How do I deal with an unrequited crush?
I have had a crush on this boy since class last year, he sits by me this year and I finally couldn't hold it in anymore and I told him right before Christmas break how I felt and he turned me down :( he was really nice about it but now that we're back from break I see him all the time again and it's so hard to be around him and not have him feel the same way. I can't handle this. I feel heartbroken every single day, and I also feel stupid for telling him. I'm so sad. How do I get over this?? I don't want to like him anymore but I can't help it, I can't help hoping deep down that he will change his mind eventually but I know I shouldn't wait for that
View hidden comment
Expert Comments
Research shows that the feelings of pain of a romantic rejection usually fade over about six months to two years. People with an anxious attachment style often take breakups harder than those with a secure or avoidant attachment style. Rejection can feel traumatizing, and it's normal to take time to grieve, process, and get back to equilibrium.
Studies show that bereaved people who avoid grief and make an effort to suppress emotion take the longest to recover from a loss. You need to process the emotional energy that is stuck in the body. Try practicing the Three R's to help process your emotions:
Recognize. First, you need to identify the emotion and feel it in the body. Close your eyes, and see what sensations come up in the body. Do you feel pressure anywhere? Tightness? Pain? Practicing mindfulness and meditation will help you with this ongoing process of learning to sense what is going on in the body.
Respond. In order to process emotion, it needs to be expressed. Ask yourself, what emotion did you connect with? What does it need from you? What feels right at this moment to let it speak, to give it a voice, to express? Maybe you need to cry, scream, shake, or dance.
Reflect. By writing about how you feel and where you feel it, you'll start to make sense of what is happening to gain perspective. What are your greatest points of grief and frustration? What is your body trying to tell you? What can you learn? Try not to filter or judge your thoughts, just keep the pen going to help you get into a flow state.
View hidden comment
Studies show that bereaved people who avoid grief and make an effort to suppress emotion take the longest to recover from a loss. You need to process the emotional energy that is stuck in the body. Try practicing the Three R's to help process your emotions:
Recognize. First, you need to identify the emotion and feel it in the body. Close your eyes, and see what sensations come up in the body. Do you feel pressure anywhere? Tightness? Pain? Practicing mindfulness and meditation will help you with this ongoing process of learning to sense what is going on in the body.
Respond. In order to process emotion, it needs to be expressed. Ask yourself, what emotion did you connect with? What does it need from you? What feels right at this moment to let it speak, to give it a voice, to express? Maybe you need to cry, scream, shake, or dance.
Reflect. By writing about how you feel and where you feel it, you'll start to make sense of what is happening to gain perspective. What are your greatest points of grief and frustration? What is your body trying to tell you? What can you learn? Try not to filter or judge your thoughts, just keep the pen going to help you get into a flow state.
I really need help getting over a guy, I've known him since last June. I was basically a summer fling, but I still have feelings and I'm always hoping that he'll text me back....😭💔 help!!
View hidden comment
Reader Comments
im so sorry that this happened, any time you confess it's a shot in the dark I guess, and you liked this boy enough to shoot your shot. I pray that you can find a good man to love you and cherish you in the future. This is all part of God's plan. ❤️❤️
View hidden comment
I've been in the same situation as you. I told a boy I liked him, he didn't like me back, and then I felt awful and couldn't get over him for a long time. I also hoped deep down that he would change his mind one day and I think that hope hindered my healing process. You need to be realistic with yourself, even if it hurts. Talk to yourself and convince yourself to come to terms with the fact that he is not interested in you. Once you really understand and feel that, it will be easier to move on. I kept reminding myself that there will be someone else for me, who likes me as much as I like them and is a better match for me.
View hidden comment
Aw man I'm sorry that you're going through this! What helped me get over an unrequited crush was spending more time with friends and doing things that made me happy and helped me take care of myself. I schedule more hangouts with friends and talked through my feelings with my close friends. I sang along to my favorite songs and played my favorite video games. I made time to exercise and made sure I got enough sleep every night. This was all really helpful.
View hidden comment
Readers Like You Love These Quizzes
WikiFlamigoRider304 DO NOT WORRY the right guy is out there somewhere and apparently he was not for you.
View hidden comment
OMG I completely understand how your feeling. I meet an amazing, sweet, and non-judgmental, smart guy during last summer named Grayson. He was so sweet, but I was just a summer fling and it really hurt me 💔 I am still in love with him even though he stopped texting me too. I am always hoping he'll change his mind.
View hidden comment
2 years ago I had a crush on this girl and told my friend that I would ask her on valentine but he asked her out instead I was heart broken I cried but I started experiencing,reading and listening to music that got my mind of it.
View hidden comment
I feel ya im a let's say bisexual and I have a crush on this girl who is my best friend ad today someone thought we were dating but I told them we weren't and then told my best friend and she said it would never happen she only likes boys so yeah I hope she never finds out I like her
View hidden comment
I have a crush on this guy in school and he knows I like him. He said he didn't know if he liked me back, and it's been a few days. What should I do?
View hidden comment
What’s on your mind? Ask anything.
Get advice and feedback from experts and wikiHow readers just like you.
Ask a Question
More Forum Discussions
Ask a Question
Trending Discussions
How do I rizz up a girl I just met?
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her to notice me?
Read More
How good is your rizz?
This quiz said my rizz is mid. Guys, help me out. What do I gotta do ? What works for you?
Read More
What do I do if my bestie is growing away from me?
My bestie found another friend and just what should I do?
Read More
