Why You Feel Lost in Life & What to Do About It

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Find more purpose and passion with these self-exploration tips
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Do you feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or uninterested in life lately? Maybe you’re no longer sure of the person you want to be or where you’re headed in the future. While being lost in life may sound and feel negative now, don’t lose hope; feeling lost can be a wonderful way to find yourself and get reinspired to chase your dreams. In this article, we’ll show you what you can do right away to cope with feeling lost, plus share the best strategies to find your way forward again. Above all, remember that it’s normal to feel this way at times; getting lost is all part of the larger journey!

What to Do When You Feel Lost in Life

  • Acknowledge that you feel lost and ask yourself introspective questions to determine why you feel this way. Be honest and nonjudgmental with yourself.
  • Celebrate your unique strengths and talents instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings or flaws. Your abilities can help you find direction and excitement in life.
  • Start new, healthy habits that make you more mindful, compassionate, and motivated. This includes asking for help when you need it.
Section 1 of 6:

How to Cope with Feeling Lost in Life Right Now

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  1. If you’re feeling lost, the first step to regaining direction is to admit your feelings to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s perfectly normal to feel disappointed, unfulfilled, sad, or helpless sometimes—everybody does at some point! These feelings are natural reactions to overwhelming events or changes that may leave you without direction. [1]
    • If you’re not sure exactly what you feel, try journaling . Jot down your thoughts and physical sensations to learn more about your feelings and why you might have them.
    • Denying your emotions can lead to worse feelings, outbursts, or stagnation later.
  2. You don’t have to unearth the answer right away. Just ask yourself introspective questions while journaling or meditating to turn your attention inward. Allow yourself to think and process without judgment; the journey to find your way again is highly personal and there are no right or wrong feelings to have! If you’re stuck, try starting with questions like:
    • When did you realize you felt lost?
    • Did something specific happen to make you feel this way?
    • Do you have any self-sabotaging patterns or behaviors that contribute to these feelings?
    • Do you feel you’ve made mistakes in the past that have brought you to this feeling?
  3. Show yourself compassion and make some time for self-care . Remember that you have control over how you react to your circumstances, even if you feel like they’re outside of your control. So, instead of getting frustrated with yourself, take a moment to be kind to yourself; you might try meditating, yoga, doing breathing exercises , taking a bath, or another self-care activity to calm yourself down and get a handle on your emotions. [2]
    • Think about what you’d tell a friend to do in your situation, then follow your own advice! It’s often easier to show compassion to others than to yourself.
    • If you’re plagued by negative thoughts, try reframing them to be more empowering. For example, instead of “I have no idea what I’m doing with my life,” tell yourself, “I have so many options available to me. I just have to figure out which ones I like.”
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  4. When an activity makes you happy, fulfilled, or satisfied, it feels like a step in the right direction when you’re lost. Basically, any action that helps you feel better is progress! Carve out some time for your favorite hobbies, watch a movie you love, or schedule some quality time with friends and family to boost your mood and help you find some clarity. [3]
    • Your activity doesn’t have to be something big or complicated. It could be something as simple as going for a short walk to take a break from work or calling a friend to catch up.
  5. Fixating on your perceived imperfections can make you feel more lost or pessimistic. Instead, remind yourself that everyone has flaws and challenge yourself to think about what you’re good at. Your best characteristics and talents represent the best parts of you, and these are the strengths you can rely on to help you find direction. [4]
    • Try making a list of what you’re good at or like about yourself. Don’t be picky about what you include; list anything from your best personality traits to your artistic or athletic skills.
    • Remember that many flaws are temporary! If you’re aware of something you don’t like about yourself, you can always make an effort to improve it.
  6. Do you have any less-than-helpful habits that weigh you down, like endlessly scrolling through social media or snapping at loved ones when you’re stressed? When you’re lost, it’s normal to lean into these unhealthy routines and begin to feel worse (for example, constantly comparing yourself to others online can leave you more self-conscious and low than before). Instead, swap these habits with new, positive ones. [5]
    • For example, when you feel the urge to open Instagram for the hundredth time, make yourself take a drink of water or look at something out the window to engage in your present surroundings.
    • Eventually, these “substitutes” will become healthy habits of their own. By choosing more present, compassionate, and kind actions, you’ll begin to feel like you’re back on track.
    • This doesn’t mean you can’t ever get lost on TikTok or go out for drinks after a hard day. Just do these activities in moderation instead of making them your go-to.
  7. When you're lost, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or uninspired by even the smallest tasks. So, identify your top priorities and focus your time and energy on them. These include things you must do (rather than things you should do), are urgent or have a deadline, and/or that move you closer to your overarching goals. [6]
    • For example, if you’re languishing and struggling to get things done, your “must dos” for the day might be to shower, wrap up a work project that’s due soon, and squeeze in a workout to get closer to your fitness goals. All your “shoulds” (like cleaning your apartment or meal prepping) can wait for when you have time and energy to spare.
    • Try eliminating distractions , like your phone or excess noise coming through an open window, to help you concentrate and feel more focused.
  8. It’s easy to dwell on what’s lacking when you feel lost or down, but focusing on what you’re thankful for can help you find more purpose. Try making a gratitude list to literally count your blessings—nothing is too small to include! You might list your family, friends, and health as well as little things like the weather, your comfortable bed, or your favorite TV show getting renewed for another season.
    • Being grateful helps you see how others make the world a better place. This can make you feel more optimistic and motivated to give back too, which helps you find more purpose in life. [7]
  9. You may feel lost if you’re acting in a way that goes against what you truly believe in, so ask yourself what really matters to you. Start small and identify just 1 or 2 values you feel are important, then take action that aligns with them. For example, if social justice is important to you, you may start volunteering at local nonprofits or participating in grassroots movements or campaigns. [8]
    • If you’re struggling to identify your values, think about someone you admire and the specific qualities that make them admirable. Sometimes, it’s easier to see your values in others than in yourself.
  10. Try new things to get out of your comfort zone and find opportunities. Doing new activities or exploring new interests releases dopamine (your “feel good” hormone) and supports your overall well-being. It can also boost your brain’s neuroplasticity (its ability to change and form new connections). All in all, doing new things is a great way to get excited about life again and feel a greater sense of purpose. [9]
    • Choose something that’s moderately challenging or complex to dive into. For example, you might try a painting class, even if you’ve never tried to make a full piece of art before!
    • Set aside time to dedicate to these new activities. Getting in a healthy, productive routine based around something new and exciting is great for your mental health and mood.
    • Not sure where to start? An experienced Advisor from Keen can help.
  11. The people you spend your time with reflect your priorities and direction in life. So, hold your loved ones close and set aside quality time to spend with them; eliminate distractions, leave work at work, and do your best to uphold your commitments to them. At the same time, start to separate yourself from draining relationships that make you feel bad or inspire you to act against your values.
    • For example, you may have a friend group that frequently pressures you to drink alcohol beyond your limit, or perhaps a group of colleagues that make disparaging remarks about other coworkers.
    • First, set boundaries around the behaviors you’re willing to do or tolerate. You might say, “I’d love to hang out with you guys tonight, but I’m only going to have 2 drinks.”
    • If the behavior doesn’t stop, distance yourself from it. If your coworkers won’t stop bashing other colleagues, you might decide to chat with different people at lunch or change the subject to avoid trash talk.
  12. Coming to terms with feeling lost is just one part of coping; the next step is making meaningful change! If you know what the cause is, ask yourself what steps you can take next to change course. For example, if your unfulfilling job is causing you to feel lost, you might decide to set aside 30 minutes a day to job hunt, update your resume, and attend networking events to find new connections and job opportunities. [10]
    • It’s OK if you don’t know what to do right away. As long as you’re actively doing something , you’ll make progress and start to feel like you have direction.
    • If you’re still unsure why you feel lost, make a choice to live more mindfully and work on yourself. As you grow, you’ll realize why you felt lost to begin with, which will help you decide what actions to take next.
  13. It’s normal to need outside guidance to find your way in life again. If you find yourself at a loss for what to do next or aren’t sure how to cope with your feelings, see a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify your feelings and the causes of them, as well as show you how to make meaningful changes in your life to make you happier, healthier, and more enthusiastic about the future.
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Section 2 of 6:

Why You Feel Lost

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  1. There are a wide variety of reasons you may feel stuck, confused, or simply “over it” when it comes to the direction of your life. While every person’s life and circumstances are different, here are some of the most common reasons you may be feeling this way: [11]
    • You’re grieving the loss of a loved one.
    • You’ve recently ended an important or long-term relationship.
    • You’re experiencing a major career upheaval (like starting a new job, losing your job, or making a transition).
    • You feel you’ve missed opportunities in your personal or professional life.
    • You’ve had a major life change like moving, a medical diagnosis, or having a child.
    • You’ve experienced hard setbacks in pursuit of your goals.
    • You lack a strong support system to help you when you’re struggling.
    • You’re faced with a major decision.
    • You’re conforming to societal norms and pressures instead of living for yourself.
    • You’re suppressing your feelings and leaving emotional issues unresolved.
    • You’re experiencing major disruptions to your normal, comforting routines.
Section 3 of 6:

Signs That You’re Lost in Life

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  1. While everyone’s experiences are different, most people who feel lost or directionless experience a lack of enthusiasm about life or the future that can make your emotions unpredictable and your behavior or decision-making skills less controlled. Some other common signs that people experience include: [12]
    • Being blinded by your emotions or overthinking to the point that you don’t feel many emotions.
    • Having mood swings, like crying without knowing why or getting irritated with those around you.
    • Withdrawing from your loved ones or losing interest in things that bring you joy.
    • Struggling to make decisions or not seeing the point in making them.
    • Overreacting to situations without understanding why.
    • Feeling like you’re just “going through the motions” or doing things because it’s what others expect of you.
    • Behaving erratically or impulsively or engaging in risky activities.
    • Needing constant external validation from others.
    • Finding it more difficult to empathize with others.
    • Thinking about most things in absolutes (like “good or bad” or “always or never”).
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Section 4 of 6:

What does “feeling lost” really mean?

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  1. Often, feeling lost can be somewhat similar to having depression in the sense that you’re not sure what the point of life is; you no longer feel inspired or motivated by your hobbies, and you may struggle to recognize or feel like yourself. [13] Overall, feeling lost means feeling directionless or like the path you’re currently on doesn’t lead somewhere satisfying or fulfilling.
    • However, feeling lost doesn’t mean you do have depression (but it can certainly be a part of some people’s struggles). While some people may feel sharp sadness or misery, many others experience a general fog of boredom, disinterest, or dissatisfaction that makes them question what they’re doing with their life.
Section 5 of 6:

Is it OK to feel lost in life?

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  1. Think of being lost in life like being lost on a road trip. Sure, it’s frustrating right now, but it doesn’t mean you’ll never reach your destination or figure out where you are. In fact, getting lost sometimes is a great way to experience new things and learn about yourself in the process. [14] Some of the unexpected benefits of feeling lost can include:
    • Finding a deeper sense of who you are. What interests you? What are your goals? Feeling lost forces you to confront these things in order to find a way forward.
    • Improving your problem-solving skills. Tackling the root causes of your feelings takes deep introspection, analysis, and plan making.
    • Boosting your self-confidence. When you overcome obstacles that make you feel directionless, you’ll feel more assured and capable of handling future challenges.
    • Sparking your curiosity. Feeling lost forces you to look at everything in a new light and find the “why” or “how” behind your feelings, choices, and actions.
    • Going on an adventure. To find direction, you may end up traveling, meeting new people, learning new skills, or trying things you never thought you’d do.
    • Looking forward to something better. Feeling lost is just part of the journey to your destination, so stay optimistic ! In fact, feeling hopeful about the future can boost your overall mental and physical health and may even help you live longer. [15]
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Section 6 of 6:

How to Find Your Way Again

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  1. Attend inspirational events or find a role model to emulate. Sometimes, an example of what you want your life to look like can be the spark that gets you into action and reminds you what you’re passionate about. Go listen to a motivational speaker, see an exhibit or lecture that inspires you, or stop by a networking event to reinvigorate your lust for life. [16]
    • Meeting like-minded people at events like these can make you feel less alone or “othered,” plus the positive energy in the room can feel like a breath of fresh air.
    • Think about celebrities, artists, colleagues, family members, or people in your community you admire. Consider how they might tackle a challenge or pick themselves up when they’re down.
    • You don’t have to live your life exactly the way your role model does; instead, just use their qualities or behaviors you admire as inspiration for what to do in your own life.
  2. Often, the company you keep can reflect your inner feelings and ambitions. So, form a community with like-minded people who support and encourage you. Your community can include your friends and family, an online following, a social or professional group, or any collective that gives you a sense of belonging or direction. [17]
    • If you’re not sure whether you’re part of a supportive community, ask yourself these questions about the people around you. If the answers aren’t inspiring, it may be time to connect with some new folks:
      • What do you have in common with these people?
      • What are these people trying to be or do?
      • What impact will they have on the world, and is it a positive one?
      • Are you able or willing to join them in making an impact?
      • What do they need from you, and are you able and willing to provide it?
  3. Awe is a complex emotion; it’s a sense of wonderment you get when you experience something that makes you feel like a small piece of a vastly larger whole and challenges your “normal” understanding of the world. [18] It might seem counterintuitive to make yourself feel small, but studies show that feeling like you’re connected to something larger than yourself can be the foundation for finding a sense of purpose. [19]
    • “Awe experiences” can be big or small. Start by getting curious about the ordinary things around you. You might go for a walk and look at the complex patterns and colors of leaves, take in all the sounds of the city around you, or listen to someone who inspires you.
    • For a bigger awe experience, try traveling somewhere new, watching a virtuosic musical performance live, looking at amazing art or architecture, or experiencing surreal natural phenomena like the aurora borealis.
  4. You might be craving a single, drastic action to catapult you toward your goals, but you’ll find sustainable success (and learn more about yourself in the process) by making gradual, consistent progress. So, break down your overarching goal(s) into smaller, more easily achievable steps. [20] Every time you cross one step off your to-do list, use your sense of accomplishment as motivation to keep going!
    • Keep your action plan flexible; if one route to your goal isn’t working, regroup and try another way. Consider each obstacle as a lesson in what to do better on your next try.
    • Remember, tiny steps lead to huge progress in the long run!
  5. Often, you think of your “true self” as the version of you that behaves in socially acceptable ways and builds a good reputation. For example, imagine you snap at a coworker one day (something not so acceptable); you might later say, “I wasn’t feeling like myself” when you apologize since the “true you” would never do that. However, if you only view yourself through the lens of how you want to be perceived, you might miss out on your own unique sense of self. [21]
    • Instead, get to know yourself when you’re left with only yourself, your immediate environment, or your closest friends and family. How do you act, and what do you think of yourself in those scenarios?
    • To be more yourself, make an effort to speak your mind more, be more spontaneous, express yourself through your creativity and individuality, and do things that you’re afraid to fail at.
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  6. Remember, no one has it all figured out all of the time. How would you treat a loved one if they were in your shoes? You’d probably tell them not to be so hard on themselves, to take time to rest, and enjoy the journey instead of fixating on the destination. So, treat yourself with the same compassion! [22]
    • When you’re feeling impatient or stuck, try to look at your situation objectively. Prioritize making progress (no matter how small) over being perfect every step of the way.
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Join the Discussion...

I don't know what to do with my life
WikiCloudWatcher412
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WikiCloudWatcher412
I’m 21, and I feel hopeless. I’m working full-time at a cafe, barely getting by. I hate it but can’t find anything else to do. I don’t kn... Read More
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Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
Consider the people in your life that you look up to and observe what they do. What are successful people accomplishing and what do they do in th... Read More
WikiSkyDancer042
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WikiSkyDancer042
The best advice I ever heard is that “sadness is a lack of options”. You're feeling stuck and sad because you don't have options. So you have... Read More
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      References

      1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      4. ↑ https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/
      5. ↑ https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuroscience-in-your-daily-life/202211/how-to-prioritize-a-never-ending-to-do-list
      7. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life
      8. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      9. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/feeling-lost
      1. ↑ https://declutterthemind.com/blog/feeling-lost/
      2. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/feeling-lost
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/making-change/201702/feeling-stuck-lost-or-overwhelmed-there-is-hope
      4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/metacognition-and-the-mind/201806/getting-lost-and-the-benefits-finding-yourself
      6. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/optimism-and-your-health
      7. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-you-feel-lost
      8. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life
      9. ↑ https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Awe_FINAL.pdf
      10. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life
      11. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/feeling-lost
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202107/who-is-the-true-you
      13. ↑ https://www.betterup.com/blog/feeling-lost

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