How to Ask Your Crush Out on Instagram

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If you’ve been crushing on someone for a while, you’re probably dying to ask them out. Making a move over Instagram can be a little less nerve-wracking than trying to ask them in person. But how exactly do you flirt over social media? With these tips, tricks, and smooth DM examples, you can let your crush know that you like them and want to hang out IRL.

Question 1 of 5:

How do you get your crush’s attention on Instagram?

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    Try to like 4 or 5 of their photos so they know it’s intentional. If your crush likes a few of your photos back, it’s a good sign that they might be interested. [1]
    • People with a lot of followers might not notice that you liked multiple photos. If they have more than 10k, don’t get offended if they don’t like your pics back.
    • This is a nice way to get someone’s attention, but it doesn’t send a clear message! Make sure you follow up with a comment or a DM too.
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    Find an interesting looking photo and comment something about it. Keep it cool and casual to let your crush know that you’re thinking about them without being too overbearing. For example: [2]
    • “You guys look great here. Where was this taken?”
    • “OMG, was this from the school trip last year?”
    • “I really like this photo. You’re a great photographer!”
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Question 2 of 5:

How do you start a conversation with your crush?

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    When you’re ready to slide into their DMs, try responding to a story they post. Don’t just use an emoji reaction; instead, try to say something like: [3]
    • “Whoa, that food looks good! What restaurant is that?”
    • “Wow, nice nature shot. Is that on Multnomah Falls?”
    • “I really like your outfit. You look super good in this pic.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 751 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that it’s important to ​​follow your crush on social media before you slide into their DMs. [Take Poll]
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    This is a slightly more risky move, but if you know your crush well, you can try it. If they’re into the outdoors, take a picture of your next hike so they ask which trail you’re on. If your crush is a foodie, post a pic of your favorite dish so you can talk about the new restaurant in town. [4]
    • You could even post a cute selfie to see if they send you a compliment.
    • Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your crush will reply to a picture you post.
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Question 3 of 5:

What should you talk about with your crush?

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    Keep your conversation casual with some funny pics. Send them a meme or two that you have saved on your phone to see if they think it’s funny. [5]
    • If you know your crush IRL, you might know a little about their humor and what they think is funny. If you don’t, just send them a pic that you think is hilarious to get the ball rolling.
    • If they like or respond to your pic, you can keep the conversation going! If they read it but don’t reply, it’s best to just move on.
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    Check out their profile to see what they like. If you both like coffee, see if they’ve been to the new cafe in your town. If you’re both into sports, ask them about the national team. Keep the conversation going by chatting about the small stuff. [6] [7]
    • If you know your crush in person, you could even talk about your work or school life.
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Question 4 of 5:

What is a cute way to ask your crush out on Instagram?

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    People love to talk about their animals, so ask your crush about theirs. If they post a photo of their pup, tell them you’d love to meet up in a park nearby. [8]
    • Say something like, “Is that your dog? I’d love to meet him!”
    • Or, “My dog has been needing a playdate buddy.”
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    Keep your common interests in mind when you ask them out. You could go to a movie, grab a bite to eat, or head out for drinks. Go for something casual where you two can get to know each other.
    • Send them a DM like, “I really like talking to you. Would you want to continue this conversation over dinner?”
    • Or, “I noticed there’s a new mini golf place in town. Wanna hit that up this weekend?”
    EXPERT TIP

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Try to build a genuine connection through in-person interactions. Social media can be fun, but it often creates a limited view of someone. Instead of just liking someone's posts, try messaging them an engaging question or story to find common interests. Then, suggest grabbing coffee or doing an activity you both enjoy.

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Question 5 of 5:

What’s a casual way to ask someone out on Instagram?

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    You don’t have to dive into asking them out right away. If you want to see where this is going, try asking for their digits so you two can text. [9]
    • Send them a DM like, “Here’s my number if you want to chat more.”
    • Or, “I’m super bad at checking Instagram notifications. Here’s my number instead.”
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    You can’t go wrong with being straightforward. If you and your crush have been DMing for a while, tell them that you like where this is going and ask them out on a date. For example:
    • “I’m just gonna put it out there: do you wanna grab a coffee later this week?”
    • “I really like talking to you. Would you wanna get a drink some time?”
    • “I think I like you. Can we hang out in person?”
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    If your crush lives in another city, tell them you’re available when they get here. If you see them posting on their story that they’re nearby, send them a quick DM asking to get together later. [10]
    • Try something like, “If you’re still out later, we should grab a drink!”
    • Or, “I’d love to take you sightseeing tomorrow.”
    • For a more subtle approach, say something like, “You’re in town??”
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Is it OK to ask someone out on Instagram?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If we're just talking about a person you met online who you don't know very well, it's probably not a good idea to go this route. If Instagram is how you and the person you like regularly communicate with one another and you've been talking regularly, then go for it!
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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      Tips

      • If your crush rejects you, don’t sweat it. Treat every rejection like a lesson and move onto someone else.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/21/style/instagram-thirst-traps-dating-breakups.html
      2. ↑ https://bestlifeonline.com/instagram-flirting/
      3. ↑ https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/advice/2020/07/27/a-pro-guide-to-sliding-into-someones-dms.html
      4. ↑ https://swipelife.tinder.com/post/how-to-get-your-crushs-attention
      5. ↑ https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/advice/2020/07/27/a-pro-guide-to-sliding-into-someones-dms.html
      6. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-6
      7. ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
      8. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-13
      9. ↑ https://www.collegemagazine.com/6-commandments-sliding-girls-dm-like-average-college-dude/
      1. ↑ https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2017/03/146596/how-to-slide-into-dms-instagram-guide#slide-5

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