Q&A for How to Make People Want to Be Around You

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  • Question
    How can I be more approachable?
    Maureen Taylor
    Communications Coach
    Maureen Taylor is the CEO and Founder of SNP Communications, a leadership communications company based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has been helping leaders, founders, and innovators in all sectors hone their messaging and delivery for almost 30 years, and has worked with leaders and teams at Google, Facebook, Airbnb, SAP, Salesforce, and Spotify.
    Communications Coach
    Expert Answer
    Let people know that you're willing to help them out if they ever need it. Then, when people come to you, actually listen to them and follow through on your promise. People will keep coming to you if you do that.
  • Question
    How can I make someone talk to me without talking to them first?
    Community Answer
    Look at them. Eye contact is the first sign of interest. If they see you looking at them, they will know that you are interested. Also, make yourself look approachable. If you are staring down at your phone or a book, or listening to music all the time, nobody will try to talk to you. They will think you are socially awkward or that you don't want to talk to anyone in the room.
  • Question
    How do I start hanging out with a group that I barely know?
    Community Answer
    Work on befriending one person in the group, and then ask him to introduce you to the rest of the group. When you're with them, act friendly and relaxed. When they are talking, make eye contact with them so you seem interested in what they are saying.
  • Question
    How do I get into the popular group?
    Community Answer
    If the popular group includes nice and friendly people, then just become good friends with a person from the popular group and then they can introduce you to the other people. In my opinion, popularity doesn't matter but good friendship does so if the people in the popular group are gossipers, leave them alone and find better friends.
  • Question
    How do I become popular?
    Community Answer
    Expand your horizons and get out of your comfort zone. Wear flattering clothes, be nice, smile a lot, and talk to people. Talk about the new gossip and hang out with different groups of people.
  • Question
    How can I stop myself from thinking that people are avoiding me? And how can I get them to want to spend more time with me?
    Community Answer
    Just be positive and look at your bright side, like what are you good at and are you a very nice person? If you want to make them spend more time with you all you have to do is to spend more time with them by talking to them and hanging out with them. That way they will know that you're a good person and will want to hang out with you.
  • Question
    How do I make new friends?
    Community Answer
    Talk to new people. Chat with your classmates before class starts, try sitting with a new group at lunch, etc. Try to make friends with people you know you have something in common with. Joining clubs can be a good way to meet people with similar interests.
  • Question
    I have a friend and I feel she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. When I see her with someone else I feel jealous and lonely, but it is hard for me to talk to her. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    It's never easy, but talk to her and find out what's going on. Maybe you offended her without knowing it, or maybe she's just trying to make some new friends. If that's the case, make some new friends yourself.
  • Question
    How do I hang out with someone I like without dating them?
    Community Answer
    If you like the person, then maybe ask him/her out after you know each other better. However, you don't always have to be dating. You could just be friends.
  • Question
    How can I make someone in my class to be interested in me with whom I have never talked?
    Community Answer
    First of all be friendly and approachable. Try to start a conversation. Talk about your views, get to know that person better, and deepen your relationship with the person gradually.
  • Question
    What do I do if someone doesn't want to hang out with me outside of school?
    Community Answer
    Respect their choice. You can't be close friends with everybody. Maybe this person is just busy and doesn't have time for a new friendship right now, maybe there's something going on at home, or maybe they just don't feel like they really click with you. Just accept that they don't want to get any closer and move on.
  • Question
    What should I do if the people I am mingling with don't seem interested in me even when I am being energetic and positive?
    Community Answer
    Whenever I'm around people, I ask them about themselves, and that seems to get them a little more interested in the conversation. Also, don't make assumptions; they could be enjoying what you have to say and just not showing it!
  • Question
    What can I do if nobody really likes me because I'm bad at speaking the country's language?
    Community Answer
    Smile at the right time, contribute to class discussions on a moderate level, say hi to people with a smile, become funny in your reactions during class, and be yourself.
  • Question
    What should I do if I ask a friend a question and she doesn't even look me in the eye, answering to someone else?
    Community Answer
    Try to ask the question again when she can hear you. Maybe she just did not hear you. If she still does not talk about it when she can clearly hear you, try asking her why she did not answer later.
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