What Does It Mean When a Guy Calls You?

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Decode the romantic reasons why he calls instead of texts
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Who’s that on your caller ID? Oh, just that guy that you’ve been thinking about 24/7. But why a call instead of a text? We’ve got good news—it probably means that he’s interested in you. We’ll fill you in on everything that phone call could mean for your relationship-to-be. Then, we chatted with dating coaches and experts to bring you plenty of other signs that point to romance on your horizon.

Things You Should Know

  • If a guy calls you, it could mean that he cares enough about you to put in more time and effort to a conversation than a simple text.
  • A guy who calls you might be trying to get your attention, or to spark some chemistry with a live conversation.
  • He could be calling because you’ve moved past the texting stage, and now he wants to be closer and more familiar with you.
Section 1 of 2:

What does it mean when a guy calls you?

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  1. When was the last time you picked up the phone and called someone you didn’t really care for, just casually? Can’t remember? Exactly. A phone call requires time and energy, and we don’t give that time and energy to just anyone. If he’s ringing you up, it’s probably because you’ve caught his eye, and now he wants to make a move—even if it’s a small one.
  2. Texting is almost too easy. The stakes are low, everything’s planned, and there’s very little chance to mess things up. That’s why most people stick to it. [1] But a guy who picks up the phone to call you is taking a bit of a risk to show you that he cares enough to put in the effort, and that you’re worth that risk.
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  3. There’s only so much rapport you can build over texting, and often, a real conversation, even over the phone, helps someone to flirt and gauge the other person’s interest more organically. [2] He might be calling you to have a more impromptu, organic conversation that brings you closer together.
  4. Studies show that people feel much more connected and even intimate when they make a phone call than they would if they were just texting. [3] If he calls you, he might have decided that it’s time ditch the small talk and get a little more serious, and is calling you to deepen that bond.
  5. Context is important. A guy who calls you to ask about the chemistry homework might also be using it as an excuse to talk, or he might just genuinely need the chem homework and yours was the first number that came to mind. How can you tell the difference? Ask yourself:
    • Do the two of you interact, chat, or even flirt otherwise? If he shows other signs of being into you, then calling to ask a favor could be another way to get closer.
    • If you barely talk to each other outside that phone call, he might have just needed the favor. That doesn’t mean it’s a dead end, though. Return his call a few days later with your own question and see where things go!
  6. Now, we don’t know the full details of the situation, but if he’s calling you constantly, multiple times a day, to the point where you’re getting a little annoyed, he might be something of a clinger. Maybe he got a little too attached too quickly and just can’t help himself. It’s still a sign he’s into you, but it could also be a little bit of a red flag. [4]
    • More concerning, if he always calls you to ask what you’re doing or where you are, and gets fussy about it, he could be worse than clingy—he could be controlling, and that’s definitely a red flag.
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Section 2 of 2:

Other Signs He’s Into You

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  1. Relationship consultant Joshua Pompey says that making frequent eye contact is a “tremendous sign of interest.” [5] It shows that a guy literally can’t keep his eyes off you—he wants to keep his attention on you to see if you’re enjoying yourself, and hopes that you notice him, as well.
    • On the other hand, straight-up staring could also be a sign of attraction, but is a little weirder and a bit more of a red flag. Moderation in everything!
  2. Relationship expert Joshua Pompey says that “when someone is looking at you and they’re smiling a lot,” that’s a common sign they’re into you. [6] He enjoys being in your company, but more importantly, he wants you to know that he enjoys it.
    • He might also be hoping that by smiling a lot, he’s lifting the mood and making things comfortable for you.
  3. Dating coach Candice Mostisser shares some flirty forms of touch: “touching a hand over another hand, putting a hand on a leg temporarily, coming around a table if you're sitting across from somebody to come sit next to them.” [7] It’s those small opportunities he uses to get physically closer that are huge green flags.
    • Of course, consent is key. If you feel like he’s getting a little too close or is too comfortable touching you unprompted, that’s a red flag.
  4. Dating consultant Joshua Pompey says that “just because someone asked a personal question doesn't mean they're interested.” Rather, it’s the “personal questions that show genuine interest” that matter. [8] Some examples of those are:
    • Questions about your own interests and how you spend your time.
    • Questions about your relationship status, or what you want from a relationship.
    • Questions about what you want from the future.
  5. A guy who’s into you really wants to impress you, and often that means looking his best. If you notice him excuse himself, then come back looking a little sharper—his hair is nicer, his shirt is smoothed, he put on some cologne—he’s almost definitely trying to put his best foot forward and catch your eye. [9]
  6. Dating coach Candice Mostisser says that more concrete plans based on your mutual interests are the golden ticket: “I'm talking about if you find mutual interests: you both love cooking, coming up with a theoretical plan of, ‘Oh, it would be so fun to go together to the farmer's market, get some fresh veggies, and cook something together one day.’” [10]
    • She adds: “Those are really the ways that somebody is able to cement a vision of how they picture a life with you could start.”
  7. Our dating coaches emphasize that “if someone really likes you, they will make quality time for the relationship.” A guy who likes you will set aside time for you, and he’ll drop everything and lend an ear when you need help. [11]
    • After all, being closer to you is one of his top goals, and he’ll take every opportunity he can get to let you know that he’s the right one for you.
  8. A guy’s friend group isn’t open to just anyone. If he introduces you to his friend circle he’s telling both you and his friends that he expects you to be around for a while, as part of his regular social life. It’s his way of saying, “Hey guys, be cool around her. She’s a keeper and you’ll be seeing a lot of her.” [12]
    • It’s an especially good sign if he introduces you to his parents or his family—he could be hinting at serious commitment.
  9. At some point in the talking stage, “you and I” or “she and I” becomes “we.” It’s not, “Yeah, I’ll ask her if she wants to come,” but, “Of course we’ll be there.” It’s a sign that he thinks the two of you have gotten closer, and that he sees you as a unit, rather than two separate people.
  10. If he was on the apps looking for the one, but he deleted the apps after he met you, there’s really only one thing that could mean. He’s not looking, because he’s found what he’s been searching for, and he’s willing to go all-in on you and your relationship.
    • Similarly, he might follow you on social media and interact with your posts. It’s a small, digital sign that you’ve got his attention.
  11. Many men are notoriously stoic, and avoid being vulnerable. [13] There’s a lot of complex social psychology stuff happening there, and we’re not here to solve all that, but it’s no secret that if a guy opens up to you, it means he feels safe and comfortable enough to trust you, which is huge for your relationship.
  12. Even the most confident and suave guys can fumble a bit when they see someone they like. Maybe his voice cracks, his hands tremble, or the conversation is a little stop-and-go. It’s not always comfortable, but it could be a sign that he wants so badly to impress you that he’s actually just psyching himself out.
  13. It could be sending you a bouquet of flowers, or it could be something less obvious, like bringing you your coffee order or reminding you of that important meeting. These small things are actually huge acts of affection that show he cares about you and wants the best for you. [14]
  14. Dating consultant Joshua Pompey says that “body language is key.” [15] Read his body language : Does he face you when he’s talking to you? Does he lean in to listen? Are his shoulders back and arms uncrossed? These are all signs of open and attentive body language, and are a green light for a budding relationship.
  15. You don’t even remember mentioning how you love ramen, but here he is suggesting you get dinner at that new ramen place in town. A guy who’s interested hears and remembers what you say, no matter how small. After all, he’s invested, and he wants to get to know everything about you. [16]
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/201809/why-are-people-dependent-on-texting
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201510/can-texting-sabotage-emotional-intimacy
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/should_you_call_or_text_science_weighs_in
      4. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/5-clingy-relationship-behaviors-hurting-love-life/
      5. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      6. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      7. ↑ Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      1. ↑ Candice Mostisser. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview
      2. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-likes-you/
      3. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-likes-you/
      4. ↑ https://caps.umich.edu/article/men-and-vulnerability
      5. ↑ https://www.simplypsychology.org/signs-a-guy-likes-you-body-language.html
      6. ↑ Joshua Pompey. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      7. ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-likes-you/

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