How to Deal with a Balding Boyfriend

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If your boyfriend’s beautiful head of hair has suddenly receded a bit, you may be dealing with a variety of complex emotions. Don’t beat yourself up over it. There’s nothing wrong with you. It can be hard to watch someone you care about suddenly look a little less attractive to you—especially if it’s something they can’t control. On the other hand, you may be fine with it while your boyfriend is struggling with his hair loss and subsequent loss of self. In either case, we’ve got you covered with what to do next. Read on to learn everything you need to know about dealing with a balding boyfriend.


Things You Should Know

  • Keep communication open and kind as you both come to terms with the balding. It is normal if you and/or your boyfriend feel uncomfortable with the balding process.
  • Support your boyfriend in trying different looks. Some balding men prefer to fully shave their heads, others opt for options such as toupees which mimic a full head of hair.
  • Remind your boyfriend that he is loved and attractive to you no matter the state of his hair.
Section 1 of 6:

Is it normal to feel weird about my boyfriend balding?

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  1. Attraction is a complicated thing, but the one thing we know for sure is that it’s subjective and uncontrollable. You don’t get to choose what you’re attracted to, so you have nothing to feel guilty about. Don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t all that happy about your man balding. [1]
    • It’s possible that you’re simply not used to the lack of hair on your boyfriend’s head. Even if you feel a little iffy on it now, you might wake up a week or two from now and feel better about his balding.
  2. Some people really couldn’t care less about their boyfriend’s hair. Other people care a lot. Both are equally valid and reasonable ways to feel. You don’t have control how you feel about the way your partner looks, so don’t pretend that you need to feel a certain way. [2]
    • While it is true that you have nothing to feel bad about, your boyfriend doesn’t either. He has no control over this, so try not to take your frustration out on him.
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  3. It may not even be the balding that’s bothering you. It could be what balding means. People start to bald as they get older. You may be upset that the two of you aren’t as young as you used to be, or mourning the lack of adventure that growing old represents. Think about why you feel the way you do here—it may give you some great insight. [3]
    • If your dad was bald, you might find yourself a little turned off by the idea that you and your boyfriend are “turning into” your parents. That’s a pretty common fear, actually. [4]
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Section 2 of 6:

How do men feel when they start balding?

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  1. When a man starts balding, it can feel like he’s losing a part of what makes him, him . It can also be a signal that he’s getting old, or that he’s even getting closer to the grave. All kinds of crazy thoughts can go through his head, and it’s normal for him to feel anxious or scared when he starts balding. [5]
    • He may also be concerned that women and/or men won’t find him attractive anymore, either.
    • There’s a lot of stigma surrounding bald men in our culture. TV and movies often depict bald men as dumpy, unattractive, or uncool. All of this can make balding scary for a guy.
  2. A lot of fellas out there aren’t all that invested in their hair. Many men had dads or grandfathers who went (or always were) bald. If he already knows that balding is genetic, he may have been expecting this. If he has already had time to emotionally prepare, this may not be a big deal. [6]
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Section 3 of 6:

Dealing with Your Boyfriend’s Balding

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  1. Help him find a hairstyle that works for him. If he asks you what he should do and you think a new hairstyle would improve the overall vibe, help him pick something new! If you have a sense for what might work, recommend it. Alternatively, you could go to a hairdresser with him and ask a pro what they think would work. It’s totally possible that a fresh look solves any concerns you’ve got! [7]
    • Don’t ask him to change his hair if he’s happy with the way he looks.
    • Generally speaking, it’s tough to make long hair work when you’re balding. If your boyfriend is rocking a longer style, going short may solve things!
    • You might recommend he grows out his facial hair. Balding guys often look really good with a beard, goatee, or moustache.
    • Buzz cuts, crew cuts, slicked-back hair, and quiffs with a side cut can all look super sharp on a guy who’s balding. [8]
  2. Encourage him to shave his hair to embrace the bald look. A balding guy might not be your jam, but a bald guy? They might do it for you. There are plenty of attractive bald fellas out there, and your boyfriend might be one of them. If he mentions not loving his balding hair, ask him if he’d be interested in shaving. The thought may not have even crossed his mind, and it might work for him! [9]
    • If he’s got his doubts about this, it might be due to the fact that he’s losing hair already and he’s scared of losing more. Remind him that what’s left will grow back if he hates it, and you think bald guys are hot.
  3. Let him know there’s nothing wrong with getting a toupee . We know what you’re picturing right now—a shlocky guy with a pot belly and a terrible toupee. Trust us, toupee technology has come a long way. Reach out to a hair replacement pro near you or online. They’ll have your boyfriend looking brand new in no time. [10]
    • Technically, a toupee only covers a bald spot. Wigs cover your whole head. If he wants to keep his hair, your man needs to look for a toupee. If he’s down to shave it off, he’ll need a wig.
    • You can theoretically just buy a wig or toupee online, but it’s not going to look particularly good. Working with a pro who crafts or installs wigs/toupees will seriously make a world of difference.
  4. Boost his confidence by showering him with affection . Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, and Dwayne Johnson are bald. They’re good-looking, right? It may not be the baldness bothering you, but his reaction to it. If he were more confident and he owned the fact that he was balding, both of you could move on. If the hair isn’t a problem for you and you’re mainly bothered by your boyfriend’s reaction, keeping his spirits up may just help him move past this. [11]
    • Laugh at his jokes, don’t bring up his balding hair situation, and kiss/hug him regularly. He’ll get over the funk and go back to his old confident self in no time.
  5. Talk to him about Rogaine or hair plugs if he’s concerned. If the problem is minor and it looks like your boyfriend won’t be losing his full head of hair any time soon, he can always just solve the problem. Rogaine (minoxidil) is actually highly effective at helping hair regrow. [12] Alternatively, he could reach out to a doctor who performs hair transplants and have the bald spots filled in permanently. [13]
    • You shouldn’t bring these up if your boyfriend hasn’t mentioned these solutions first. It might send a kind of nasty message if you ask him to get a surgical procedure or take medicine to fix something he is otherwise perfectly fine with.
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Section 4 of 6:

How to Support a Balding Boyfriend

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  1. If your boyfriend is upset about this, knowing that you’ve got his back will be a game-changer. It’s hard to feel better if you feel like you’re losing someone at the same time, so keep rubbing his back, reminding him that you love him, and show him the affection that he deserves. [14]
  2. While it’s great to show support and love, you don’t want to overdo it too much. If you act like a brand-new person, he may get the feeling like you’re putting on a show. He knows he’s balding. You know he’s balding. If you oversell it with the love and affection, it won’t feel genuine. A little bit of normalcy goes a long way. [15]
    • If you treat him the same way you normally do, it’ll go a long way towards sending the message that balding isn’t the end of the world. This might seem like a catastrophe to him, and if you treat him differently it may reinforce that feeling.
  3. Your boyfriend knows that you might feel a certain kind of way about it. If you are, and he asks you, tell him the truth in the kindest way possible. Acknowledge what’s going on, tell him you still like him, and offer to help him solve the problem in whatever way he wants. [16] If he asks you what you think about his balding, you might say:
    • “I’m going to miss your hair, but it’s natural. I think it’ll look a lot better if you alter your hairstyle a bit, but you’re still a cutie pie.”
    • “The bald look will suit you. This in-between thing may not be my favorite look of all time if I’m being totally honest, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it!”
    • “I’ve never dated a balding guy before, so this is really new to me. I think I’m not a fan? I’m not really sure yet.”
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Section 5 of 6:

Changing Your Perspective

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  1. Do you like this guy because of what’s on top of his head, or what’s underneath it? You fell for this guy for a variety of reasons, but a great head of hair probably wasn’t in the top 5, right? Remind yourself why you dated this guy in the first place. If you can put a less-than-ideal hairstyle into context, it may not seem so bad. [17]
  2. Guys lose hair. It’s just a thing that happens. While men losing hair may not be your favorite thing about the gender, it’s something you’re probably just going to have to live with. Roughly 70% of men lose hair as they age, and 50% of guys have lost some hair by 50. Knowing that this is a part of life may make it easier for you to cope with. [18]
  3. Imagining how you’d feel if the shoe were on the other foot can settle your thoughts a bit here. Imagine how you’d feel if you lost your luscious locks and your boyfriend no longer liked you as much. That’d suck, right? Picturing how you’d feel if you were at the whims of mother nature may help you see how silly it is to make a massive deal about this (it may be a big deal, but not that big). [19]
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Section 6 of 6:

Is it okay to break up with a guy because he goes bald?

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  1. You might think it’s kind of wrong to break up with someone just because they’re losing their hair, and maybe it is a little bit of a superficial reason to end a relationship, but what’s the alternative? Pretend that you’re into someone you aren’t interested in? That seems kind of unfair to both you and your partner. If this is a dealbreaker for you, it’s okay. Everybody has their quirks, needs, and preferences in a partner. [20]
    • If some thinning hair is enough to make you want to cut the cord and run, know that the fact that this was never going to work in the first place. Respect everyone’s time by moving on now, even if it hurts.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/magazine/1986/11/23/going-bald-is-the-closest-a-man-will-ever-come-to-feeling-like-a-woman/0179d121-1415-43ee-b36f-60c46cb6a47b/
      2. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/magazine/1986/11/23/going-bald-is-the-closest-a-man-will-ever-come-to-feeling-like-a-woman/0179d121-1415-43ee-b36f-60c46cb6a47b/
      3. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/9bgz7e/its-seriously-depressing-to-lose-your-hair-511
      4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201811/afraid-being-your-parents-how-counter-your-fears
      5. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/9bgz7e/its-seriously-depressing-to-lose-your-hair-511
      6. ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/tiger-woods-doesnt-care-that-hes-going-bald-and-neither-should-you
      7. ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/style/hair/balding-gracefully-tips-and-hairstyles-for-balding-men/
      8. ↑ https://www.thetrendspotter.net/hairstyles-for-balding-men/
      9. ↑ https://chicago.suntimes.com/2017/11/9/18469725/dear-abby-as-boyfriend-loses-hair-i-lose-interest
      1. ↑ https://www.yahoo.com/now/internet-cant-get-enough-flawless-toupee-200907851.html
      2. ↑ https://www.vice.com/en/article/9bgz7e/its-seriously-depressing-to-lose-your-hair-511
      3. ↑ https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/hair-loss/treatment/male-pattern-hair-loss-treatment
      4. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/21519-hair-transplant
      5. ↑ https://groclinics.com.au/how-to-talk-to-your-husband-or-partner-about-hair-loss
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201808/should-you-always-be-honest-your-partner
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201808/should-you-always-be-honest-your-partner
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/no-more-regrets/201102/love-minus-regrets-never-forget-why-you-fell-in-love-in-the-first-place
      9. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-do-men-go-bald-and-is-there-anything-you-can-really-do-about-it/
      10. ↑ https://chicago.suntimes.com/2017/11/9/18469725/dear-abby-as-boyfriend-loses-hair-i-lose-interest
      11. ↑ https://www.kqed.org/arts/13824351/whats-your-petty-deal-breaker-in-a-relationship

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