What It Means to Shut Down Emotionally & Why It Happens

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What to do when you dissociate and freeze your emotions
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Have you ever felt distant from your emotions and caught yourself staring into space when you're stressed or worried? If so, you might have been shutting down emotionally. Also known as emotional numbing, this is a normal thing the body does to protect you. In this guide, we’ll teach you everything there is to know about emotional numbing, from what causes it to how to cope. We even spoke with Dr. Liana Georgoulis, a licensed clinical psychologist, to give you the best tips on how to communicate and respond if someone you know starts shutting down.

Things You Should Know

  • Emotional numbing is when you emotionally shut down or “freeze” in overwhelming situations.
  • You may shut down emotionally because you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or have experienced something traumatic.
  • Talk to a loved one, journal, take deep breaths, or move your body to cope with emotional numbing.
Section 1 of 4:

What does it mean to shut down emotionally?

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  1. Also known as emotional numbing, shutting down emotionally is a form of dissociation. For some, when the mind is overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, they subconsciously detach from the current moment to protect their emotional well-being. This can cause a lack of interest and indifference. Think of it like “freezing” the body and mind. [1]
    • When you shut down emotionally, you’ll likely have dissociative symptoms, such as: [2]
      • Staring off into the distance
      • Feeling isolated or detached
      • Being less excited about hobbies and interests
      • Losing track of time
      • Denying situations and realities
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Section 2 of 4:

Why do people shut down emotionally?

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  1. When you dissociate or emotionally shut down, your body is likely protecting you. Dissociation is a natural response to trauma or fear that can’t be controlled and may be triggered by: [3]
    • Ongoing trauma and/or abuse
    • Stressful situations or experiences
    • Anxiety, depression, or PTSD [4]
    • Alcohol or medication
Section 3 of 4:

How do you cope with emotional numbness?

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  1. While shutting down emotionally is a normal response to trauma and intense situations, it’s not something you have to go through alone. There are plenty of healthy ways you can cope with dissociative symptoms and feel more connected with yourself. Try these coping mechanisms to feel more grounded:
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Section 4 of 4:

What to Do When Someone Shuts Down

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  1. As Dr. Liana Georgoulis, a licensed clinical psychologist, says “Don’t communicate if you’re overwhelmed and flooded with too much emotion.” Give yourself time to process and recover from the situation. Then, return to the conversation when you’re both ready. [9]
  2. Even if you take a break from the conversation, that doesn’t mean your feelings have to go unheard. Jot down any thoughts you may have so you can bring them up later. [10]
  3. Protect your mental health by reading, meditating , or going for a walk. This can help you relax and process your thoughts. [11]
  4. It can be frustrating when someone you know shuts down, but remember, it’s an involuntary response. Remaining calm and patient will show just how much you care. [12]
  5. When you return to the conversation, communicate clearly and efficiently . Georgoulis recommends “taking turns and hearing each other’s perspectives.” Use “I” statements to express your feelings, and avoid blaming or accusing them.
  6. If something was brought up that triggered a loved one to stonewall, or refuse to respond or communicate, set new boundaries . Ideally, agree to take a break if they feel overwhelmed or upset, then come back together to discuss the issue calmly and respectfully at a later point in time. [13]
    • Emotional numbing and stonewalling are slightly different. Stonewalling is a tactic used to shut someone out during a fight or conflict, whereas emotional numbing is detaching yourself from a difficult situation or emotion.
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      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about couples therapy, check out our in-depth interview with Liana Georgoulis, PsyD .

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.ptsduk.org/emotional-numbness/
      2. ↑ https://www.ptsduk.org/emotional-numbness/
      3. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/about-dissociation/
      4. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35945274/
      5. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/coping-with-dissociation/
      6. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/coping-with-dissociation/
      7. ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about/
      8. ↑ https://www.ptsduk.org/emotional-numbness/
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201809/does-your-partner-shut-down-during-arguments
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201809/does-your-partner-shut-down-during-arguments
      2. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/stonewalling-vs-the-silent-treatment-are-they-the-same/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201809/does-your-partner-shut-down-during-arguments
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201809/does-your-partner-shut-down-during-arguments

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