Am I in Love with My Best Friend?

Signs You're More Than Just Friends

You get very jealous when your bestie starts dating. It’s totally normal to feel a little jealous no matter what—it’s never fun to feel like you’re losing your friend to someone else. However, when you have feelings for your BFF, you’ll likely feel more than a little jealous. It might even hurt just to see them together or think about them being a couple while the two of you aren’t.

You accidentally flirt with them all the time. Best friends often flirt playfully with one another for fun—but if you have feelings for your bestie, you’ll likely catch yourself flirting even when you didn’t mean to! For example, you might find yourself making prolonged eye contact with them, teasing them, giving them sweet compliments, and being extra touchy-feely whenever you get the chance.

You fantasize about them in private. When you’re in love with your best friend (or at least infatuated with them), you may catch yourself dreaming about what physical intimacy with them might be like—all the time.

Physical affection from them feels different. Friends give each other hugs or friendly touches all the time—but if you’re in love with your best friend, you may find yourself reacting much differently to their touches than any other friend’s. When your bestie touches you, it may feel like your entire body has a reaction to it: your stomach flutters, your heart skips a beat, your face heats up, and so on.

You aren’t interested in dating unless you can date them. One surefire sign that you have feeling for your bestie is a total lack of interest in seeing anybody else. If you’re open to dating other people, it’s less likely you’re in love—but if the thought of being with anyone else is completely unappealing, you likely feel strongly about your BFF.

You pay more attention to them than anyone else. As best friends, you’re probably already super close. But when you fall in love with your best friend, it can feel like they’re on your mind every waking moment! You think about them constantly, want to spend all your time with them, and when you’re together, you’re glued to their side. You might also suddenly start worrying about appearances (looking good and impressing them) when previously it wasn't a concern.

What Should I Do If I’m in Love with My Best Friend?

Tell them honestly how you feel. At the end of the day, it’s always better to be honest than keep secrets indefinitely. Confessing your love for someone is daunting, there’s no doubt about it, and there’s no guarantee on how they’ll react—but more often than not, the possibility of getting to have a real relationship with them is worth the risk.

Even if you don’t think they’ll feel the same, it’s worth expressing your feelings to them. You don’t have to pour your heart out entirely; just tell them that you’ve been having romantic thoughts that include them. Secrets can really affect friendships, even if your BFF doesn’t know what you’re hiding from them, which is why the healthiest thing to do is gently let them know how you feel.

Whatever you do, try to reveal your feelings gradually rather than bombarding your bestie. Take it one step at a time—bring up the topic and explain how you feel, then tell your BFF more when they come to you, and they’re ready to hear it.

Find creative ways to express your feelings. You could write them a sweet note, for example, or take a playful love tester quiz with them before telling them how you feel. In fact, writing about your feelings might help you express them better—and give you the courage you need to hand your BFF the note. At the end of the day, though, a simple confession (somewhere private, so there’s no social pressure on either of you) is just as meaningful!

Let them know how much you value the friendship. No matter how you confess your feelings to your best friend, it’s also important to reiterate how important the friendship is to you. After all, whether or not you end up dating your bestie, you still want to remain best friends forever! Tell them that no matter what happens, you value what the two of you already have more than anything.

Be prepared for their reaction no matter what. If you decide to tell your BFF how you feel, it’s important to approach them without any expectations. They might feel the same way, or they might not—and though it’s never easy to find out your love is unrequited, remind yourself that it’ll be okay no matter what. Either things will work out between you, which is amazing, or you’ll stay best friends…and, after giving yourself some time to heal and get over them, you’ll be able to find a romantic relationship with someone else.