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Getting a psychological edge over your opponent is essential to success in any competitive endeavor. In order to get that edge, it is important to develop your own confidence and properly demonstrate it to your opponent. However, it is also necessary to maintain good sportsmanship and civility. Ultimately, the best method for intimidating your opponent is by developing practices that accentuate and improve your own confidence.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Conveying Physical Confidence

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  1. Your posture is the key to conveying your confidence. A slouched or hunched-over posture implies fear and a lack of self-assurance. Keep your back straight and your shoulders squared. This tells your opponent that you are ready to compete and are confident in your abilities. [1]
    • Taking this posture, even if you are not feeling confident, will help you develop a more assured attitude. Acting confidently can lead to you feeling more confident. [2]
  2. Walk around in an assertive manner while sticking out your chest and holding your head high. If you are standing, widen your stance by spreading your feet and bending your knees. Expanding your physical space makes you appear more powerful and confident, possibly shaking your opponent’s self-assurance. [3]
    • Avoid standing with your feet closely together. This can make you appear fearful.
    • Try crossing your arms across your chest. This makes you appear bigger and more intimidating. [4]
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  3. Lowering your vocal pitch conveys authority and confidence. High-pitched voices, on the other hand, convey nervousness and weakness. Maintaining a low, yet natural, tone will help you appear more in control. [5]
    • Practice putting your lips together and saying, “Um hum, um hum, um hum.” This will help relax your voice and lower your pitch.
  4. Look your opponent in the eye and avoiding breaking their gaze. A timid glance tells your opponent that you are insecure in your abilities and intimidated by them. When you meet your opponent, look into their eyes long enough to see what color they are. [6]
    • Try looking at your opponent’s forehead if you are uncomfortable maintaining eye contact. This gives the appearance of eye contact without actually doing it.
  5. A friendly look will convey to your opponent that you are not nervous and, therefore, not intimidated by them. Although severity can appear intimidating, it is more likely to make your opponent think you are nervous. Smiling will also help you relax and help you feel more confident about the situation. [7]
    • Smiling at your opponent can actually improve their attitude towards you, challenge the negative image of you in their head.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Demonstrating Your Poise

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  1. Although it may appear that acting aggressive and excited will be the best way to intimidate your opponent, keeping a relaxed and even attitude will better convey your confidence. If you are acting overly animated, your opponent is likely to interpret your behavior as a mask for nervousness and fear. Demonstrating a relaxed attitude conveys confidence and self-assurance that will shake your opponent’s confidence. [8]
    • Avoid acting too nonchalant. This will convey to your opponent that you do not care and are an easy opponent.
  2. For a competition where you are not wearing a uniform and get to pick your own attire, wear something that exudes confidence. Professional attire, such as a suit, conveys authority and self-assurance. With extra padding and layers, these outfits can also make you appear more intimidating and help your feel more in charge. [9]
    • Make sure that your attire is appropriate for your competition. Wearing the wrong clothes conveys that you are ill prepared and are not a serious threat.
  3. If you are competing in a physical activity, demonstrate to your opponent that your body is ready for the challenge. Be sure to wear clothing that accentuates your muscles and highlights your physicality.
    • You may want to do some push-ups or other light exercises beforehand to make sure your muscles are looking firm, but do not overdo it. Save your energy for your event.
  4. Before you compete, practice your talents in front of your opponent. Hit a few three-point shots in warm-ups or demonstrate a complicated maneuver you have mastered. This conveys to your opponent that you are skilled and know what you are doing.
    • Avoid doing something that you are less capable of pulling off. If you try it and fail, your opponent will take you less seriously and it may shake your own confidence.
  5. Let your opponent know that you are not intimidated by having a congenial conversation. Ask your opponent how they are doing and if they are excited for the competition. This is good sportsmanship and conveys to your opponent that you are not afraid of them.
    • Do not talk too much to your opponent. This will help you avoid breaking the rules, starting a fight, or allowing yourself to be intimidated by your opponent.
    • Avoid trash talking. Although this may seem like a good way to get in your opponent’s head, it will distract you from what you need to do to win. It is also poor sportsmanship and, depending on what kind of activity you are participating in, may result in a penalty. [10]
  6. It is important to control the flow of events during the competition. Being passive gives your opponent the upper hand and allows them to dictate the pace of the contest. However, it is important to avoid being overly aggressive or violent. Not only is this considered poor sportsmanship that may result in a penalty, it will also distract you from what you are trying to accomplish. [11]
    • Being violent will make it hard for you to be a good team player. Try not to let your opponent get you angry.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Preparing for Competition

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  1. Be realistic about your strengths and limitations. Develop strategies that emphasize your assets while preparing for attacks against your weaknesses. This will help you feel in control and confident as you prepare for the contest. [12]
    • Working with a coach or trainer is a great way to get a better understanding of your skills. They bring extra expertise that can boost your skills and confidence.
  2. The surest way to feel confident going into a competition is to have honed your talents through practice. In the days or weeks before a competition, practice your skill regularly and work diligently to improve it. This will help you feel prepared and confident going into an event. [13]
    • Avoid over exerting yourself and make sure that you get plenty of rest. Overexertion can leave you feeling fatigued and sap your confidence. Give yourself plenty of rest before your competition.
  3. Before your competition, find a practice that will help you focus and control your emotions during the contest. Finding and utilizing a strategy that works for you will help you feel more confident going into your activity and convey to your opponent that you are in control. [14]
    • Try listening to music that helps you get pumped up but also helps you focus.
    • Breathing exercises can help calm your nerves before a contest.
    • Meditation can also help you rein in your anxieties and focus your mind.
  4. Before you begin a competition, understand what factors may make it hard for you to concentrate. Will your family be attending? What are the negative and positive consequences of the contest? Understanding and planning for how to deal with these distractions will help you clear your mind and remove doubt that can undermine your confidence. [15]
  5. Develop an understanding of your opponent’s strategies and style. Study how you competed with this person in previous contests or how they competed with someone else. Knowing your opponent will help you feel better prepared and, therefore, more confident before your contest. [16]
    • What methods has your opponent used in previous contests?
    • Is there a particular facet of the competition that they have mastered?
    • How does their style compare to yours?
    • Are there any weaknesses that you can exploit?
  6. Depending on the type of competition, you may find yourself in an unfamiliar location. Before competing, understand what the facilities are like and how they will influence your performance. Understanding how factors, such as the crowd or the weather, might affect your strategy, and planning accordingly, will help you feel prepared and confident when you compete. [17]
    • Playing an opponent in their home facility is particularly difficult. Utilize your focusing strategies to block out external factors.
  7. Maintaining your daily habits is essential to staying focused for a competition. This helps you stay comfortable and limits stress. Feeling comfortable and relaxed is crucial to staying confident going into a competition. [18]
    • Try developing a daily schedule if you cannot stick with your daily routines.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you intimidate people?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    People can intimidate you by looks, words, threats, or physical posture--like blocking a door entrance or staring you down when you make a suggestion they don't like.
  • Question
    What is intimidating behavior?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Intimidating behavior is anything intentional you do that causes harm or fear in the other person to accomplish your own goals.
  • Question
    What is psychological intimidation?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Psychological intimidation is controlling and maneuvering behaviors and statements that get another person to do what you want. It violates their autonomy and self-respect.
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