How to Ask Someone out if You're Shy

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Everyone gets nervous when asking out someone they're interested in. Yet, while everyone goes through it, it can take a little more effort if you're shy. But it is perfectly possible to manage your shyness enough to be able to pluck up the nerve and ask that special someone out. Get ready to give it a try!

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Preparing Yourself

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f7\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f7\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-1.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Focus on the three key things that make a difference: hygiene and style, plus a smile. Be clean, dress well, wear comfortable and well maintained clothes, and always remember to smile. Smiling can automatically make you more relatable and radiant. [1]
    • Make sure to brush your teeth or use mouthwash. Bad breath is a real turnoff.
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/08\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-2.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    There is nothing quite so helpful as rehearsal; preparing your mind helps you to feel familiar with the situation. And when you have a speech prepared, it will go a lot better. If you don't practice you may blurt out: 'ummm er wanna...go out...with, umm...let's date' or something silly like that. Keep practicing until it feels natural, or at least okay. Practice conversation starters such as:
    • ”Hey, how is your day going?”
    • "Hey, you're Greg’s friend aren't you?”
    • “Do you want to hang out sometime?"
    • ”Would you like to go to dinner or grab a coffee sometime?”
    Advertisement
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/a7\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/a7\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-3.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Confidence is important in any human interaction, but especially when asking someone out. Having confidence can help stop any stress or nervousness that might come up. Breathe deeply and focus on yourself overcoming your shyness. [2]
    4. Advertisement
Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Attracting Attention

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2d\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-4.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Look for a time to ask the special someone out when it is not too noisy or hectic (Crossing a busy street, standing in line at a crowded restaurant). Also don’t be somewhere quiet enough to get other people's attention and make the situation uncomfortable.
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/56\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/56\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-5.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You may not want to ask anyone out when they are with friends. They may get shy and it could turn into an uncomfortable moment. Being alone will also let you stay focused on the person you are trying to talk to without any interference from others.
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e0\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Don't stare, just give a sweet, cute smile and when they look at you, look for a bit then quickly look away. See if you get eye contact or a smile back. If so, that is a great sign that they may be interested in you. [3]
    4. Advertisement
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Asking Someone Out

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/ce\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-7.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-7.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/ce\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-7.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-7.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    When they're sitting alone just sit next to them and eventually start a general chat. If it is someone you have never talked to before, start off a conversation with “Hey, do you mind if I join you?” If you're already acquaintances, ask them casual things such as "Hey, How are you?.... How have things been?”
  2. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/5e\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-8.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-8.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/5e\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-8.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-8.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Bring up your current location or the occasion (if it is at a party or meeting) you are attending to keep the conversation from getting too stale. [4] Also, try to find a common interest that you share with the person to talk about in greater detail. Examples could be:
    • Entertainment
    • Travel
    • Reading
    • Art
    • School
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/a\/ad\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-9.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Keep your head held high. Be proud of yourself at all times. If you blush, or your shyness comes up in conversation, embrace it. Do not be embarrassed, but casually joke about it or speak about it lightheartedly. [5]
    • Understand that if you make a mistake or stumble on your words then the other person probably won’t notice or care. [6]
  4. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/d\/de\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/d\/de\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-10.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Once you have established a conversation that you think is going well, close out by asking the person on a date. Look them in the eye and use the lines you rehearsed to be clear and confident with your question. Start off small and ask them out to a movie, dinner or cup of coffee.
    • Make sure to exchange contact information and be clear on the time and place where the date will occur.
  5. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/4\/47\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-11-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/4\/47\/Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-11-Version-2.jpg\/aid873333-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-out-if-You%27re-Shy-Step-11-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you get rejected, understand that rejection is a common thing that happens to everyone. The most important thing is to learn from the rejection and continue to try your luck elsewhere. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be with the person you liked. But you did get over your shyness and asked them out! That confirms that you can do again.
    6. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      • Don't talk too much, or he'll/she'll get annoyed and not listen depending on the person.
        Thanks
        Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
      • Make sure that you're not being over the top with your appearance. Believe it or not, the majority of people actually prefer the natural look. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin; it'll help people feel more comfortable around you.
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      • Wear attractive scents, but do not go overboard. Guys: Aftershave. Girls: Impulse/perfume
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      Show More Tips
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      Warnings

      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Talk to Your Crush Even Though You Are Shy
      How to
      Overcome Shyness
      How to
      Stop Being Shy in a Relationship
      How to
      Ask Someone Out in Person or over Text
      How to
      Get a Date
      How to
      Ask a Guy out (if You're a Girl)
      How to
      Get a Girlfriend
      How to
      Ask a Girl Out
      How to
      Select and Meet an Escort
      How to
      Get a Boyfriend
      How to
      Turn a Girl on With Words
      How to
      Get a Guy to Like You
      How to
      Look Attractive (Guys)
      How to
      Attract Girls
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/how-to-stop-being-shy/
      2. ↑ http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/how-to-stop-being-shy/
      3. ↑ https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/life/features/are-you-too-shy-to-ask-someone-out-heres-15-easy-ways-to-beat-social-anxiety-31122084.html
      4. ↑ http://lifehacker.com/how-i-got-over-being-shy-and-embraced-talking-to-people-1692295385
      5. ↑ https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/13-confident-ways-to-overcome-your-shyness.html
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/dealing-with-loneliness-and-shyness.htm

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 184,037 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Jada Lowe

        Mar 2, 2017

        "The part that I learned from it is don't trust a friend to ask someone out for you, and that gave me even more ..." more
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement