How do you start conversations on dating apps?

This post was sourced from submitted reader questions and posted by wikiHow Editorial Staff, based on our article: 50+ Expert-Backed Dating App Conversation Starters .

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wikiHow Editorial Team

03/04/25 2:41pm

To open a conversation with someone you've matched with on a dating app, mention something they've said in their profile to show you've read it and are interested in learning more about them as a person. For instance, if they mention they love reading, you could say, "What book have you been loving lately?" People love to talk about themselves, so this could be a good way to get a conversation rolling!

It's OK to politely compliment a photo they've posted (e.g. "Your hair is gorgeous!" or "I love your smile!"), but avoid making sexual or raunchy comments when you first start talking to a potential match. Keep things friendly and casual, but personal.

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Damona Hoffman
Celebrity Dating Coach

03/26/25 5:32pm

First of all, I recommend keeping your first message short and sweet. My easy formula is "comment plus question". I couple those two things together because the comment is saying something specific about the profile that you connected to personally, while the question is an invitation to move the conversation forward. And it gives you something to hang the conversation on. If you're just saying, “Hi” or “I liked your profile” or something generic, it tends to start the conversation out without any real momentum. However, you absolutely need momentum to drive the relationship forward if your goal is to ultimately move it off of the app and into real life. There are so many matches and options that people are sorting through that you need a simple framework like this to get conversations going. This way, you'll be able to stay in the game, sort through your matches, communicate effectively, and figure out what you need to know about someone before you go to the next step with them. Good luck!

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Reader Comments

Juan Carlos Peña

03/06/25 1:04pm

Starting a conversation on a dating app can be easier if you avoid generic greetings like “Hi” or “How are you?”. The best approach is to personalize your message based on something from their profile, like their interests or photos.

For example, if they mention they love movies, you could ask: "If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, which one would it be?" Or if they enjoy traveling, "What’s the most amazing place you’ve ever visited?" These kinds of questions help start a natural conversation and show genuine interest.

Another great trick is using humor or something creative. A fun comment about something in their profile can break the ice and make the conversation flow more easily.

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