Q&A for How to Maintain a Friendship After a Kiss

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  • Question
    Can you go back to being friends after hooking up?
    Maria Avgitidis
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.
    Matchmaker & Dating Expert
    Expert Answer
    Before taking a break, discuss with your friend how it'll work. You might decide to not talk or hang out in person, but still text, or you may decide to take a break entirely. It's up to you.
  • Question
    What if you’ve realised the person you kissed was a player and you found out that he kissed someone else a little while after? But you’ve both haven’t interacted well since and you want to be best friends?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Good question. If you're genuinely dedicated to being friends, then the fact that your friend is a player might work to your benefit! In that case, they might think of kisses a little more casually then you do. Start a conversation and ask them how they feel (then, let them know how you feel). Then, decide on a way to proceed together.
  • Question
    What if both friends are engaged? Should they both tell their partner and apologize? Would it mean they really “like” each other and not their partner or can you be in love and kiss a friend mistakenly?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Hmmm...The question might not be "Can you kiss a friend when you're in love with your partner?" but rather, "Can you have an open, healthy relationship while you're keeping secrets?" Mistakes happen, and a lot of the time, partners are willing to forgive. But both of the friends should let their partners know and give them that chance.
  • Question
    What if you dated them before and now y'all are best friends (but you're trying not to ruin the friendship even more by kissing them)?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Tough situation! In this case, communication is key. If you two are committed to keeping your friendship, then you might want to set a boundary with this person ("I need to set a boundary. I don't want us to have a physical relationship any more").
  • Question
    What if he is my gay best friend and I am straight? I don't even know how to talk about this with him. I don't know if he's confused about his sexuality or not, but now I'm confused.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    That must be hard! Your friend might still be exploring their sexuality, or they may not be open about their sexuality just yet. If you know that your friend is comfortable talking about their sexuality with you, then you might be able to have a discussion. If you're not sure, it's better to let them start a conversation (because you don't want to make your friend feel pressured to discuss something personal that they don't want to discuss).
  • Question
    What if your best friend and your current boyfriend kiss 3 weeks before you two together? Shouldn’t your best friend tell you about it?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    In friendships, honesty is almost always the best possibly. If your friend didn't share that information with you, and that made you feel hurt, now's your chance to be honest with *them.* Reach out and let them know that you wish that they'd been more upfront.
  • Question
    What if you kissed without telling each other how you feel? How do you deal with that?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    It's tough, but your best bet is probably to try and initiate an honest conversation. That way, you both have opportunity to honestly express your emotions. Try asking your friend to talk with something like: "Hey, I've been thinking about that kiss, and I really think we should have conversation about it."
  • Question
    Won't the friends develop feelings for each other?
    TJohnson227
    Community Answer
    Not necessarily, but if it happens and both parties are single, it would be perfectly fine. There is nothing wrong with being friends before taking the next step, oftentimes those types of relationships work out even better.
  • Question
    What if your friend is married, you're both girls and you kiss? Can the friendship get messy? How do you fix things?
    Community Answer
    It's probably already messy. If you love your friend, you'll respect her marriage and will stop any sexual/romantic interactions. If you don't, you risk making a much bigger mess.
  • Question
    What if he wants to be more than friends?
    Community Answer
    If you're not interested, just politely tell him that. Let him know you'd still like to be friends. If he can't accept that, that's not your problem.
  • Question
    What if it's my best friends brother?
    Community Answer
    You can't help who you develop feelings for, so my advice is to tell your friend you like her/his brother. Honesty is the best policy after all.
  • Question
    What if I'm a girl, the friend is a girl, and I actually enjoyed the kiss?
    Community Answer
    That's great! If you'd like to be more than friends, tell her that. If she doesn't want to date you, try to stay friends with her and find another girl to be your girlfriend.
  • Question
    What if you want a friends-with-benefits situation? Should you bring it up?
    Community Answer
    Does it bother you? Would you like a clearer, more committed relationship? Then you should bring it up.
  • Question
    What if I have kissed with my "friend" several times, and then the fourth time she says that she just wants to be friends, but I have feelings for her?
    Community Answer
    You just have to accept that she doesn't want to kiss anymore. Don't try to pressure her to kiss you if she doesn't want to. Just tell yourself that this is a friendship now and nothing more. You have to respect her feelings.
  • Question
    What if neither of us talked about the kiss afterwards?
    Community Answer
    You have two options: Follow their lead and pretend it never happened, or bring it up and talk to them about the kiss.
  • Question
    What if we were both high and did not think this would happen?
    Community Answer
    Just talk to them about it afterwards when you are both sober. Tell them how you feel about the kiss, and make sure you're on the same page. If it was a one-time thing and you just want to be friends, nothing more, tell them that, and I'm sure they'll understand.
  • Question
    What if she Is shy but doesn't want to talk about it, and I want us to be close friends again?
    Mb_78c8506b5f18
    Community Answer
    Do it by text or take her to a private place and tell her that it's okay.
  • Question
    I kissed a friend in front of other friends. Now he thinks I've forgotten about it and am simply not talking about it. What should I do?
    Tom Jones
    Community Answer
    If you're okay with not talking about it, you don't have to do anything. However, if it makes you uncomfortable, you can always ask him about it and work it out from there.
  • Question
    If a guy likes a girl from the beginning (love at first sight), kisses her and then decides to "friend" her because he's not ready, can the feelings come back?
    Community Answer
    It's definitely possible, but don't count on it.
  • Question
    What if I kissed with my best friend, knowing I'm in a relationship, and actually enjoyed that kiss and wanted more?
    Community Answer
    You need to talk about this with your friend and your significant other. It may be best to gather those two people into the room and all have a discussion. You could ask for both persons consent and have a polyamorous relationship. Another option would to stay with your significant other and not pursue anything further. Or you could dump your significant other for your best friend (but there's a chance that will not end well for you and other people involved). Either way, I suggest telling your significant other that you kissed your best friend, as honesty in a relationship is vital.
  • Question
    What if we were drunk and he asked if I would kiss him "as a friend" and went for it, and we haven't talked about it and you feel like there's this weird tension between you two?
    Community Answer
    If you're feeling this "weird tension", you could try to tell your friend how you are feeling after the kiss and have a discussion about it. If he/both of you are feeling this weird tension, then you should probably have a talk about how you are going to go about your friendship from now on.
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