communicate openly if you feel your hugging gesture has been rebuffed and to accept it if you discover that your partner really doesn't like being hugged. Barrett recommends backing off if they freeze up or get tense when you hug them.Thanks
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References
- ↑ http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/hugging.htm
- ↑ http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/romantic_body.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1877858522000730
- ↑ https://www.pennmedicine.org/updates/blogs/health-and-wellness/2018/february/affection
- ↑ https://www.rigb.org/explore-science/explore/blog/science-love-first-sight
About This Article
Article Summary
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To hug romantically, wrap your arms around your partner's waist if you're taller than them, or wrap your arms around their neck if you're shorter. Then, when you're hugging, nuzzle your head into your partner's chest or neck to make the hug more intimate. You can also rub your hands on their arm or back a few times. When you're finished, let go slowly, and try looking into your partner's eyes for a moment. To learn how to romantically hug someone from behind, scroll down!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I fell in love with my best friend! School finished in my country and that is awful because I can't see her again. Actually, next year I want to go to University and, when we wanted to say goodbye, I was sick and I was alone. My head was on my table and suddenly she comes to my class and touches my face. It makes me relaxed and interesting. I go out from the class and hug her for a long time. She laughs when I do this and when I come out from her arms she saw my eyes have tears! " ..." more
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"I fell in love with my best friend! School finished in my country and that is awful because I can't see her again. Actually, next year I want to go to University and, when we wanted to say goodbye, I was sick and I was alone. My head was on my table and suddenly she comes to my class and touches my face. It makes me relaxed and interesting. I go out from the class and hug her for a long time. She laughs when I do this and when I come out from her arms she saw my eyes have tears! "
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"Hugged a girl successfully for the first time yesterday. Thank you to whoever made this, it was super helpful and I will definitely recommend to my friends."
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"Grab her around the waist and make her feel secure and warm. I am the girl and it kind of makes sense. Now I have to teach him that."
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"Letting me know to elongate the hug worked great with my partner. Also, the positioning of the arms was helpful as well."
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"It helped me know that there are different ways to hug your partner and not only that, it's also romantic!"
