Q&A for How to Ask for What You Want

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Why am I always afraid to ask for what they want?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

Typically, this happens when someone has experience being rejected. Because they've been told "no," in the past, they assume they're going to be told "no" in the future. This can sort of snowball into an anxiety or fear. You may need to get help from a coach or therapist to get over this, since it can take some time.

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Question

Is it okay to make requests at work?

Guy Reichard
Executive Life Coach
Guy Reichard is an Executive Life Coach and the Founder of HeartRich Coaching & Training, a professional life coaching and inner leadership training provider based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He works with people to create more meaning, purpose, well-being, and fulfillment in their lives. Guy has over 10 years of personal growth coaching and resilience training experience, helping clients enhance and transform their inner worlds, so they can be a more positive and powerful influence on those they love and lead. He is an Adler Certified Professional Coach (ACPC), and is accredited by the International Coach Federation. He earned a BA in Psychology from York University in 1997 and a Master of Business Administration (MBA) from York University in 2000.

Guy Reichard

Executive Life Coach

Expert Answer

Some people think it's rude or aggressive to be assertive. The reality is that it's usually wise and reasonable to make sound requests.

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Question

I'm trying to ask my mum if I can sleep in the spare room. I'm tired of sleeping with my brother but I don't know when to ask.

CMOsborne

Community Answer

Pick a time when you're both calm, well-rested, and in a good mood. While you wait for this "right time," come up with your best argument for why--for instance, "I'll sleep better, and I think that will help with my grades in school."

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Question

What if somebody is always trying to persuade me to do their homework for them?

Community Answer

Tell them it's their homework, and their responsibility. You have your own homework to do, and if they don't do their own work, they won't learn anything. If they keep bothering you about it, talk to a teacher or another trusted adult.

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Question

I've been begging my dad for a puppy, but he says it's too much responsibility. And even though I'm the most responsible child in the house, he still won't get me one.

Community Answer

Do a lot of research about dog care and tell him everything you've learned and everything you're willing to do for the puppy. If you can get your siblings in on it, you could even promise to pitch in together to take care of it. You could also try to compromise and get a dog that's a little bit older, as they require less time and attention.

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How can I ask my dad if he can take me to Build-A-Bear for my 15th birthday?

Community Answer

Just bring it up when he's in a good mood and he's able to give you his full attention. Say something like, "Hey dad, do you think we could go to Build-A-Bear for my birthday?" This is a pretty reasonable birthday request, so he will probably say yes.

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Question

I’d like to change my school schedule, but I have to talk to the school counselor. My mom has already talked to him once, so I’m afraid to ask to change it again.

Community Answer

If you have a good reason for making another change, you should go ahead and ask, and explain your reason. What's the worst that could happen, he says no? At least you'll have tried.

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