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Sometimes it's hard to know for certain if you really like a guy--maybe he's a close friend; maybe he's someone who is off-limits, like your friend's older brother; or maybe you think a guy is super hot but you don't know if there's more to it than that. Luckily, our bodies and brains will act in specific ways when we're attracted to someone. Paying attention to these signs may be the key to finding out if you like him or if you like like him.
Steps
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Feel if your heart starts pounding when he's around. The poets were right--when you see someone you like, your pulse will start racing and you might feel like your heart is about to jump out of your chest. Being near that certain someone causes an adrenaline rush, almost like you've been running sprints.
- A higher heart-rate might make someone you're not that into seem more attractive, too. If you think you're crushing on that guy in 5th period gym but you don't know why, it might be because the adrenaline rush and not the guy.
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Notice if being near him gives you butterflies in your stomach. If you like him your tummy may get a fluttery, nervous feeling. You may even feel sick! That's because your body is releasing tons of hormones that shrink the blood vessels in your stomach. The lack of blood in your vessels can make you feel queasy. [1] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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See if your palms get sweaty when you talk to him. The same chemicals that get your heart racing will also throw your sweat glands into overdrive, even if you're in an air-conditioned room. Your palms and underarms especially will start to sweat. It might be a little embarrassing, but it's a sure sign you really like someone.
- Guys may have this problem even worse than girls, so if you notice him sweating around you or if he touches you and his palm is sweaty, don't be grossed out! It probably means he likes you.
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Start a conversation with him and listen for any change in your voice, especially if it becomes high-pitched. If your words come out as a squeak when you try to talk to him, or if every time you're chatting with your friends and he walks by your voice suddenly becomes super high-pitched, it might be a sign you're crushing.
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Check your body language to see if you mirror his actions when you're hanging out. You don't do it consciously, but when you are attracted to someone, you will often copy what they're doing. So, when he touches his cheek, you touch your cheek; when he runs his hand through his hair, you do the same.
- Mirroring someone's actions can actually make you seem more attractive in their eyes. So don't worry too much about being a copy cat--it works in your favor!
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Quiz
wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have a Crush?
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Consider how much time you spend thinking about him. If you like a guy, he's always on your mind--you're constantly gazing at his Facebook, you're doodling his name on your homework, you might even be dreaming about him. When you're attracted to someone, your brain has lower levels of a hormone called serotonin, which is common in people with obsessive compulsive disorder. So it's no surprise that if you like a guy, you have trouble concentrating on anything else. [2] X Research source
- When you've got a crush, your brain will also release oxytocin, which can make you extra forgetful. This makes it even harder to focus on homework, sports, friends--anything other than your crush! [3] X Research source
- If you can't stop thinking about him, you may also find you can't stop talking about him. If your friends call you out on always finding a way to work his name into a conversation, it may be a sign you've got a crush.
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Spend some time apart and notice if you're counting the minutes to when you'll see him again. After spending time with a guy you like, you'll just want more--you suddenly can't wait to get to school every day, you change your path through the halls to pass his locker--anything just to get a little more time together. Being around him activates the reward center of your brain, and you may begin craving that experience over and over again. [4] X Research source
- Though you might be craving time with him, don't let this feeling lead you to do things that might cross the line from cute to scary. Don't show up at his house uninvited or start playing hockey just because he's the goalie. Just know that if you are always excited to see him, it means you really like him.
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See how you react when he spends time with another girl. If you notice another girl flirting with him and your blood starts to boil--why is he talking to her? does he like her? did she just touch his arm?!--your feelings of jealousy may mean you like him. But if you only notice him when he's with someone else, then you may just be feeling competitive, and be more interested in winning than actually dating him. [5] X Research source
- Take your jealousy as a sign that you like this guy and don't let it go any further. If you get in another girl's face for talking to him, it makes you seem possessive and insecure.
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Notice if you idealize him as the perfect person. When you're into a guy, everything he does starts to seem amazing. He's nice, funny, smart, handsome--there's nothing wrong with this guy! Experts call this the "halo effect"--because to you, he's pretty much an angel. If you think he's cute, you're probably going to think everything else about him is great, too. [6] X Research source
- If you laugh at all his jokes or think everything he says is genius, or you think he's an amazing guitar player (even though he only started playing last week), it's a sign you really like him.
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Ask a trusted friend what they think. Find that person you know will be real with you, and ask their opinion. Often when we're in crush-mode we can't get a good perspective on the situation. Your friend may be seeing something you don't, and could save you a lot of heartache, or she could give you the extra push you need to make a move and ask him out.
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Back off if he's already taken. Guys who are already in relationships are sometimes extra attractive to single girls. It may be because one girl has already given him her approval as boyfriend material, so you know he probably has good qualities. [7] X Research source
- You may feel competitive with the other girl, or you may get a temporary self-esteem boost from stealing someone else's guy.
- Let their relationship run its course and only pursue the guy when he's single.
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Think about whether or not you are really compatible. Does he spend all weekend in a dark room playing video games while you prefer to be out hiking and camping in your free time? Do you have similar values? Being different doesn't have to be a deal breaker--you may end up really complimenting each other and learning about things you never knew you liked. [8] X Research source
- Consider if your differences can be worked through. If part of his personality is that he's a huge flirt and that makes you uncomfortable, it might lead to major problems down the road.
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Trust your instincts and don't overthink it. Ultimately, it's up to you to figure out whether or not you like this guy--you know yourself better than anyone else. Don't make yourself crazy or miserable trying to figure it out.
- When you feel something as intense as a crush, it can seem like the most important thing in the world. But remember there's more to life than this one guy--don't forget about your friends, your schoolwork, your family, or that there are tons of other guys out there!
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I stop falling for every guy I meet?Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.It's likely that you're projecting all of your hopes and desires for love on to these guys, which isn't a particularly healthy thing to do. One way to stop yourself is to realize when you're fantasizing and sort of pull yourself back into reality. If you can start recognizing when you're going a little off of the rails in your head, you'll have a much easier time assessing whether your feelings are valid or not.
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References
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/pulse/your-chemical-romance-how-love-connection-can-change-your-bodys-chemistry-325356
- ↑ http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140206155244.htm
- ↑ http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/effects-of-love
- ↑ http://www.livescience.com/18430-falling-love-brain.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200607/jealousy-voice-possessiveness-past
- ↑ http://psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/f/halo-effect.htm
- ↑ http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17619-its-true-all-the-taken-men-are-best.html#.VSWY45TF9K-
- ↑ https://selfgrowth.com/articles/Fundamentals_of_a_Successful_Relationship_A_Marriage_Counselors_Perspective.html
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