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What It Means to Shut Down Emotionally & Why It Happens

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What to do when you dissociate and freeze your emotions

Co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: June 29, 2024 Fact Checked

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Shutting Down Emotionally Meaning

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Causes

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Healthy Ways to Cope

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What to Do When Someone Shuts Down

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Expert Interview

Have you ever felt distant from your emotions and caught yourself staring into space when you're stressed or worried? If so, you might have been shutting down emotionally. Also known as emotional numbing, this is a normal thing the body does to protect you. In this guide, we’ll teach you everything there is to know about emotional numbing, from what causes it to how to cope. We even spoke with Dr. Liana Georgoulis, a licensed clinical psychologist, to give you the best tips on how to communicate and respond if someone you know starts shutting down.

Things You Should Know

Emotional numbing is when you emotionally shut down or “freeze” in overwhelming situations.
You may shut down emotionally because you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or have experienced something traumatic.
Talk to a loved one, journal, take deep breaths, or move your body to cope with emotional numbing.

Section 1 of 4:

What does it mean to shut down emotionally?

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Shutting down emotionally is when you zone out during intense situations. Also known as emotional numbing, shutting down emotionally is a form of dissociation. For some, when the mind is overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, they subconsciously detach from the current moment to protect their emotional well-being. This can cause a lack of interest and indifference. Think of it like “freezing” the body and mind. ^{[1]
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- When you shut down emotionally, you’ll likely have dissociative symptoms, such as: ^{[2]
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  - Staring off into the distance
  - Feeling isolated or detached
  - Being less excited about hobbies and interests
  - Losing track of time
  - Denying situations and realities

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Section 2 of 4:

Why do people shut down emotionally?

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People shut down emotionally to cope with traumatic situations. When you dissociate or emotionally shut down, your body is likely protecting you. Dissociation is a natural response to trauma or fear that can’t be controlled and may be triggered by: ^{[3]
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Mind
U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.
Go to source}
- Ongoing trauma and/or abuse
- Stressful situations or experiences
- Anxiety, depression, or PTSD ^{[4]
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  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- Alcohol or medication

Section 3 of 4:

How do you cope with emotional numbness?

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Cope with emotional numbness with a support system and mindfulness. While shutting down emotionally is a normal response to trauma and intense situations, it’s not something you have to go through alone. There are plenty of healthy ways you can cope with dissociative symptoms and feel more connected with yourself. Try these coping mechanisms to feel more grounded:
- Connect with friends and family to create a strong support system.
- Go for a walk or move your body however you like.
- Practice mindfulness by meditating or journaling. ^{[5]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Mind
  U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.
  Go to source}
- Try grounding techniques, such as deep breathing and noticing 5 objects that are around you.
- Visualize a place where you feel safe and comforted. ^{[6]
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  Mind
  U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.
  Go to source}
- Ensure that you’re getting plenty of rest each night (ideally between 7 and 10 hours). ^{[7]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
  Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
  Go to source}
- Eat a healthy and balanced diet full of nutritious foods.
- Talk to a doctor or licensed therapist if you experience emotional numbness or dissociation for extended periods of time. ^{[8]
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Section 4 of 4:

What to Do When Someone Shuts Down

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As Dr. Liana Georgoulis, a licensed clinical psychologist, says “Don’t communicate if you’re overwhelmed and flooded with too much emotion.” Give yourself time to process and recover from the situation. Then, return to the conversation when you’re both ready. ^{[9]
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Even if you take a break from the conversation, that doesn’t mean your feelings have to go unheard. Jot down any thoughts you may have so you can bring them up later. ^{[10]
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Protect your mental health by reading, meditating , or going for a walk. This can help you relax and process your thoughts. ^{[11]
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It can be frustrating when someone you know shuts down, but remember, it’s an involuntary response. Remaining calm and patient will show just how much you care. ^{[12]
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When you return to the conversation, communicate clearly and efficiently . Georgoulis recommends “taking turns and hearing each other’s perspectives.” Use “I” statements to express your feelings, and avoid blaming or accusing them.
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6
Reset boundaries. If something was brought up that triggered a loved one to stonewall, or refuse to respond or communicate, set new boundaries . Ideally, agree to take a break if they feel overwhelmed or upset, then come back together to discuss the issue calmly and respectfully at a later point in time. ^{[13]
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- Emotional numbing and stonewalling are slightly different. Stonewalling is a tactic used to shut someone out during a fight or conflict, whereas emotional numbing is detaching yourself from a difficult situation or emotion.

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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about couples therapy, check out our in-depth interview with Liana Georgoulis, PsyD .

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About This Article

Co-authored by:

Liana Georgoulis, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

This article was co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano . Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Los Angeles, California. She is the founder and clinical director of Coast Psychological Services. With over 12 years of experience, her mission is to provide clients with effective, well-studied, and established treatments that bring about significant improvements in her patients' lives. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples. Additionally, she provides group therapy for social anxiety, social skills, and assertiveness training. Providing a space where clients feel understood and supported is essential to her work. Dr. Georgoulis also provides clinical supervision to post-doctoral fellows and psychological assistants. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles. This article has been viewed 22,158 times.

5 votes - 80%

Co-authors: 4

Updated: June 29, 2024

Views: 22,158

Categories: Psychological Health

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 22,158 times.

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