How to Get Inside a Girl's Head

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: March 25, 2024 References

It can be daunting trying to get inside a girl’s head and make her think about you. Put your best foot forward and win her over by giving her your full attention, making her laugh, impressing her with your skills. Make yourself memorable by looking confident and self-assured in both how you speak and how you dress. Get to know her better by reading her body language, and by learning about her hobbies and favorite music.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Winning Her Over with Conversation

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1
Give her your full attention. Inspire a girl’s confidence in you by giving her your complete attention during a conversation. Make direct eye contact, nod and react while she is talking, and repeat things back to her to convey that you are listening. This will work to make you look charismatic and empathetic to her. ^{[1]
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- For example, if she is telling you about her current project at work, interject with positive comments like, "I can imagine that involves a lot of commitment!" or "It sounds like you have great time management skills!"
- Eliminating distractions is an important part of active listening, but other cues like eye contact and asking questions may make more of an impact.
- Reader Poll: We asked 303 wikiHow readers and only 9% of them agreed that the best way to show a girl you’re actively listening is by avoiding distractions . [Take Poll]
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Women respond to humor and appreciate people who can make them laugh. Laughter may also reduce shyness or defensiveness and make her feel comfortable with you. Tell a joke, do an impression, or share a funny anecdote about yourself to make her feel happy and at ease. ^{[2]
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3
Talk about your skills without boasting. Bring up your skills and hobbies in a tactful way to impress her without seeming arrogant. Wait for the conversation to lead there naturally, or ask her about her interests or hidden talents to set up the topic. Interesting talents or pastimes will make you seem more intriguing and dynamic.
- "For instance, talk about your surfing skills by saying something like, "It's a fun and challenging activity. I've been devoting a lot of time and practice to getting better at it."
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4
Establish connections with her. Create a rapport by looking for connections between the two of you. Shared interests, hobbies, or experiences can forge a bond between people. Ask questions until she reveals an aspect of life that you share, then highlight that mutual connection. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
- For instance, if she mentions a love of zombie movies, express your appreciation for the genre by telling her your own favorite films.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Understanding Her

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1
Read her body language. Look for physical cues that may indicate how she feels about you. Postures and motions may reflect what she is thinking and feeling, and provide insight into how you should act around her. Some possible body language cues may include:
- If she mirrors your movements, she is likely intrigued by you.
- If she plays with her hair, she is likely trying to get or keep your attention.
- If she dangles a shoe off her foot, it is a sign that she is comfortable with you.
- If she locks eyes with you for several consecutive seconds, it likely means that she wants the interaction to go further.
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2
Find out about her hobbies. Ask her what she likes to do in her spare time, and if she has any regular hobbies. Hobbies can tell you a lot about a person’s creativity, social life, talents, and passions. To really get to know her, ask to join her for a class, excursion, or event to experience her favorite hobby firsthand.
- For instance, ask if you can join her for a bike ride or yoga class.
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A person’s favorite music is closely linked to their personality, so knowing what she listens to may give you more insight into who she is. Ask her who her favorite bands or artists are, or look for any preferences she might have listed on her social media accounts. Use a digital streaming service to preview or download songs or albums that she likes and listen to them, on your own, or with her. ^{[4]
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Understanding someone's relationship with their loved ones can provide a great deal of insight into who they are. Inquire about her family and friends indirectly by asking who the most influential people in her life are. How she answers the question (i.e. who she mentions and how she talks about them) will tell you a great deal about her life.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Looking Self-Assured

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Looking cool and confident will definitely make a better impression than being nervous or jittery. Right before seeing her, do breathing exercises to settle your nerves. Breathe in through your nose, hold it for five counts, then exhale through your mouth for another count of five. Repeat this ten times to achieve the full effect!
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To sound confident when talking to a girl, speak clearly and audibly. Make sure that you’re not speaking in a soft or muffled way by talking slightly louder than you instinctually would. Practice beforehand to get comfortable with the tone and volume.
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3
Present an easy-going attitude. Being laid back is a great way to convey that you are comfortable in your own skin, which is bound to get her attention. Use your body language to convey it by leaning back and facing forward while speaking to her, demonstrating openness and a casual vibe. Avoid getting insulted or worked up in conversation, and avoid looking over-eager. ^{[5]
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- For instance, instead of asking, “Do you like this restaurant? We can go somewhere else if you don’t”, say, “I really like this restaurant and thought it would be a great choice. Hope you like it too.”
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4
Dress to impress. Choose clothing that makes you feel confident but also reflects your original style. To look put together, opt for a fitted or tailored outfit and avoid anything baggy, shapeless, or ill-fitting. Wear a color or pattern that you feel most attractive in, and add unique accessories to emphasize your unique personality. ^{[6]
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- Wear fitted jeans and a sophisticated black blazer, and add a colorful bracelet or favorite scarf to accent the look.

Attract Girls and Win Their Hearts with this Expert Series

Attracting girls and turning them on doesn't have to be hard. Learn how with these expert articles, hand-picked from our dating coaches and relationship experts.

1

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2

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3

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Know a Girl's Feelings