How to Get a Boyfriend As a Guy in High School

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High school can be an exciting but a stressful time. As you are getting to know about yourself, you may have realized that you are gay, pansexual, or bisexual. Dating in high school can be hard, and finding someone to love while you are finding yourself can be even harder. Finding your community, meeting new people, and beginning a new relationship will help you get started.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Finding Your Community

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  1. See if your high school has an LGBTQ club or group, and join in! Oftentimes, these organizations are open to both LGBTQ members and to allies, so if you are unsure about being out or not, this may be a good place to start. [1] If you are sure, then joining in will help you find potential dates. Additionally, you'll be able to find a support network among the group of others who understand what it is like to be LGBTQ and date while in school. [2]
    • If there is no LGBTQ club or group at your school, start one! Speak with an advisor, counselor, or teacher about starting a club or group. Being a leader is a great way to be attractive to others!
    • If you are hesitant about joining an LGBTQ group, still try to find a community at your school. It could be a different club, or it could be the music, art, theater, or sports programs.
  2. Joining a group online will help you with a sense of community and a place to network within the community. [3] If you are cautious about exploring through your school, or you live in an area that is less accepting, the online community may feel like a safer place to start. Share your experience, ask questions about dating or coming out, get inspired, and inspire others. Make your safety your number one priority. Never agree to meet someone you met online in real life by yourself.
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  3. In addition to joining groups online and through school, access resources in your local geographic areas. Joining groups in your local area and accessing what they have available will also provide you more networking opportunities and possible dating partners. Local groups will also provide places for you to go if your home environment is not as accepting as you would like it to be. [4]
    • LGBT Community Centers
    • PFLAG Chapters
    • Search your nearest city for non-profit organizations or centers for LGBTQ youth.
  4. Keep your old friends, but make new ones, too. [5] Pick a friend, someone you're close to, but someone you can also talk to openly about what you are going through. Make friends with people in the community that you admire and that you'd like to be more like. In this way, your new friends can help mentor you around the dating world.
    • Find friends in the activities that you like to do, or the hobbies and interests you have.
    • Smile. It's remarkable how much easier it is to make friends when you are smiling.
    • Be helpful. Another good way to make new friends in engaging in community service.
  5. Many people will be judgmental of both you and your lifestyle, unfortunately that thinking is still alive in the world. Remember that people are fearful of what they do not understand. Tell them that they have no right to condemn you, the way you choose to live your life, or who you choose to have a relationship with. [6]
    • Be too busy discovering your new community and getting yourself out there to care what they think.
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Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Am I Bisexual?

If you have ever wondered “Am I bisexual?”, you’re not alone—and you’ve come to the right place. Bisexuality means romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender, and there’s no exact set of criteria or experiences you have to check off to identify that way. If you’re looking to explore your attractions, we’ve got the quiz for you.
1 of 16

How would you feel if a person of the same gender asked for your number?

Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Meeting People

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  1. Any organizations you have joined or networking you have done will likely help you meet potential significant others. Try and focus on meeting other people first, as you get to know them or as you find someone that you like, you'll be able to begin to determine their orientation and if they are single or in a relationship.
    • If you'd like to be a little more overt, try dating applications like the BRO app. [7] Be careful with any interaction involving dating online, especially if you are underage, and make sure you are thinking of your safety first.
  2. At events or organizations, you may meet someone you really like and are interested in. Pay attention to the body language, both yours and his, for signals of interest. If someone is interested in you or you are interested in them, the body may react in the following ways. [8]
    • Stomach gets pulled in to look sleeker or slimmer.
    • The chest puffs out in order to look bigger or more muscular.
    • The head will lift, to make the person appear taller.
    • The jaw juts out as a way to look more dominant.
  3. Whether they are old friends, new LGBTQ friends, or guys that you have recently met, if you are ready, ask your friends for help. Tell you friends that you are looking to date and ask them if they know any single guys that might be a good match for you. [9]
    • Make sure it is a friend who knows you well and who cares about you. You want to make sure whoever you are asking will set you up with a quality guy and that they are basing it off what they know about the two of you.
  4. There are some subtle and not so subtle ways to figure out if a guy you are interested in is also interested in men. Be careful not to assume orientation based on stereotypes or appearances alone. Your best bet to determine their orientation is to talk to them and get to know them. If you would like some hints, here's what you can do for:
    • Look at his eyes. Do the pupils dilate when they look at you? Pupil dilation is a sign of sexual interest, and indicates that he finds you attractive. [10]
    • While you are talking, mention that you are interested in men, and see how he reacts. Mentioning your orientation may make him feel more comfortable and give him an opening to tell you about his.
    • Ask him. Try and be nonchalant and unassuming about it. "Hey, I don't want to assume anything, but I like you. I was wondering if you were interested in going out with me sometime?"
  5. Another great way to meet a potential boyfriend is to meet by getting involved in events or activities that you like. If you meet a potential boyfriend there, you already know you have a common interest, and being involved with events or organizations will give you a built-in excuse or reason to see them again. You could also try joining the activities of someone you like or are interested in.
    • It is best if you get involved in events or activities that you like. [11] This way you are being true to yourself, and you won't have to pretend to be interested in or like something you do not just to keep seeing someone.
  6. Most importantly, as you are going through this part of the process, be your awesome self. You may feel a lot of pressure to find a special someone, but don't give up parts of yourself just to win someone's attention. You want to find someone to be with, and you are going to want that person to accept you for who you are, so be you!
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Starting out in a New Relationship

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  1. Asking someone out, starting out in a new relationship, or the “seeing each other” phase, can bring nerves as well as excitement. Have confidence in the fact that the person you are and your personality attracted your date in the first place. If you are getting ready to ask someone out, have confidence in yourself and it will show to them.
    • If you need a little boost in confidence, get a new outfit that makes you feel great, or get a new haircut.
    • Stay away from negativity and only listen to positivity. [12]
    • Change your posture, eye contact, and smile. These will help you present yourself as a confident person and will help you feel more confident and controlled as well. [13]
  2. Maybe you have asked your friends to set you up. If so, that's great! If you have already met someone you like, you may have to take matters into your own hands and ask them out. It can be stressful, but if you really like the person, step out of your comfort zone and take the risk! There are several ways you can go about asking someone out on a date. [14]
    • Use a mutual interest to ask them out. If there is an event you were both planning on attending, ask, “You and I were both planning to go to the dance on Friday, why don't we make a night out of it and go together?”
    • Ask in a casual way. If you want to set a relaxed vibe, ask them out for something casual like coffee. “Hey, I was wondering if you would be interested in getting coffee after school, you know, just you and me?”
    • Ask in a more formal way. If you'd like the date to be a little more serious, or if you think your date would appreciate the extra effort, you could leave a note attached to something asking, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” or simply stating, “I would like to take you to dinner sometime.”
    • Reader Poll: We asked 815 wikiHow readers, and 59% of them agreed that the best way to get to know someone you’re interested in is to hang out in person . [Take Poll]
  3. Maybe you've been really wanting a relationship like this for a long time, maybe you're nervous, or maybe you met the perfect guy and you are really excited. These are all great things! Be careful not to get too caught up in the emotion that you it becomes too intense too quickly and scare him off. [15] Take things slowly, and let them develop naturally.
  4. Even if a date doesn't work out, try and enjoy the dating process. It may take time to find your person. Use any bad dates you have as funny stories to tell your friends, and any good dates you have as confidence boosters. Just enjoy it, don't be worried about what will happen next or what others think. Love is love is love, and you deserve to find yours.
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    I can't be open to my family. I don't know what to do, it is very difficult to live with them. They keep saying it is a phase and they always say "she is pretty, you should date her." It has been like this for 2 years now. I have been trying to hide my boyfriend but it is very difficult. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    I'm sorry your family doesn't understand and is not supportive of you. Have you found friends, a community, or a support system outside of your home? If you have, rely on them for support. All you can do with your family is to keep being you, and they will see that this is not a phase, it's part of the awesome person you are! If you feel like it might help, you could also talk to them about how they are making you feel.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
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    Yes No
    Not Helpful 12 Helpful 81
  • Question
    I'm moving to a new school and I want to exchange protection for sexual favors, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    You should not use your body or sexuality as currency. Not only is that considered prostitution, but it damages your self esteem and can be very unhealthy or even dangerous. You should ask your parents to let you see a counselor to help you work through reasons you would consider something like this.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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    Yes No
    Not Helpful 17 Helpful 50
  • Question
    I'm only 12 and I'm going to high school; how can I tell if a boy I like is gay or bi and tell if he likes me too?
    Community Answer
    Check out his social media accounts, not just what he posts, but what he likes, follows, etc. These may offer some clues. Then, talk to him. Pay attention to body language as described in this article and try to pick up on any differences between the way he talks with you and the way he talks with other people that might be evidence of flirtation.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 7 Helpful 59
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      Tips

      • Don't be afraid to report any incidents. Even if you live in an area not friendly to LGBTQ people and relationships, always remember that you have as much right to respect, a good life and a great relationship as anyone else. Bullying and hate are never okay.
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      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC .

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.glsen.org/sites/default/files/Gay-Straight%20Alliances.pdf
      2. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23688311
      3. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a35136/things-i-wish-i-knew-about-being-gay-when-i-was-younger/
      4. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/06/16/us/LGBT-orlando-shooting-reactions.html?_r=0
      5. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-become-a-magnet-for-friends-7-mindful-tips/
      6. ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a35136/things-i-wish-i-knew-about-being-gay-when-i-was-younger/
      7. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bro-app-straight-men-dates-sex_us_56a94d8ae4b0d82286d4ddfd
      8. ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-alvear/the-5-principles-of-gay-b_b_307721.html
      9. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/7-ground-rules-for-setting-up
      1. ↑ https://www.datingadvice.com/advice/how-to-tell-if-a-man-is-gay
      2. ↑ https://www.succeedsocially.com/meetpeople
      3. ↑ https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
      4. ↑ https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/200908/loving-too-much

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