How to Make a Man Feel Loved & Appreciated

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20 thoughtful ways to make your man feel special
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The idea that it is a guy's job to make a woman feel special and not the other way around is very out of date. Today, it's normal for both partners to share affection in their relationship. While every guy is different, there are a few basic things you can do to remind almost any special man how important he is to you. Surprise your partner with these 20 ideas to show you care, with expert tips from Marriage and Family Therapist, Elvina Lui!

How to Make Your Man Feel Special

  • Compliment your man and treat him to things you know he likes.
  • Be generous with your affection, flirt with him, and be physically intimate (if desired).
  • Stand up for him, listen to him, and give him your support when he feels down.
1

Compliment your man sincerely and frequently.

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  1. It helps them feel loved and confident in themselves. Whenever you have the opportunity to do it genuinely, verbally compliment your man to show you admire him. No quality or deed is too small to appreciate, so compliment everything from how hard he works to how good he smells. [1]
    • Another way to compliment your man is simply to give him your attention. Focusing on him (especially when you're talking with each other) shows that he's important to you.
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2

Treat him to something you know he likes.

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  1. If you're feeling especially generous, you can even treat him to an entire night that's all about him. For example, you might try cooking him dinner — his favorite meal would be a good choice. You can put on his favorite songs while you eat together, then watch his favorite film after that. Little actions like these will really make him feel adored. [2]
    • Turning a small gift into a surprise can make it even more amazing. For example, try slipping tickets to his favorite sports team into his hands when both of you are having dinner. The gifts can be inexpensive, but with the effort that goes into planning a great surprise, they'll make him feel like a million bucks.
    • If you don't have the budget for sweeping gestures, don't sweat it. According to Liu, "The quality of a date really doesn't depend on material things. Nice things are nice, but what's better is having fun together. That is what creates memories."
3

Cook him his favorite meals.

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  1. Guys appreciate women who can cook, but they also love it when you remember what foods they like – bonus points if you can make them yourself! Prepare your man's favorite meals, and you might be surprised at just how happy it makes him. [3]
    • If you can't cook, teach yourself how or take a course. In the meantime (or if you really don't like cooking), order takeout from his favorite restaurants, taking care to pick the menu items you know he likes the most.
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4

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  1. One great way to do this is to flirt with him as if you were just getting to know each other — even if you've been together for years. You can compliment his looks, give him little shows of affection, and then play "hard to get," or even gently tease him. [4]
    • Don't be afraid to rizz up your compliments , especially if you've known your partner for a long time and you have a good rapport. Try fun zingers that'll make them blush (in a good way) like, "If I were a cat, I’d spend all 9 lives with you," or "I want to take you to the movies, but they won't let me bring my favorite snack."
5

Give him opportunities to show off his strengths.

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  1. You can do this by giving him chances to "prove himself." Ask your man to help you with things you could probably do yourself, like changing a light bulb or opening a jar of pickles. These small gestures will make him feel like your valued provider and protector. [5]
    • Some men may not pick up on your gesture right away, so give him a compliment as he finishes the task. Even something as simple as "How strong!" accompanied by a kiss on the cheek can get the point across.
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6

Show affection with touch.

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  1. Start by touching him casually whenever the opportunity presents itself. As you spend more time together, touch him more often and in more intimate ways, like on his leg when you're sitting down or on his chest when you're standing next to him. Finally, when you're ready to move into serious territory, kiss him on the cheeks or the lips. [6]
    • Whenever you touch, make sure you really mean it — a forced, insincere touch won't make him feel special.
    • The "limit" on your touching should be whatever you and your special guy are comfortable with. Don't feel pressured to move too fast. Stick to physical shows of affection that don't leave you uneasy and allow your relationship to progress naturally.
7

Be physically intimate with him (if you desire).

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  1. It's a scientific fact that being physically intimate produces more oxytocin, which is a hormone our body releases to make us feel happy, satisfied, and relaxed. Cultivate a healthy sex life with your man if that's something you've already agreed to do together at this phase in your relationship. [7]
    • To really raise the spice level in your relationship, initiate sex at random moments and surprise him. Approach him while he's gaming, doing a chore, or watching TV (again, you should only do this if it's something you know you both enjoy).
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8

Show him your true, unapologetic self.

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  1. This is especially the case if you don't normally reveal this side to other people. Be silly, be strange, be wild — whatever you feel like being! By doing so, you'll demonstrate how comfortable you feel around him, which in turn will make him lower his guard as well. [8]
    • Timing is important here. While you should start to lower your guard once it's clear that you like each other, you shouldn't immediately launch into your most bizarre habits. This can be confusing. Instead, introduce these things gradually so you both have a chance to get used to each others' true selves.
9

Show gratitude for the things he does for you.

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  1. Too often in life, we get busy and forget to appreciate the small and big things our partners do for us, like helping provide for the household, doing chores, and buying us gifts. Acknowledge these things and your man will not only feel seen, but he'll feel even more motivated to keep doing them to make you happy. [9]
    • You don't have to have a special reason to thank your man or wait until he's performed a specific task to show appreciation. Try thanking him for just being himself and for all the wonderful qualities he brings to your relationship.
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10

Make sure his needs in the relationship are met.

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  1. In many relationships, men are made to feel like they're responsible for meeting their partner's needs, but not the other way around. Flip the script by treating your guy like an equal voice in your relationship and ensure he feels happy and secure. [10]
    • Not sure what his needs are? Ask him! Just remember that he may have needs you're not meeting, so go into the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to compromise.
11

Stand up for your man.

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  1. Take the pressure off him by defending him when the need arises. For example, if someone in public disrespects him or is rude, you don't have to meekly stand by and wait for him to handle it. Feel free to stand up for him with your words and actions. This will make him feel like you are willing to go out of your way to protect him, which shows how much you care about him. [11]
    • You can also stand up for your man when he isn't around. For example, if you're with friends or family and they start gossiping about him, you can defend him verbally or refuse to engage in the conversation until they change topics.
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12

Support him when he feels depressed or sad.

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  1. In fact, they often feel pressure to act like nothing ever worries them. They may even have been taught that showing vulnerability (through fear, crying, etc.) is a sign of weakness. Let him know that, around you, he doesn't have to be strong all the time. Offering a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on when things are not going well for him can make him feel like the most special guy in the world. [12]
    • Some men may not take every opportunity to share their fears and anxieties with you. Try not to feel unwanted if he pretends that everything is fine when it's obviously not. Offering your help (even if he declines it) shows that you care about him and are always eager to help him. Be ready to support him when he does ask for your help.
13

Communicate openly and honestly with him.

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  1. Take time out of every day to talk to him. Tell him about your day and ask him about his. Mention anything that happened that bothered you and commiserate with him about his problems, too. Talk to him about your plans for the week or weekend, keep him updated about your friends and family, and tell him about anything else that's important to you. [13]
    • If you don't live with your partner, schedule specific days and times throughout the week to talk to each other one-on-one. These talking sessions can be done over the phone or in-person as long as you have them regularly. This practice will help you stay connected and communicate better .
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14

Listen to him when he opens up to you.

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  1. Listen carefully to his words and the emotions behind them to try and understand him. Then find the most helpful way to respond. For example, if he tells you about an opportunity for a promotion at work, he may want your advice on whether he should pursue it. If he tells you about a traumatic experience from his past, he may want you to validate his feelings and express your support for him, no matter what. [14]
    • Lui says you can validate his feelings even if you have to give him negative feedback. Frame your response "from a place of empathy instead of criticism, so he knows you are on his side."
15

Treat him and his feelings with respect.

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  1. Some people confuse "respect" with "submission," but these are two opposing concepts. When you respect someone, it simply means you speak kindly to them, value their opinions, and never cross the boundaries they set. [15]
    • For example, if your man expresses that he doesn't like to be touched in a certain area of his body, you can show respect to him as a human being and your partner by not touching him there.
    • Liu says, "While individuals vary, generally speaking, males have a greater need to feel respected while females have a greater need to be adored." Keep this in mind in your conversations with your male partner.
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16

Express interest in his interests.

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  1. Talking about his profession or hobbies to you is his way of bidding for your attention and validation. Listening to him is also a great way to show that you respect him because you're showing that you value the things he values. [16]
    • For example, if he loves to play video games, ask him questions about the video games he plays and try to remember details about them so you can engage in an intelligent conversation on the topic.
17

Set aside quality time for just the two of you.

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  1. It's also scientifically proven to improve your relationship! So go on a date or spend some time at home with just the two of you and no family members or friends around (no kids, either!). Focus solely on each other and reduce outside distractions, like mobile phones, as much as possible. These few hours are about you and him and strengthening your bond. [17]
    • If you're not able to go out often by yourselves, then when you do, avoid seeing a movie or doing a similar activity that makes talking difficult. Always strive to find more ways to connect, not fewer. Instead, try these fun date ideas :
      • Share a nice meal at your favorite restaurant (or someplace new)
      • Go on a romantic walk in the park
      • Do a physical activity like bowling or miniature golf so you can talk and play at the same time
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18

Work through conflict together.

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  1. Instead of making him feel like the bad guy and like he's always wrong any time you have an argument, recognize your part in it, as well. Be willing to compromise (while still holding fast to your values) and meet him halfway, so you can both feel like you came out on top. [18]
    • Avoid squabbling over little, insignificant matters. For example, one classic dispute among couples is whether to put a new toilet paper roll on the holder with the edge of the paper hanging over or under the roll. It may be annoying if he does it differently from you, but it's certainly not the end of the world. Plus, you may make him feel defensive and on edge if you're always starting fights over small things like that.
19

Try to get along with his friends and family.

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  1. Sometimes we may not always get along with our partner's family, but we can make a good effort by showing up to important family events and focusing on things we have in common. You can also support his friendships by encouraging him to spend time with his friends instead of making him feel guilty about it. He may like it even more if you join in! [19]
    • It's perfectly okay to do separate activities apart from each other from time to time. Some experts recommend spending 70% of your time with your partner and 30% by yourself pursuing your own interests and hanging out with your friends. You and your man may need more or less time than that, so just do whatever feels best and natural. [20]
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20

Leave him spontaneous love notes.

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  1. You don't have to bombard him with love messages (that's called love-bombing , and most people don't like it). But send him a random text now and then or write sticky notes and leave them on the bathroom mirror for him. [21]
    • Say encouraging things like, "You're my favorite person in the whole world," "I'm always rooting for you," and "Have an amazing day, sweetheart!"

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      Tips

      • Opinions vary on the subject of PDA (public displays of affection). Some guys love to "show off" by hugging and kissing their ladies in public, while others are embarrassed by this kind of behavior. If you're not sure how your man feels, just ask him. Pay attention to his reaction when you do give him some PDA — he may claim to enjoy it but flush with embarrassment when it actually happens.
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      • You can (and should) take your special guy out sometimes.' Don't simply wait for him to take you out. While this was once the norm, today, partners in a relationship are expected to share dating duties.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201611/positives-partner
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sociability/201407/5-ways-make-anyone-feel-special
      3. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/12/showing-gratitude-thank-you-men-make-him-feel-appreciated
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201706/11-major-flirting-techniques-women
      5. ↑ https://matthewhussey.com/blog/is-it-wrong-to-stroke-the-male-ego/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201203/how-start-or-restart-your-sex-life-touch
      7. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/relationship-help
      8. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/make-a-man-feel-needed
      9. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/12/showing-gratitude-thank-you-men-make-him-feel-appreciated
      1. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/why-you-need-to-accept-your-partners-needs/
      2. ↑ https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-to-defend-and-stand-up-for-your-spouse/
      3. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/make-a-man-feel-needed
      4. ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_relationships
      5. ↑ https://www.amherst.edu/campuslife/health-safety-wellness/counseling/self_care/healthy_relationships/10_tips_for_health_relationships
      6. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/make-a-man-feel-needed
      7. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/
      8. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8320759/
      9. ↑ https://www.nu.edu/blog/seven-conflict-resolution-tips-for-couples/
      10. ↑ https://verilymag.com/2015/05/relationships-from-a-guys-perspective-meeting-your-boyfriends-friends
      11. ↑ https://anchorlighttherapy.com/how-much-alone-time-is-normal-in-a-relationship/
      12. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      To make a guy feel special, treat him to something he likes, such as cooking him his favorite meal or putting on music he likes. You could also show him affection by offering him hugs and kisses during a romantic evening. If you want to flirt with him, tease him about something or compliment his looks, which will show him you find him attractive. Alternatively, you can flirt by touching him on the shoulders or chest when you’re standing up. While you're having a conversation, maintain eye contact and smile, which will tell him that you enjoy being around him. For tips on how to support your guy when he feels down, keep reading!

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        Sep 27, 2017

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