Why can't I get a girlfriend?

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This post was sourced from submitted reader questions and posted by wikiHow Editorial Staff.

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05/13/25 5:06pm
There isn’t usually a single, specific reason why someone can't get a girlfriend. Dating can be tough, and it can take a while to find your perfect match. However, if you’re looking for factors that might be contributing to the situation, here are some possibilities:
  • Lack of confidence. If you struggle with self esteem, it might be harder for you to make connections with girls in social situations.
  • Not going on enough dates. Romantic compatibility can be pretty rare, so you might need to go on quite a few first dates to find someone you click with long-term.
  • Focusing on yourself too much. It’s natural to think you’d need to show off your personality to your date, but in doing this, you might be talking about yourself a little too much, which could make it harder to build a connection and score a second date.
  • Fear of rejection. Getting a girlfriend requires vulnerability—you need to put yourself out there and tell a girl how you actually feel about her. If you’re hesitant to be open and honest about your feelings, it could take a longer time to get a girlfriend.
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