How to Stay in a Long Distance Relationship When You're a Teenager

Co-authored by Connell Barrett and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: August 4, 2024 Approved

Long-distance relationships can be challenging for teenagers. However, practicing communication, trust, and honesty will make them fun and rewarding instead! Your teenage years can feel like a crazy ride, and having a significant other to support you along the way is worth dealing with the distance. Here, we'll show you how to stay in a long-distance relationship as a teenager.

1

Set clear expectations for the relationship.

Download Article

Tell your significant other what you want and listen to their needs. If you're going to be exclusive, make that clear from the start. Talk about how you can meet each other's needs and how your future together might look. You'll know that the relationship is worth your time and effort if you're both on the same page! ^{[1]
X
Research source}
- "I want to give this relationship a shot, but it's important to me that we stay committed and exclusive. Can we do that?"
- "I'd like to have a weekly date night. Does that work for you?"
- Make a list of pros and cons to help you sort out your thoughts. Talking to your significant other is easier when you make a plan first.

2

Schedule your phone chats.

Download Article

Even if life gets busy, you'll have a plan to talk often. Communication is key for any relationship, so agree on a schedule and decide whether you'll use phone calls, messaging apps, or other platforms to keep in touch. Chat with your significant other about everything, from the little details of your day to your deepest feelings. ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- You don't need to talk every day or specify exact times. Just make sure you feel good about how often you're talking, and you know which days you're both free.
- Make sure that you're putting in equal effort to stay in touch. Your significant other shouldn't do all the work, and neither should you.
- Be careful about calling or texting too much. The distance can make you feel like you should talk all the time, but sticking to a schedule is easier.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1394 wikiHow readers how they’re most likely to get to know their long-distance partner, and only 9% said by imagining being my partner . [Take Poll] Instead, scheduling time to talk can be a more effective way to connect with your significant other.

3

Discover your shared interests.

Download Article

Build a strong relationship by finding activities you can do together. Whether you exercise regularly, schedule study time for a favorite subject, or read the same book together, you'll enjoy having something in common with your significant other. Plus, with shared interests, you'll never run out of things to talk about. ^{[3]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- If you both love music, share playlists and get to know each other's taste in music a little better!
- If you're both gaming fans, find an online game that you can play together.
- You could pick a hobby you both want to learn, like a sport or a new language, and try it out together.

4

Plan virtual dates.

Download Article

Find creative ways to hang out and spend quality time together. Try having a movie night while on the phone or going out for a FaceTime smoothie date. You could even go shopping or go for a walk while on a video call. If you're flexible and clever about coming up with date ideas, you can easily have fun together. ^{[4]
X
Research source}
- A weekly TV show is perfect for setting up consistent date nights. Stay on the phone while watching together, or text your reactions.
- Exchange recipes for date night dinners. You can cook together while video calling and share a romantic meal from miles apart.

5

Find new ways to stay in touch.

Download Article

Using the same messaging or video call apps can get repetitive. Spread out communication over a few different platforms to keep it fun and engaging for both of you. Phone calls are still great for regular chats, but you can also use apps like Snapchat and WhatsApp, or even a gaming app like Words With Friends. ^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Think about adding variety to your texts. Send lots of pictures, GIFs, and audio memos alongside regular messages.
- If you both have apps like Tumblr, Instagram, or Reddit, you can take turns sending each other funny memes and entertaining posts.

6

Build your trust in each other.

Download Article

Trust is critical, especially when you can't see one another face-to-face. It's natural to feel jealous when you care for someone, but that doesn't mean you should act on your feelings. Be consistent, honest, and enthusiastic instead. Learn to trust them so you can feel comfortable about your relationship, even from far away. ^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Show consistency by calling when you say you will and showing up for virtual dates!
- Always tell them the truth. If you say you're spending time with family and they discover you partied with friends, they may question your trustworthiness.
Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

Trust can be hard to build, but it's an essential part of any healthy relationship. "Trust is the active engagement with the unknown. Trust is risky. It’s vulnerable. It’s a leap of faith."

7

Talk about your worries openly.

Download Article

Your significant other can help you deal with jealousy or concerns. It's tempting to bottle those feelings up, but you'll feel better once you've told your significant other about them. Encourage them to come to you with concerns too. The more you talk, the stronger your relationship will get. ^{[7]
X
Research source}
- When you're jealous, tell them how you feel instead of getting angry. "Can we talk? I feel lonely and left out when you reschedule our phone calls to hang out with friends."

8

Give them small gifts.

Download Article

Go the extra mile to show how much you care. Once in a while, take the time to mail a handwritten letter or an old picture of you two. Give them something personal that will remind them of you! Simple and heartfelt gestures will deepen the connection between you and your significant other. ^{[8]
X
Research source}
- If you have artistic skills, you could send them a drawing, song, or poem that you wrote.
- Send a care package with their favorite snack—or, if you can bake something yourself, send a homemade treat instead.

9

Support one another through good and bad.

Download Article

Make sure they're comfortable talking to you about anything. A good partner wants to hear about everything in the other's life, whether they're celebrating a college acceptance or dealing with a parent's divorce. Actively listen when they confide in you. Teenage years are a rollercoaster, but you can support one another through it all. ^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Make sure there's a healthy amount of giving and taking between you. It isn't fair if one of you is doing all the listening and one is doing all the talking. Both of you should feel loved and supported!
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Being young often means facing a lot of unknowns. As you both mature and learn more about yourselves, your dreams and goals may evolve or create friction. Stay open to the idea that your plans may change, and be flexible as you navigate life's twists and turns together.

10

Enjoy your time apart.

Download Article

It's important to keep your independence while dating someone. Being in a long-distance relationship is great, but you should feel comfortable doing your own thing. Hang with friends, work hard in school, and enjoy your hobbies. The distance between you can be a good thing because it gives you space to live your own life. ^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Keep your relationships with family and friends strong. It's good to have other confidantes besides your significant other!
- Let your friends know that you're in a relationship. Your parents should also know, but you may feel more comfortable telling friends first.

11

Plan out your next in-person meeting.

Download Article

Set a reunion goal and give yourselves something to look forward to. There is always the expectation in long-distance relationships that you'll see each other face-to-face once day! You might have to wait, especially if you don't have your own car, but you can make plans and save up for the big day. ^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Make sure you talk about which of you is doing the traveling or where you'll both meet up.
- If you need to save up money for travel, set reasonable goals and make a budget to find out exactly how much you need.
- Meet up in person when you can, but don't be discouraged if you're too far apart or busy to meet as often as you want.

12

Rethink your goals after a while.

Download Article

Be honest when your relationship plans change. As a teenager, you're still figuring out what you want in life—and it's totally normal to change your mind. You might have new expectations for your relationship months or years after it begins, so make sure you talk to your partner about any developments. ^{[12]
X
Trustworthy Source
Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
Go to source}
- For example, if you're planning to go away to college, talk to your significant other about how that might affect the relationship.
- You might decide you want to text less and call more or change your FaceTime schedule. Tell your significant other so you can work together to make changes.
- Teens dating long-distance have the exciting chance to learn and grow together. Respect your partner's needs and be honest about yours so you can overcome challenges together!

Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.

You’ve read the article, now get personalized advice with wikiHow Quizzes. Each quiz is carefully researched and even endorsed by experts. Have fun and get the expert advice you need!

1

Compatibility Test

2

Should We Break Up Quiz

3

Is He the One Quiz

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Question

How do you maintain a long distance relationship when you're in high school?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Make sure you set aside some time to talk to each other on a regular basis. Some fun things you can do include talking on the phone, setting up a video chat, or watching a movie together at the same time.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 4 Helpful 22

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Reader Videos

Submit a Video Tip!

Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!

Submit a Video

Tips

Many people will tell you that it won't work out, but don't let those words affect your relationship. Only you and your partner can determine if it works or not.

Thanks
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
Trust is essential in any relationship, even more so when you aren't physically together. If you two can't trust one another, the relationship won't work, whatever the distance.

Thanks
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1

Submit a Tip

All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published

Name

Please provide your name and last initial

Submit

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

[1]

[2]

[3]

Trustworthy Source

Go to source

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

Log in

How to Stay in a Long Distance Relationship When You're a Teenager

Steps

Set clear expectations for the relationship.

Schedule your phone chats.

Discover your shared interests.

Plan virtual dates.

Find new ways to stay in touch.

Build your trust in each other.

Talk about your worries openly.

Give them small gifts.

Support one another through good and bad.

Enjoy your time apart.

Plan out your next in-person meeting.

Rethink your goals after a while.

Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.

Expert Q&A

Reader Videos

Tips

You Might Also Like

References

About This Article

Reader Success Stories

Did this article help you?

Quizzes

You Might Also Like

Featured Articles

Trending Articles

Featured Articles

Featured Articles

Watch Articles

Trending Articles

Quizzes

Explore Categories