Is Talking to Yourself Normal? When It's Healthy (& When It's Not)

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Find out how self-talk helps your mental health
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Do you feel weird for talking to yourself? You don't have to – it's perfectly fine and even healthy to talk to yourself! In this article, we'll explain all the benefits of talking to yourself, but we'll also address when self-talk can become more harmful than helpful. In addition, we'll cover signs that something deeper is wrong, as well as how to stop talking to yourself if it's bothering you. Finally, we'll include expert tips on cultivating healthy thought patterns and self-beliefs from life coaches Sydney Axelrod and Sandra Possing.

Is it normal to talk to yourself out loud?

Yes, it's normal to talk to yourself out loud or silently in your head. It's a healthy habit as long as you focus on making your self-talk positive and productive. For example, talk to yourself to solve problems, work through tough emotions, focus on tasks, motivate yourself, and reinforce positive self-beliefs.

Section 1 of 6:

Is it normal to talk to yourself?

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  1. Most people have an internal dialogue, and some simply choose to speak it out loud instead of keeping it all in their heads. It's especially common among people who spend a lot of time alone, and it can serve different purposes. A lot of experts recommend self-talk as a healthy way to solve problems, regulate your emotions, focus on important tasks, and motivate yourself. [1]
    • You can talk to yourself silently or even out loud – either is acceptable! But if you choose to self-talk out loud, wait until you're alone so other people won't hear your inner dialogue.
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Section 2 of 6:

Benefits of Talking to Yourself

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  1. Everyone knows the value of talking to a friend or family member about a problem to work through it. But you can often do the same thing and get similar results by simply talking to yourself! If you want to try this, refer to yourself in the second or third person (i.e., say "you" or your name instead of "I" or "me"). This helps distance you from your problems so you can approach them with less emotion and find more logical solutions. [2]
  2. When you're feeling a strong emotion, like anger or joy, talking to yourself about it and the circumstances that caused it can help you feel less stressed about it. This is especially helpful when we're at work, school, or even at home and want to avoid "blowing up." Talking to ourselves is a quick and easy way we can deal with our feelings, good or bad, in the moment. It's also much healthier than taking them out on other people or through physical aggression (like hitting or throwing things). [3]
  3. Too often, when we're trying to do something important ( like answer questions on an exam or finish a report for our boss), our minds wander. Talking to yourself about the task in your head can help you concentrate your thoughts where you need them to go. That way, you'll have an easier time completing the task and can move on to something else. [4]
  4. Sometimes, tackling a problem or a task isn't a matter of being able to stay focused – it's more of a problem with feeling motivated. That's where talking to yourself can come in handy because you can be your own personal cheerleader. Saying phrases like "You can do this!" or affirmations like "You're strong and capable" can give you that little boost of self-confidence you need to get things done. [5]
  5. Axelrod says she loves self-affirmations and mantras because they're helpful ways of "strengthening a new belief or a new perspective that's… supportive for you." In other words, by telling yourself "You're amazing!" or saying "I believe in you," you're reinforcing a positive belief – you really are amazing – which supports and uplifts the way you think and feel about yourself and the world.
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Section 3 of 6:

When Self-Talk Is Unhealthy

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  1. It's easy to fall into the unhealthy habit of speaking about the world and ourselves with a negative perspective. For example, one common negative thinking pattern is catastrophizing, where we assume the worst possible outcome is always the most likely. Another is personalizing, where we believe every bad event is our fault. We might also filter out all the positive thoughts and focus only on the negative, when it should be the other way around. Finally, we might polarize, meaning we believe we're either totally good or totally bad. [6]
    • Negative thinking can also be a side effect of depression. [7] If it persists, talk about it with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
    • If you tend to say negative things to yourself like "I'm no good," "I'm a terrible human being," or "I can't do anything right," redirect your self-talk to positive mantras like, "You're a good person" and "You can't do everything, but that's okay."
    • It's okay if you don't believe the positive things you're saying about yourself at first. Axelrod recommends practicing it until you believe it, even if it feels cheesy or awkward.
  2. Ruminating and talking to yourself about the same problems, fears, anxieties, or traumatic events from your past over and over can be damaging to your mental health. [8] If you have trouble stopping this cycle, you may have a condition like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Both can be treated with therapy and sometimes even medication.
  3. Talking to yourself out loud is perfectly fine, but only in the right time and place. Some great places to talk to yourself are your house (or your bedroom if you don't live alone), a private bathroom, in your car, on solitary walks, or anywhere else where you're completely by yourself. Avoid voicing your internal dialogue on the bus, the subway, public restrooms, in the store, or anywhere else where other people can hear you.
    • The reason you should avoid talking out loud to yourself around other people is that strangers (or even friends and family) don't need to know all your private thoughts. More than that, though, they probably don't want to know.
    • Instead, talk to yourself in your head while you're out in public. It's more considerate and will help you avoid a lot of funny looks!
  4. When you talk to yourself, you're probably perfectly aware that you're only talking to yourself. You certainly don't expect any voice other than your own to answer you. Even if you've made up a fictional persona to talk to (which some people find helpful), you don't actually believe they're real. If you lose that self-awareness, though, that's a sign that your self-talk has morphed into an unhealthy habit.
    • The good news is this isn't likely to happen unless you're undergoing some kind of mental health crisis or are suffering a mental disorder. In either case, talking to a trusted friend or family member or even seeing a therapist about it may help you come back to reality.
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Section 4 of 6:

Signs That Something Is Wrong

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  1. 1
    Hallucinations When you hallucinate something, you typically hear, see, or feel something that the person standing right next to you doesn't perceive. That's because the thing you're experiencing isn't real; your brain is making it up. [9] If you believe these hallucinations are real, you might talk about them or even speak to them, but a casual observer might think you're just talking to yourself.
    • Hallucinations can be a symptom of schizophrenia or psychotic depression as well. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that causes people to lose touch with reality by feeling or believing in things only they can see. [10] Psychotic depression is a dangerous mixture of deep depression and psychosis, or a loss of touch with reality. [11]
    • Additionally, hallucinations can be a side effect of taking certain drugs, like LSD, cocaine, or amphetamines. You might also experience them if you have a fever or a serious illness like liver failure or kidney failure. They're also common among people with brain disorders like dementia, epilepsy, and narcolepsy.
  2. 2
    Delusions A delusional person passionately believes things that aren't real or true, even if someone else gives them proof or evidence against them. For example, someone suffering from delusions might be convinced that someone is trying to sabotage their vehicle when in reality, they're just having normal car troubles. They might rant and rave to themselves about how the world and everyone in it is out to get them. [12]
    • Delusions are a common symptom of schizophrenia and psychotic depression.
  3. 3
    Disorganized, illogical speech & thoughts If your words and thoughts are extremely disorganized and don't make any sense (even to you) when you talk to yourself, that may be another sign of schizophrenia. When you talk to yourself out loud, someone who overhears you might be baffled because to them, your sentences sound chaotic with no train of thought connecting them. [13]
    • A person suffering from a stroke may also experience this symptom before and during the stroke. If you have trouble speaking or feel confused and disoriented all of a sudden and have other symptoms (e.g., shortness of breath, numbness on one side of your body, drooping facial muscles), call 911 immediately. [14]
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Section 5 of 6:

How to Stop Talking to Yourself

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  1. If the fact that you talk to yourself bothers you, try writing in a journal instead. Make it a part of your daily routine and write as often and as long as you want (or have time for). There are no rules for journaling, so you can write in the first, second, or third person – whichever perspective is most comfortable, choose that.
    • According to Possing, this is also a helpful strategy for getting negative thoughts out of your mind. She also suggests writing down things you could think of instead that are more positive and helpful.
    • For example, if you frequently tell yourself, "You'll never achieve your dreams," write that down and then write a better thought, like, "Even if I never achieve my dreams, I can still be happy."
  2. Giving yourself advice can be fun, but sometimes you need to stop talking to yourself and get an outsider's perspective – especially when you're wrestling with serious problems and feel depressed or anxious. Choose someone you trust, like a parent, a sibling, or your best friend, and tell them you need to talk to them about something. Wait for a moment when you can be alone together, then pour your heart out.
    • If you're religious, you may also want to express your troubles in prayer. You may not get an answer right away, but it may help you feel better.
    • If you feel depressed or anxious all the time, talk to a professional therapist . They can help you get to the root of your negative emotions and start on a path to better mental health.
    • While talking to others is always a great idea when you're dealing with a big problem, avoid falling into the habit of dumping all your problems – big and small – on someone else (unless they're your therapist). For as much time as you talk about yourself, spend at least the same amount of time being an active listener and staying present for your loved ones.
  3. If talking to yourself isn't helping you solve a problem or accomplish a positive goal, channel your energy into a different activity. For example, every time you get the urge to talk to yourself and rehash the same old issue (i.e., "My parents just don't understand me" or "How can I get better at algebra?"), do 10 squats or jumping jacks; perform breathing exercises ; put on some music or a podcast; or clean a room in your home.
    • You can also try doing something that will actively help you with whatever you're ruminating about (like actually studying your algebra textbook instead of just thinking about it).
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Section 6 of 6:

Final Takeaways

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  1. Conversing with yourself in your head or out loud can help you solve problems, process your emotions, focus, stay motivated, and create positive beliefs about yourself and the world around you. It only becomes an unhealthy habit if all your self-talk is negative; if you talk out loud to yourself around other people; or if you're no longer aware that you're only talking to yourself. Otherwise, enjoy speaking to one of the most interesting people you know: you !
    • Speak to a medical professional if you experience hallucinations, delusions, or disorganized speech and thoughts, all of which can be symptoms of a mental disorder or a physical illness.

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      References

      1. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5986836/
      2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/02/pronouns-matter-when-psyching-yourself-up
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-talk
      4. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5986836/
      5. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5986836/
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/anxiety/cognitive-distortions-put-an-end-to-distorted-thinking
      7. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression
      8. ↑ https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/rumination-a-cycle-of-negative-thinking
      9. ↑ https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/003258.htm
      1. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizophrenia/symptoms-causes/syc-20354443
      2. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3686458/
      3. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizophrenia/symptoms-causes/syc-20354443
      4. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/schizophrenia/symptoms-causes/syc-20354443
      5. ↑ https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/stroke/symptoms

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