Q&A for How to Behave Around Gay People if You Don't Accept Them

We can’t just assume someone’s sexual orientation. Remember that this is not something that we can figure out based on how someone dresses, acts, or talks, and assuming can lead to misunderstandings or something even worse. The best way to approach this is to recognize that a person’s sexual orientation is personal, and they’ll share it with you when they feel comfortable. If you’re wondering, ask yourself why it matters in your relationship with that person. Often, it’s more important to focus on the individual as a whole rather than trying to label or define their sexuality. Patterns in behavior can give clues about certain traits, but sexuality isn’t one of those things you can predict based on a few observations. Just like with other personal aspects of life, open communication is key. If you feel it’s relevant in a particular context, you can create an open, respectful environment where people feel safe sharing. Until then, it’s better to avoid assumptions and let people share what they’re comfortable with when they’re ready.

Some people are raised in environments where equality, respect, and love aren't very common. There's no single answer though, unfortunately.

You don't need to "be less gay." There's nothing wrong with being gay and you're fine just the way you are.

It's a matter of considerable debate. There is no single factor that's known to cause homosexuality. Among possible contributions are genetics, family environment and brain configuration. It's easiest to say that we simply don't know yet.

No. The reason that this is a misconception is because sometimes people have not realized or considered their sexuality, and sometimes people can open their eyes to the possibility, however, this is not something that you should take upon yourself to try to do. It is not possible to turn someone gay.

It's admirable that you are trying to be more accepting and that you recognize this habit that may be hurting others. Learn more about LGBTQ+ people and realize that they are in many ways very similar to straight people. You can also consider apologizing when you accidentally slip up. The fact that you are trying to improve will cut you some slack with queer folk.