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So, you made a mistake, and now your partner (or other loved one) is mad at you. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes but if yours cost you your relationship, you might be worried that it can't be fixed. If you want to salvage your connection and rekindle what you once had, read through our helpful suggestions and consider giving some of them a try.
This article is based on an interview with our relationship expert, Kelli Miller, licensed pyschotherapist and award-winning author. Check out the full interview here.
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QuestionHow can a relationship go back to normal after I cheated?Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.Take accountability for what happened and apologize for what you specifically did. Be willing to answer any questions your partner has after the fact—they deserve to understand what happened and why. Then, make a commitment or promise going forward so your partner can feel safe in the relationship.
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QuestionWhat are some ways I can make it up to my wife after I hurt her so badly.Nobody2907Community AnswerWake up early and leave a gift on her bedside table. Make her breakfast. (If she likes pancakes and syrup, pour the syrup in a heart or smiley face.) Take her shopping and let her treat herself. Take her to a spa. Take her out on a date. Do a hobby or activity with her that she enjoys. Give her space if she asks for it. Never make her uncomfortable; always ask for consent. Think about your actions and plan a well-written apology. Give her the classic flowers, chocolates and teddy bear.
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QuestionI tried everything to fix things about us. What am I supposed to do to my partner if he doesn't want to fix things after I messed up, causing him pain? He told me to give him more space.Nobody2907Community AnswerAsk him how long he would like space, and give him that space. In the meantime, think of how you can learn from your mistakes. Don't let it happen again. It will be a chance to take care of yourself and pick up a new hobby or skill.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201312/the-1-2-3-s-relationship-repair
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10002055/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#1
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-say-sorry-and-mean-it
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-say-sorry-and-mean-it
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10002055/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#2
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#2
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/apologies.html
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#2
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotionally-sensitive/2017/01/relationship-effectiveness-what-to-do-when-youve-messed-up#2
About This Article
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