How to Kiss Someone on the Hand

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Be classy with this sauve and thoughtful gesture
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Hand-kissing seems awfully suave when it's done in movies and books, but is it still a thing? Good question! It usually depends on the situation and local culture, but there are definitely some general rules you can keep in mind the next time you're thinking about kissing someone on the hand. We've put together answers to some of your most common hand-kissing questions to help you out.

Things You Should Know

  • Reach for the other person's hand with one or both of your hands and hold it lightly. Then, barely touch your lips to the center of the top of their hand.
  • Hand-kissing is an old-school way to show romantic tenderness or admiration.
  • In some parts of Europe, hand-kissing is a simple greeting, while historically, hand-kissing was done to show respect for people above your station. [1]
Question 1 of 6:

What's the proper etiquette for hand-kissing?

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  1. Reach for the other person's hand with one or both of your hands and hold it lightly. Err on the side of caution and barely touch your lips to the top center of their hand once. If they look uncomfortable, you might want to avoid doing this in the future. [2]
    • Traditionally, hand-kissing was very light, almost like an air-kiss.
    • You're probably going to catch the person off-guard since hand-kissing is so unusual these days. It's hard to tell how someone will react when they're caught off-guard, so keep that in mind!
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Question 2 of 6:

Who’s supposed to initiate hand-kissing?

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  1. Hand-kissing is basically obsolete in America. In Europe, hand-kissing is getting less common but the tradition isn’t totally dead, especially among the upper class. A wealthy older European woman might still offer her hand to a man for a kiss, but it's pretty unlikely. [3]
    • You might seem a little stuck up or strange if you offer your hand to be kissed when you meet someone, especially in America!
  2. 2
    In current times, the kisser will probably have to initiate it. In America, it’s extremely unlikely that a person will offer their hand to be kissed. In Europe, a man might initiate a kiss on a woman's hand since it's still a custom in some countries. [4]
    • For example, if you're a woman attending a fancy opera in Vienna, a gentleman may kiss your hand as a greeting. This is traditional and respectful. [5]
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Question 3 of 6:

Is it okay to kiss a woman's hand?

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  1. If you’re never met the woman before, kissing her hand could be a bit of a gamble. Some American women find hand-kissing cute or charming, while others may find it unbearably old-fashioned and even slightly chauvinistic. [6]
    • If you’re an American man in Europe and you’ve never been a hand-kisser, don’t pick up the habit now. It will probably just seem awkward if you do. [7]
Question 4 of 6:

Is it weird for a woman to kiss a guy’s hand?

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  1. These days, though? Gender roles aren’t what they used to be. If you’re a woman and you want to kiss a man or a woman’s hand, go for it! Just keep in mind that not everyone reacts well to this old-fashioned tradition. [8]
    • If the person is your significant other, gender roles aren't really a factor at all. In most cases, your significant other will just think it's sweet.
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Question 5 of 6:

What does it mean if you kiss someone on the hand?

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  1. [9] Hand-kissing is pretty old-school, so if a guy greets you with a hand kiss on a first date, he probably just has an old-fashioned sense of chivalry. If your significant other grabs your hand and kisses it, it’s a gesture of love and admiration. [10]
    • If old-fashioned chivalry is not your thing, just politely tell your date it makes you uncomfortable and laugh it off so they don't get too embarrassed.
    • In America, there's no reason to kiss someone's hand in a platonic situation unless you're just joking around.
Question 6 of 6:

What else could hand-kissing mean?

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  1. It’s not that weird if a European man kisses your hand, especially if he’s an older fellow. If you’re in Europe and it happens, just try to go with the flow since it’s a fairly normal custom. If you’re in America and a European man attempts to kiss your hand, you can go with it or gently let them know that it's pretty unusual to do that in America. [11]
    • The tradition of hand-kissing as a greeting may still continue in European countries like Italy, Spain, and Austria. [12]
  2. 2
    Historically, it was done to show respect to people above your station. For example, in England, it was pretty normal for subjects to kneel and kiss the king or queen’s hand. In Catholicism, kissing the Papal ring is a tradition that still lives on. In Europe, women used to offer their hands to be kissed when greeting men who were "below them," socially speaking. [13]
    • For example, in the 17th or 18th century, a man would have been expected to kiss the hand of a noblewoman.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://thereader.mitpress.mit.edu/an-illustrated-guide-to-mouth-gestures-and-their-meanings-around-the-world/
      2. ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-the-hell-kind-of-dude-is-still-kissing-womens-hands
      3. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/1979/06/17/archives/handkissing-guide-for-the-perplexed.html
      4. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/1979/06/17/archives/handkissing-guide-for-the-perplexed.html
      5. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/a29642232/hand-kiss-meaning/
      6. ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-the-hell-kind-of-dude-is-still-kissing-womens-hands
      7. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/1979/06/17/archives/handkissing-guide-for-the-perplexed.html
      8. ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-the-hell-kind-of-dude-is-still-kissing-womens-hands
      9. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngJvc8MZOBA&t=20s
      1. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/a29642232/hand-kiss-meaning/
      2. ↑ https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/what-the-hell-kind-of-dude-is-still-kissing-womens-hands
      3. ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/a29642232/hand-kiss-meaning/
      4. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/1979/06/17/archives/handkissing-guide-for-the-perplexed.html

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