Q&A for How to Win Informal Arguments and Debates

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  • Question
    How do you gain confidence to speak in front of people?
    Lynn Kirkham
    Public Speaking Coach
    Lynn Kirkham is a Professional Public Speaker and Founder of Yes You Can Speak, a San Francisco Bay Area-based public speaking educational business empowering thousands of professionals to take command of whatever stage they've been given - from job interviews, boardroom talks to TEDx and large conference platforms. Lynn was chosen as the official TEDx Berkeley speaker coach for the last four years and has worked with executives at Google, Facebook, Intuit, Genentech, Intel, VMware, and others.
    Public Speaking Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try doing mirror work! It's really important for you to be able to see your own eyes in the mirror and like what you see. It's not about seeing your body or your face—it's about really connecting with your own eyes and saying things like I believe in you , I like you , and I appreciate you . Staying connected with your eyes for a couple of minutes can help change your nervous system.
  • Question
    What if it is an argument at home and the other person doesn't let me speak?
    Community Answer
    If the person is a control freak, then don't get into an argument. When you feel that you're not "allowed" to speak, then the person is authoritarian and difficult and is unlikely to ever listen or learn from you. The answer is to accept that an argument with such a person is pointless and your energies are better spent vaguely nodding and walking away to do what suits you best anyway, until you can get free of this argumentative family member from your life.
  • Question
    What do I do if my team members are not very good at debating and the opponents are very good?
    Community Answer
    They are your teammates for a reason. You can help them, whether that's helping them prepare before the debate or helping within the debate by responding to arguments and adding additional refutation-based support.
  • Question
    Can I ask questions in a debate?
    Community Answer
    Yes, questions can be a helpful tool in a debate to get your opponent to clarify a position or to challenge what he thinks.
  • Question
    What do I do if I know I'm wrong but I don't want to lose?
    Community Answer
    People will respect you for having the humility to admit that you're wrong. It takes a gracious, self-possessed person to acknowledge that the other person has better logic on his side.
  • Question
    What skills do I need to teach my team members?
    Community Answer
    Teach them enunciation, how to stand up straight and make eye contact, and how to use powerful words.
  • Question
    What if I have only have a short time to prepare?
    Community Answer
    As long as you understand what you have written, you can easily elaborate during the actual debate. That's why, regardless of time limit, you should always write arguments yourself. If you understand the general idea of what you want to say, you'll be fine.
  • Question
    What if my opponent is my uncle, and he's stubborn?
    Community Answer
    Don't ever argue on his terms, and use common sense examples.
  • Question
    Can the opposition counter the other group for each and every point if it is in a polite way, but aggressive?
    Community Answer
    Yes, it is in accordance with the rules.
  • Question
    Is it good or bad to be condescending in a professional debate competition?
    Community Answer
    Don't be condescending; it won't help you win, but you will succeed in making yourself very unlikable.
  • Question
    What happens if my position has little evidence to support it?
    Kyle Broflovski
    Community Answer
    You must work with what little evidence you have, but be sure not to lie or mislead your audience. Make sure the sources are valid too (most likely from books or sites marked with .net, .org, and .gov).
  • Question
    What do I have to do if I want to rebut someone?
    Kyle Broflovski
    Community Answer
    Whilst you are listening to your opposition speak, make mental notes. It is important that you rebut against what they have said, and not something irrelevant. Researching your opposition's side beforehand also helps. If you study their side as well, you should know what they will bring up in their own rebuttal, and you should be able to counter it excellently.
  • Question
    What should I do if I tend to agree with their answers?
    Community Answer
    You can concede the point. No one likes the person who is too stubborn to admit when the other person is right.
  • Question
    My teammates are very shy, quiet and useless and the opponent team is very good. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Teamwork makes the dream work, and you are not being a good teammate with that attitude. Try to help your teammates instead of calling them useless and giving up. Encourage them to try harder, coach them if they need it, believe in them and don't give up.
  • Question
    What if I don't know the answer to the question my opponent has asked?
    593C7R4L_5H1N081
    Community Answer
    Being humble and owning up to your lack of knowledge on a topic is much more commendable than trying your best to form an articulate response that warrants no merit at all. If you force yourself to reply to such questions, you will most likely embarrass or mislead yourself much more.
  • Question
    What if I'm arguing with my mom?
    Community Answer
    Be polite and respectful (even if she gets angry or upset). Calmly explain your side of the argument. If she doesn't change her mind, suggest that the two of you simply agree to disagree.
  • Question
    How do I start with debating?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    If you're still in school, many schools have debate teams. You may still be able to find debate clubs outside of school, too. Look for debate classes as well. You could also practice by debating almost anyone you come across, from friends and family to strangers online.
  • Question
    When you ask your opponents questions, do they have to answer?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    It's usually better for them to answer, since they will look bad if they don't respond. To get around this, they may try to talk without giving you a concrete response. Of course, they also don't have to answer, but that gives you an opportunity to attack their position.
  • Question
    What should be my counterattack if the opponent attacked me with satire words?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    Point out that it's satire and not an accurate representation of the truth. You can accuse your opponent of arguing in bad faith if they aren't giving you any legitimate points to work wtih.
  • Question
    A team winning most of the clashes does not necessarily mean they win the debate. Is that right?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    It's possible, but usually, if one side wins more individual arguments, they will end up winning the debate. It's about perception as well as points, if the debate happens to be scored.
  • Question
    How do I convince the other team I am right?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    Convincing people is very difficult, especially if they don't want to be convinced. Your best bet is to give your best, most convincing arguments with all the evidence you have. Don't belittle other people and be respectful toward them.
  • Question
    Will it help if I look at one person the whole time?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    If you're giving a debate in front of an audience, you are usually better off looking around the room. It may be a little awkward if you stare at one person. Turn toward your opponent while they are speaking, then sweep your gaze across the audience as you talk to them.
  • Question
    What do I do if I get speechless on stage?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    It's tough, but realize that talking in front of a crowd is challenging. Don't think too much about it or criticize yourself. Stop, take a deep breath, take a sip of water, then continue. Although debates are supposed to move quickly, you can still take some moments to collect your thoughts.
  • Question
    What if we don't have enough arguments?
    Brett Gilbert
    Top Answerer
    It's difficult to win when you don't have sufficient evidence. Take advantage of the arguments you have. Try to flesh them out and make them as convincing as possible.
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