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Greeting a girl can be difficult, especially if you get nervous around other people, or are a bit of an introvert and never know what to say. Maybe you don’t know how best to greet a girl whether she’s your friend, you don’t know her well, or you’re on a first date. Whatever the situation, there are plenty of tactics you can use to seem confident, normal, and approachable.
Steps
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Decide on how close you two are. Depending on how close your relationship is, figure out what feels comfortable between the two of you. If you’re close friends you can probably be more physical, but if you two aren’t super close it’s probably better to keep contact minimal.
- Do what makes you feel comfortable. It’s good to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time but when you’re greeting a girl, in general, the more comfortable you are the more she’ll be.
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Engage her like you would any friend. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t necessarily mean you have to treat her unlike your guy friends, especially if your relationship is platonic. But also use common sense here and don't do something inappropriate. A simple “Hello” or “Hey” is always a great place to start.
- If you’re greeting a girl who is more like one of your guy friends, bump fists with her or give her a playful nudge.
- If you two are close enough give her a hug, as physical touch can strengthen relationships.
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Compliment her. [1] X Research source Compliments go a long way in any type of relationship. Noticing something about her appearance or even something she has recently done that she’s proud of is a great way to make her feel more comfortable with you, and shows you’re genuinely interested in her.
- Use compliments sparingly since they can come off as disingenuous if you don't mean them. [2]
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Expert Source
Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020. - This doesn’t have to be done in a flirty way, just notice something you like about what she’s wearing. Maybe you like her shoes, or she has a new haircut. Noticing details and pointing them out will make her comfortable around you.
- "I really like your shoes. [Color of her shoes] looks really good on you!"
- "Did you get a haircut? I really like the new look, it works for you."
- Use compliments sparingly since they can come off as disingenuous if you don't mean them. [2]
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Expert Source
Candice Mostisser
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Make eye contact. By looking her in the eyes, you’re making a connection and showing genuine interest.
- Keeping eye contact is also a good way to help you stay calm and comfortable. Just focus on her and forget about everything happening around you.
- Reader Poll : We asked 57 readers, and 73% agreed that the best way to project confidence while talking to a girl is with a smile and eye contact . Take Poll.
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Tell her you’re excited to see her. People like to feel wanted in any capacity and telling her that you’re glad to see her shows that you value her in your life and you like that she’s a part of it.
- "It's great to see you! I'm excited we're hanging out."
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Ask her what she’s been up to. Even if you’re shy by nature or feel awkward in social situations, especially with girls or women, just treat her like any other friend and show that you care about her.
- You can even reference something you saw that she did on social media. For example, if she went on a trip a simple "I saw you went on vacation. I'm so jealous, it looked awesome! Did you have a good time?" works well.
- By asking questions about her day you are further showing interest and that she’s important to you.
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Introduce yourself with confidence. Whether you’re meeting her for the first time or you don’t know her well, but you have mutual friends, just be friendly and sure of yourself. [3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- A simple “It’s very nice to meet you.” is a great opener in this situation.
- Remember that in this situation she’s in the same place as you. So don’t feel like you need to one-up her (or anyone else there) or act like someone you aren’t. Just be yourself.
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Read her body language. Remember that you don’t know this girl very well or at all, so reading her body language can give you a good indication of her comfort level. Trying to embrace her with a hug may be too forward if you two aren't close.
- You can offer to shake her hand if she seems open to it, or even just give a friendly wave.
- Be polite. Like the saying goes, “You catch more flies with honey.” In this scenario you're probably making a first or second impression. Trying to show off or joking with her like you might a good friend could offend her.
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Smile at her. Don’t overdo it though by smiling too big or being too enthusiastic.
- Acting too eager to meet her or greet her could make her uncomfortable and make you look like you’re coming on too strong.
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Learn her name. If you’re greeting her in a group of friends, hopefully your friends will properly introduce you, but if you're not introduced, politely ask her name and offer yours. [4] X Research source
- When you learn her name repeat it back to her when you tell her yours.
- Making eye contact and using her name can also help you to remember it better .
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Use humor in your introduction. [5] X Research source There’s a reason that people are drawn to comedians and funny people, as laughter can be comforting. When you greet a girl you may not know all that well, some humor will show her that you’re comfortable with yourself (even if you’re nervous) and not a rude person.
- Using humor is a great approach when greeting a girl because it can ease any tension.
- If you’re shy or nervous you can use a little bit of self-deprecating humor to break any tension and make her feel more comfortable around you. Joke about your appearance or the situation.
- "I'm glad [name of mutual friend] dragged me to this, I had a pretty crazy night of Netflix binging planned, but this seems better."
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Don’t overstay your welcome. Sometimes the best impression is a quick one that leaves her wanting to know more about you.
- If you have a hard time making small talk with people, especially when greeting a girl, keep it short and sweet. Don’t try to force any conversation.
- If the conversation doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, politely excuse yourself.
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Create a great first impression. You can do this by showing up to where you are meeting a little early. Showing up on time will also give you a few minutes to compose yourself and relax.
- Being punctual shows her that you’re mature and reliable.
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Go the extra mile. Chances are you already know some things about her so use what you know to help break the ice. For example: if she likes flowers, get her favorite one and bring it for her.
- This can also be a good way for her to find you if you’ve never met before and are meeting somewhere public.
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Take cues from her. Don’t come on too strong; instead wait to see how she acts. Is she being flirty or touchy? Or is she more reserved? You don't always have to wait for her to make a move (sometimes it's better to take the lead and be assertive), but acting too comfortable before you get to know each other can put her off. [6] X Expert Source Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.- Even if you’ve talked before and made a connection, assuming she’ll be comfortable with physical touching might be a bad idea and could make things awkward.
- If she does go in for a hug or something like a handshake, meet her halfway.
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Tell her how excited you are to greet her. Like in the earlier methods, employ eye contact and smile.
- "I'm excited to finally meet you, [name]. I've been looking forward to this."
- Remember that she wants to be there too, and that she’s probably just as nervous as you are, so just breathe and act confident.
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Give her a compliment. There's a difference here in complimenting a girl and being rude or objectifying. [7] X Research source You may be nervous and be tempted to try and act suave, but being a jerk won’t help you.
- Be specific when you compliment her. [8]
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Research source
Don't just say "Your hair looks nice." Instead, look for something that she's clearly taken time on. Maybe she has a specific style, like bangs. Don't just say "Your hair looks nice." Instead, look for something that she's clearly taken time on. Maybe she has a specific style, like bangs. Say "I like your bangs, you really pull those off, they frame your face really well." [9]
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Expert Source
Candice Mostisser
Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 24 January 2020. - Compliments don't have to be physical either. Show her that she has that special something that makes you attracted to her. Tell her that as soon as she walked in, the whole room brightened up. Tell her that she has a great sense of humor, or that her intelligence is sexy. You don't have to say that she's turning you on, that may be a bit forward, but you can say something like "I was attracted to you as soon as I saw you, but talking with you has only made me more attracted to you."
- You can employ a bit of humor here as well and add something like "I just hope I'll be able to keep up with you."
- Remember here that you're on a date, and while being friendly is always a great place to start, you want to show her that you're interested in her as more than just a friend. With a friend you want to keep compliments platonic, but here you can tell her how she makes you feel, that you are attracted to her.
- Be specific when you compliment her. [8]
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Research source
Don't just say "Your hair looks nice." Instead, look for something that she's clearly taken time on. Maybe she has a specific style, like bangs. Don't just say "Your hair looks nice." Instead, look for something that she's clearly taken time on. Maybe she has a specific style, like bangs. Say "I like your bangs, you really pull those off, they frame your face really well." [9]
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Expert Source
Candice Mostisser
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Community Q&A
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QuestionI'm friends with this girl and we're comfortable with friend (side) hugs most times. She hugged me first and I've tried to keep it going. How should I go from friend side hug into more-than-friend hugs?Community AnswerAsk her how she feels about you two taking things to next level, or ask her how she feels about you. From her answer you will be able to determine what you should do.
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QuestionI will meet a girl tomorrow. We have been texting for about half a month and I don't know how to greet her when I finally meet her. What would be some tips?Community AnswerIf you have been texting for awhile then you know about her already. Try taking her to a movie or somewhere like an event where things won't be as awkward. By doing something like this, you will be able to vibe and have a little moment with her. The movies or an activity would be nice, then at the end of the day, look at the stars with her.
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Tips
- Don't be an over friendly person saying “Hello” to every girl. She might think you're a player or disingenuous. Just keep it simple with a smile and pay attention to her.Thanks
- Don't start blabbering or making rude jokes. Remember that humor can be a good tactic when greeting a girl, but never when it’s at her expense.Thanks
- If you’re close to your female friend and she hugs you, it doesn’t always mean she likes you in a romantic way. Sometimes a hug is just a friendly greeting.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don’t be too touchy or hang around a girl too long if she seems uninterested.Thanks
- Avoid saying something rude or pointing out something you see as a flaw in her.Thanks
- Remember when giving her a compliment that she’s a human being who deserves to be treated respectfully.Thanks
- Just because she may be responsive to your greeting, or touches you, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything from her.Thanks
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References
- ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/compliments-for-any-person/
- ↑ Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/08/a-simple-way-to-introduce-yourself
- ↑ http://www.littlethingsmatter.com/blog/2010/02/26/10-ways-to-make-a-positive-impression-when-greeting-people/
- ↑ https://www.ponwell.com/350-funny-and-witty-introductions-to-use-2020/
- ↑ Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
- ↑ https://au.reachout.com/articles/5-ways-to-give-compliments-that-arent-about-a-persons-looks
- ↑ http://www.match.com/magazine/article/4219/10-Ways-To-Compliment-Your-Date/
- ↑ Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 24 January 2020.
About This Article
Article Summary
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Greeting a girl can feel scary, but there are plenty of ways to feel confident and approachable. When you’re greeting a girl you don’t know, introduce yourself in a friendly, confident manner. Give her a kind smile, and tell her “It’s very nice to meet you.” You can then ask her name and tell her yours. If the conversation doesn’t seem to go anywhere after that, keep it short and politely excuse yourself instead of trying to force anything. If, on the other hand, you’re greeting a girl on a first date, make a great first impression by being on time. Go the extra mile by giving her a flower or telling her how excited you are to finally meet her. Then, give her a specific, sincere compliment to break the ice a bit. For example, tell her something like “I like your hairstyle. It really frames your face,” or “I can’t wait to talk to you and learn more about you.” To learn how to greet a girl who you already know, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "Shes a friend I've been out with once, and I just wanted to know a good way to greet her for our second time."
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"Shes a friend I've been out with once, and I just wanted to know a good way to greet her for our second time."
"I got the perfect knowledge to greet her."
