Q&A for How to Stop Thinking About Scary Things

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What if I can't expose myself to my fears, or see anyone (therapist, friends, family, etc.)?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Try challenging your fears by yourself first. Get a self help book from your library or online. You could also try doing therapy online anonymously through a site like Talkspace or Betterhelp.

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Question

What do I do when I am scared of a real event?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Try to figure out what specifically scares you about the event and address it directly. Sometimes we make mountains out of molehills. It's possible that you're blowing the consequences of the event out of proportion. Rarely does a single event have major consequences. When you think of the worst-case scenario, ask yourself "So what?"

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Question

Why do I have scary thoughts?

Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT
Licensed Therapist
Samantha Fox is a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in New York, New York. With over a decade of experience, Samantha specializes in relationship, sexuality, identity, and family conflicts. She also advises on life transitions for individuals, couples, and families. She holds both a Master’s degree and a Marriage and Family Therapy License. Samantha is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Narrative Therapy.

Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT

Licensed Therapist

Expert Answer

Connect to the part of you that's constantly thinking about scary things. Find it in or around your body. Then, see what this part of you wants to tell you. It's likely that a part of you feels you need these thoughts to protect you from being surprised or caught off guard when something scary happens, so it's keeping you in a hyper-vigilant and aware state to keep you ready.

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How can I let go of these fears?

Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT
Licensed Therapist
Samantha Fox is a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in New York, New York. With over a decade of experience, Samantha specializes in relationship, sexuality, identity, and family conflicts. She also advises on life transitions for individuals, couples, and families. She holds both a Master’s degree and a Marriage and Family Therapy License. Samantha is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Narrative Therapy.

Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT

Licensed Therapist

Expert Answer

Try thanking this part of you that's bringing up these scary thoughts—it's trying to protect you. Then, let it know that you have the tools you need to manage surprises and scary or upsetting things, and ask it to take a few steps back so you can be more present in the moment. That way, you won't miss all the time in life where there isn't anything scary or upsetting happening.

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