Q&A for How to Be Likable

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  • Question
    How can I be likable in a conversation?
    Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Sirvart Mesrobian is a Clinical Psychologist based in West Los Angeles and Glendale, California. With over nine years of professional and research experience, Dr. Mesrobian specializes in individual, family, and couples treatment for young adults and adults. Dr. Mesrobian provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, motivational interviewing, trauma-focused treatments, and other services. She earned a Master's in Psychology and a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Listen to what others have to say without interruption, and engage with them in a conversation by offering your own opinions or asking more questions and learning about their thoughts.
  • Question
    How can I be likable without being fake?
    Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Sirvart Mesrobian is a Clinical Psychologist based in West Los Angeles and Glendale, California. With over nine years of professional and research experience, Dr. Mesrobian specializes in individual, family, and couples treatment for young adults and adults. Dr. Mesrobian provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, motivational interviewing, trauma-focused treatments, and other services. She earned a Master's in Psychology and a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Be open and accepting of others. It’s okay to have disagreements or difference of opinions, but it’s crucial to be respectful of other’s values and opinions while being honest about your own.
  • Question
    What qualities make a person likable?
    Sirvart Mesrobian, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Sirvart Mesrobian is a Clinical Psychologist based in West Los Angeles and Glendale, California. With over nine years of professional and research experience, Dr. Mesrobian specializes in individual, family, and couples treatment for young adults and adults. Dr. Mesrobian provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, motivational interviewing, trauma-focused treatments, and other services. She earned a Master's in Psychology and a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    People often enjoy being around someone who is engaged, interactive and honest.
  • Question
    How can I be friends with everyone?
    Community Answer
    It's not possible to be liked by everyone, just like you probably don't like everyone. Be yourself, and be kind. It doesn't take much to be a likable person.
  • Question
    If a person liked me before and now, because of something, stopped liking me, does this mean I have changed or the person has changed - and how do I know if it's for the good or bad?
    Community Answer
    The best thing to do is talk to them. Say something like "I've noticed we're not close anymore, is it something I did?" and take it from there. You may have grown apart from different interests, or you may wish to apologize for a past mistake and ask them if they'd be open to starting over.
  • Question
    How do I make eye contact when I'm autistic?
    Community Answer
    Try looking at their face, rather than their eyes. For example, you could look in between their eyes, at their forehead, or at their nose. If this still makes you uncomfortable, you might be able to get away with not making eye contact all the time. Instead, try to glance at their eyes everyone once in a while, and respond to what they are saying, so that they know you are listening.
  • Question
    What if the person I want to be friends with always says mean things about me?
    Community Answer
    Then he or she is not worthy of being your friend. Friends should support you, and if that person is mean to you, then it's time to find another person to be friends with.
  • Question
    How do I get recognized as having a good personality for the whole year at secondary school?
    Community Answer
    First impressions matter! First, dress nicely, with clothes you really like so you'll have more confidence. Smell good, brush your teeth, take care of your hair and just look good. Second, go to people and start a conversation. Keep it very light and happy. Be kind to everyone, speak with confidence, try being in the spotlight but with enough room for other people. Do not complain, be supportive and listen to people's problems. Keep secrets and be reliable. You can try being the best version of yourself. Be the friend you want to have.
  • Question
    What do I do when my friend always lies to me or doesn't want to hang out with me
    Community Answer
    You can't call someone who always lies to and ignores you a friend. You should just casually cut ties with him. Talk to him still, but not like you used to. Hang out with other friends who make you feel special.
  • Question
    I always try to be nice, but a rude guy always calls me dumb and underestimates me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Ignore him, or kill him with kindness. If you're always pleasant and nice to him no matter what he says or does to you, he'll be totally confused and he'll look like a real jerk to anyone observing the interaction. Don't let one rude person ruin your positive attitude.
  • Question
    How do I walk, talk, and do other regular acts like a true gentleman?
    Community Answer
    Dress neatly, be clean-shaven, never swear, be a good listener, and always treat women with great respect.
  • Question
    A girl recently blocked me on WhatsApp because I told her to not call me lesbian and fat. She always had a problem with me and doesn't want to tell me what it is, but I want to know. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    You shouldn't worry about it. She is probably just looking for attention, or maybe she's unhappy and wants to make other people unhappy. She wants you to react to her so she can make you upset. Just ignore her!
  • Question
    What can I do if other friends are always getting in the way of me hanging out with one of my friends?
    Community Answer
    Try to get along with your friend's other friends. Don't be jealous. Hang out together as a group! If for some reason this isn't an option, try talking to your friend. Don't mention these other people, just say "Hey, I miss you, let's hang out sometime one-on-one."
  • Question
    I am super shy, and not good at starting conversations. This new girl joined my class, and my bff is always talking to her. What can I do to make her notice me more?
    Community Answer
    You should try going with your friend when he is talking to the girl and be yourself. Girls like boys who are genuine and also show interest in them.
  • Question
    How can I get adults to like me? They think I'm very irresponsible and have a bad attitude.
    Community Answer
    Show them that you're not irresponsible. Be polite and say thank you, yes ma'am, the basics. Try not to talk back or mouth to your mom or dad when you get mad.
  • Question
    How do I get over being jealous of my friend making other friends?
    Community Answer
    Remember - the more the merrier. There could be good traits about those other friends that sparked a friendship. Don't look at it as if your friend going in another direction. Look at it as if she's expanding her social circle, which is something you can do too. Mix with her other friends! You might just like them too.
  • Question
    Why is it that my old friends and classmates always talk and wave at my friend whenever we walk pass them (but not me) and strangers always talk to her first? Is it something I do?
    Community Answer
    Possibly. Ask your friend her opinion. You may need to try being more social -- they may think you're stuck up if you're quiet, and many people ignore you if you seem stuck up.
  • Question
    What if I can't make friends since everyone already has their friend groups?
    Community Answer
    That's very hard to do, but there are always possibilities. Try to connect with one person at first. Then maybe you can join their group.
  • Question
    What do I do if the person I want to be best friends with has a different best friend?
    Community Answer
    See if you could become a group of three best friends, it will take time, but casually join their group and become closer with them until you are all considered bffs.
  • Question
    Is having sex for free going to make me likeable?
    Community Answer
    No! In fact, that's a good way to make other girls dislike you. Instead of worrying about being likable, maybe you should be working on your self esteem.
  • Question
    Being a 6th grade girl, how do I get the girls (and my ex-friends) that hate and talk about me to like me?
    Amberlight
    Community Answer
    Ignore them. If they hate you, there's not much you can do to improve their attitude towards you. Just shake it off. Even though it sounds hard, just make new friends. If they see that they're getting to you, they'll keep doing it.
  • Question
    How do I stop being a salty pain about someone liking my hobby?
    Community Answer
    You mentioned that it was your hobby and by basic definition, it's your hobby for your own personal enjoyment. It's a personal choice to enjoy whatever it is that makes your soul happy. And life is short and as you progress further down the road on your life's journey, you will discover (some more quickly than others) that what others may think doesn't and shouldn't have any bearing on what you do or what you enjoy. I try to redirect people back to their own life path when they get confused and start trying to interfere with the direction of my path. Be lighthearted and smile.
  • Question
    What if I don't know what to talk to the person who I want to be friends with? What should I say?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    You're responsible for no more than half the words in any conversation, so trust the other person to do the other half. Start with "How are you?", then, instead of having something ready in advance, see how the person replies and use that to go to the next bit. Even something corny like "Just 'fine'? Because you seem to be outright glowing with happiness." The key is to keep it short. End the conversation before it gets a chance to turn awkward, leave the other person wanting a little bit more, then do the same thing again the next day.
  • Question
    I heard that I was a "snitch". This coming from strangers. Should I let this affect me? I do think I follow the rules, but I don't think I enforce it on others that much.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It's too exhausting to let what anyone says affect you. There are 8 billion people here, and only one of them is you. If you let what they all say affect you, which moreover changes every day, every minute of every day, you'll be running around all your life trying to please everyone. Instead, be a duck: rain slides right off of you. Also, just because anyone says you're this or that doesn't mean you are, friend or stranger. Live your life the way you think you should, try your best to be kind, and let others be.
  • Question
    What should I do to be myself?
    Annie
    Community Answer
    Find out what you like! You can't be yourself if you're not being honest. Try out different things to find your groove! Once you find that, being yourself is easy.
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