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All the typos, timing & tipsy quirks you need to say how you really feel
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So you want to get flirty with a guy or get something off your chest, and you've chosen the drunk text as your method. Good choice! Drunk texts are bold, open, and usually pretty funny (and they give you a good excuse if your conversation goes awry). They're especially effective when you’re not actually drunk, and it's easier than you think to fake it convincingly! Read on for a complete list of ways to craft the perfect drunk text conversation with a guy.

How do drunk people text?

  • Include weird spelling or grammar mistakes you wouldn’t normally make.
  • Use lots and lots of punctuation, emojis, or all caps to show you’re uninhibited.
  • Make short but overly emotional statements (angry, flirty, excited, etc.).
  • “Lose” your train of thought or follow a weird pattern of logic.
1

Try a fake drunk text generator.

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  1. You’ll still have to figure out what to say and guide the conversation, but drunk text generators are good for drunkify-ing your words for you. On some, you can even choose your desired level of drunkenness to translate to. They aren’t always very convincing, so feel free to make some adjustments before you tap send (or craft your own messy messages without one if you prefer). Check out these drunk text generators:
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2

Clarify why you’re texting him.

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  1. Drunk texting is an excuse to be open and specific about what you want, so clarify that for yourself before you pick up the phone. Are you trying to ask him out? Do you only want to flirt? Do you have to confess something? [1] Here are some big reasons people drunk text:
    • To open up about feelings like love, anger, or hurt that you don’t feel comfortable sharing normally.
    • To feel confident asking for a hookup or a date.
    • To feel less accountable for your words and actions.
3

Text him late at night.

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  1. Daytime shenanigans like a boozy brunch usually have a heavy social media trail, but a blurry night out is easier to make up. Nothing good happens after midnight…except a convincing fake drunk text.
    • Aim for a time when he’s probably still awake. Anywhere between 11PM and 1AM is a solid bet (or even later on the weekends).
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4

Decide how “drunk” you are.

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  1. You might blow your cover if your first 2 texts are incoherent and then you come through with a poetic novel. Think back on situations where you’ve drunk texted before and channel those impulses.
    • “Tipsy” is a good mindset to be in. This is where you’re open and creative, but still able to hold a conversation. [2]
    • Playing “super drunk” might come off as “I need help” or “come pick me up,” so be careful you don’t inspire your guy to come rescue you.
5

Craft a good opener.

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  1. Drunk texters get to the point pretty quick, so you might even just open the conversation with your request right away. Think of a way to hook him besides “heeeyyyy” (which is great for initiating a booty call, but doesn’t necessarily scream “I’m drunk!”).
    • If you need to confront him, use something like “We need to talk.” or “I need to tell you something. Now.”
    • To flirt with him , use a silly question like “Should I have another margarita right now? You decide!” or tell him you’re thinking about him, like “Just remembered how goofy you looked carrying that refrigerator box yesterday.” [3]
    • When in doubt, go for a bombastic “I miss you!!!” (with lots of punctuation or emojis) or remind him of something you did together, like “Omg I just passed that horrible restaurant Shannon dragged us too lol”
    • For a one-night stand, go straight to the classic “you should come over tonight” or “we should meet up later ;)”
    • You could also try responding to his Instagram or Snapchat story (if he has one) so that you don’t have to come up with an opener out of nowhere.
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6

Be funny.

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  1. It’s endearing, shows off your silly side, and makes it look like you’re letting loose with a few gin and tonics. Drunk people know that their jokes aren’t great—they just don’t care! [4] Follow up your dad jokes with a qualifier like:
    • “lol sorry that was bad, I’m a little drunk 🥴”
    • “award for worst joke goes to meeeeeee 🏆”
    • A funny GIF or meme of an awkward smile or hysterical laughter
7

Stick to (mostly) proper spelling.

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  1. Focus on your tone and emotions instead to be more convincing. Typos also potentially lead to misunderstanding, which is something to avoid since you’re already playing a convoluted game of fake drunk texting.
    • You’ll probably make a typo here and there anyway, so just leave those natural mistakes in. Just be sparing with them.
    • Instead, use excessive punctuation and emojis to put that drunk energy in your text (“Why aren’t you at the party!?!?!??? 😦”) or try some sentence fragments instead of elaborate prose (“Bar tonight!?”)
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8

Deny that you’re drunk.

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  1. It seems counterintuitive, but it’s a convincing part of your act. Be playful with it and admit that you’ve had a few drinks, but that you’re still good to go. Try teasing him with phrases like:
    • “I’m not druuuuunk I’m just a little tipsy”
    • “psshh I’m just having a little fun!”
    • “no!!!! 😜”
9

Keep the conversation short.

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  1. Drunk texters introduce a thought—“I really like you” or “I’m mad at you”—and then tend to follow up with sober conversations later. Think of your drunk text as a preview and not the whole conversation.
    • Drunk talks about serious topics aren’t a great idea. Your guy won’t fully believe what you’re saying, or might use “you’re just saying that because you’re drunk” as a counterargument.
    • Shorter conversations also give you less chances to slip up and expose your drunk act. If you’re “at a party,” you probably wouldn’t be standing around texting alone anyway!
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10

End the conversation casually.

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  1. If he’s the one who says he has to go, try something lighthearted like “byeeee!!” or “ttyl!” (you don’t have to reinvent the wheel here). If your texts were more serious, like if you were angry or upset at him, add something like “We’ll talk more later” or “Let’s finish this in the morning” to let him know that you’re not finished with him yet.
    • If you stop texting all of a sudden, he might think you’re in trouble and try to find you. Not only will you be busted, but he’ll have panicked for no reason.
    • Use an excuse that fits your backstory like “We’re trying to find our Ubers now, talk to you later” or “Switching bars!!! Gotta go”
11

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  1. A quick “lol looks like I had a few too many last night” is a fun way to acknowledge the chat, make fun of yourself just a little, and keep talking. Being fake drunk also gives you an excuse to apologize and try again, like “I’m so sorry for last night, I was drinking. Can we chat?” [5]
    • Skim the texts you sent as a reminder of your fake backstory. If it includes a specific friend, loop them in so they don’t accidentally blow your cover.
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      Tips

      • Think about how your guy will respond to a drunk text before you hit “send.” If he’s said he doesn’t like them before or that he doesn’t want to hear from you, it’s best to respect that boundary. [6]
      • Think about how texting him will make you feel, too. Is this an ex who might send you into an emotional spiral? Set boundaries for yourself and skip the texting if it will only make you feel worse.
      • Remember, there’s always the risk you’ll get caught. If you’re busted for faking drunk, just apologize and explain why you felt like you had to pretend.
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