This article was co-authored by Nicole Moore
and by wikiHow staff writer, Nihal Shetty
. Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.
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If you’re with a great guy, but think you’d prefer if he had shorter hair, you might be wondering how to approach this conversation. In the end, everyone has the right to look the way they want to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t express your own preferences. This can feel like a delicate conversation, but we’re here to help with this guide on things you can say to convince your boyfriend to cut his hair.
Steps
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Framing your request as a casual question can ease the tension. By asking your boyfriend this question, you can get a sense of how attached they are to their longer hair. If your boyfriend responds by saying something like “Never!” then you probably won’t be able to make much headway in your effort to convince him otherwise.
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Point out the downsides of long hair to get him to rethink his style. If you have long hair yourself, you could also say something like, “I’d cut mine off if I thought I could pull it off. You definitely could though.” Complaining about the maintenance that long hair requires is another good way of getting your boyfriend to think about the benefits of short hair. [1] X Research source
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Be careful when using ‘but’ statements. When people hear something nice, followed by a ‘but,’ they instinctively prepare themselves for bad news. This can make your boyfriend feel hurt and defensive. Instead, tell him that you would like him to cut his hair, then use the ‘but’ to let him know he still looks good to you. [2] X Research source
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Turn your request into an activity you can do as a couple. Inviting your boyfriend along with you to the hair salon can be a fun use of your afternoon, and give you both a chance to bond. Saying something like this is a low-pressure way of letting him know that you think he might look better with shorter hair.
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A joke might be a good approach if your boyfriend has thick skin. If you and your boyfriend frequently poke fun at each other, bring up your preference for short hair with a joke or light-hearted remark. For example, say something like:
- “I get the whole Kurt Cobain vibe, but do you think it’s time for a change?”
- “I hadn’t realized I was dating Rapunzel!”
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Cutting hair isn’t always easy, but can be fun. If your boyfriend is the adventurous type, he might be up for letting you use him as a test subject. Cutting your boyfriend’s hair can be a great way to bond as a couple. But if he responds with something like, “No way,” you can always play this off as a joke. [3] X Research source
- If you do cut your boyfriend’s hair, and you don’t have much experience, try to go for a simple cut with clippers. Advanced styles might be a bit beyond your skill level.
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Your boyfriend shouldn’t have to change his appearance to appeal to you. After all, wouldn’t it feel weird if your boyfriend dictated how you looked all the time? Hair can feel very personal to people—it’s a way of showing our individuality and style to the world. If you’ve used a couple of the comments in this article and your boyfriend shows no sign of wanting to cut his hair, respect his decision. [4] X Research source
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References
- ↑ https://www.thehairstyler.com/features/articles/hairstyles/short-hair-pros-and-cons
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201406/5-tips-tough-conversations-your-partner
- ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/gender-identity/do-you-trust-your-partner-to-cut-your-hair-its-the-ultimate-coronavirus-relationship-test/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/202108/what-do-when-youre-annoyed-your-partners-appearance