Life Lessons Everyone Should Learn

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Motivational, powerful, and inspiring lessons from professionals, gurus, and lifelong learners
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Whether you’re looking to become more successful, get answers to some of life’s big questions, or just avoid making the mistakes others have already made, you’re in the right place. We’re here to share the biggest lessons in life that those who’ve come before you have already learned. That’s why we sat down with 20+ experts–psychologists, doctors, life coaches, and more–to glean insights and learn everything they think you need to know about living your best life.

Essential Life Lessons

  • It’s okay to not know what your purpose in life is.
  • Don’t let regret keep you from making the changes you need to make.
  • You are completely in charge of what happiness and truth mean for you.
1

It’s okay to feel lost.

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  1. It’s very easy to look at other people and feel like they know some kind of secret about life that gives them guidance and power, but the reality is that we’re all just faking it until we make it. It is 100% normal to feel like you aren’t completely confident about your direction in life, and that’s okay. [1]
    • Don’t let feeling lost stop you. Life coach Jennifer Butler says you have to ignore the stories you tell about yourself not being enough. She says, “We all have these stories and false narratives that run underneath our consciousness. Having the mindset that you need to get somewhere, be in a certain relationship, or achieve a goal before you can do what you truly feel passionate about definitely holds people back.”
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2

The best time to do something was yesterday.

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  1. The second best time to do something is today. Stop procrastinating and start making moves. Whatever it is you need or want to do, take that action today. Don’t let the fact that you should have done something in the past keep you from doing it now. [2]
    • Don’t hold on to regret. Holistic life coach Wes Pinkston says, “Regret comes from you wishing past events had gone differently. While it can be beneficial to investigate past events to learn from them, removing self-judgment can go a long way from shifting a regret into a learning lesson about what to do now.”
3

You cannot think your way into change.

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  1. Don’t get us wrong, it’s good to take a minute before you make big moves to ensure that you’ve thought it through all the way. That said, some people spend their whole lives planning and then forget to actually enact the plan. Once you know what you have to do, do it! [3]
    • Don’t let anxiety stop you from acting! Life coach Rachel Clissold laid it out with this example: “I traveled the world for 10 years alone. Every time I travel, there's always fear. Every time, even 10 years later. But still, I know this is where I'm meant to be. You just have to go for it at some point and ignore the anxiety.”
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4

School is never over.

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  1. You should always be learning new things and growing intellectually. Even if you aren’t much of a “book learner,” it’s essential that you stay curious. Ask questions when someone shares something you don’t know a lot about, try to read books about subjects you’re unfamiliar with and always be on the lookout for new things to learn. [4]
    • Staying open-minded is essential. Life coach and entrepreneur Sandra Possing says that you must “ go [to] new places with a commitment to learn. If I go to a different country or a different job or whatever, instead of immediately going, ‘This is different and that’s bad,’ I'm just going to try to look at it with a commitment to understand and a commitment to learn.”
5

Your job does not define your meaning in life.

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  1. A lot of people get a ton of meaning, value, and insight out of their work. It becomes a huge part of who they are and if they weren’t doing that work, it’d feel like a serious loss. But if that’s not you, that’s 100% okay. A lot of people don’t find their job to be anything more than a job and they get all of that spiritual meaning and value elsewhere (like in personal relationships, hobbies, passions, etc.). [5]
    • Even leadership and executive coaches agree your job isn’t everything: As professional coach Guy Reichard puts it: “Once you know your true self, you get to decide how to live and make your life meaningful. Often, that means what you do to contribute to society, but it can be anything you find value in.”
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6

Respect should not be earned, but given.

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  1. Don’t treat respect like some test other people have to pass. A lot of people like to rely on phrases like “respect must be earned” or “you only get respect if you give it.” The problem is that these kinds of perspectives treat “respect” like some kind of test other people must pass for you to treat them right. Be respectful of everybody at all times. You’ll get a lot farther in life by being nice and treating other human beings the right way. [6]
    • You’ll help make the world better just by being in it. Communications coach Maureen Taylor says, “If you constantly seek understanding about where people are coming from and you can learn to always respect that, the world will be a much happier place.”
7

People remember the way you make them feel.

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  1. Measure your words carefully when you speak and always opt for the kinder approach whenever it’s possible. People don’t really remember what you do so much as they remember the texture of how they felt around you. You’ll have much more meaningful relationships if you remember this! [7]
    • Be mindful of how you approach tough conversations. Certified Professional Master Life Coach Jessica George suggests “Being mindful and cognizant of other peoples’ needs and behaviors. Tread lightly when sharing tough information and never point fingers. Avoid the word “you” to keep things more about how you feel. People will feel much less defensive around you.”
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8

Hurt people often hurt people.

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  1. Don’t take bullies seriously and remember it’s not about you. It’s very easy to take mean behavior personally. But at the end of the day, someone who goes out of their way to put other people down is only doing that because they’re hurting inside and they don’t know how to handle it. Brush it off and don’t take any of it personally. [8]
    • That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set boundaries! Counselor Casey Lee says, “You should first acknowledge what might be happening inside the other person. People often display ‘narcissistic’ types of behavior because they are not feeling secure. However, it is also important to be assertive and keep your own sense of self.”
9

Perseverance is 90% of accomplishing anything.

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  1. Whether it’s a school project, a college degree, a side hustle, a career, a friendship, or a marriage, being committed and showing up is a huge deal. People notice persistence and reward it, and when it comes to relationships, people notice when you’re there for them. [9]
    • Don’t let obstacles stop you. Mindset coach Kirsten Parker points out that “Resilience is a really powerful tool. I think that we can encounter challenges and feel like we’re at such a disadvantage because they’re challenges we haven’t encountered before. Don’t let that lack of experience stop you from persisting.”
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10

Reputation is created by behavior.

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  1. Announcing who you are means less than what you do. You know those people who post nonstop on social media about how they’re so loyal, driven, or popular? Do you think those people are actually those things? Of course not. How you are seen is based on the things you do, so don’t worry about talking your way into a certain reputation–people see what you’re about. [10]
    • Behave yourself online to prevent future headaches. Tech executive Archana Ramamoorthy says, “The very first thing someone knows about you these days is your digital presence. If they Google your name, what do they see? It’s a starting point for credibility, so don’t ruin that.”
11

You often find what you need by not looking.

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  1. Take time to chill out, take breaks, and don’t dedicate yourself to any single thing so hard that you end up burning yourself out. A lot of the time, the thing you’re looking for will show up in your lap when you least expect it, so don’t stress out if you aren’t finding the perfect romantic partner or dream job right now. [11]
    • Focus on yourself and the rest of it will work out. Dating coach John Keegan sees this all the time. He notes, “One of the most common mistakes when looking for a partner is being desperate to find that person. I think people believe that another person will make them whole. It won’t solve any problems if you aren’t fulfilled on your own, though.”
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12

Habits are harder to establish the longer you wait.

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  1. If you want to change, start changing now. Want to be a morning person? Set your alarm for an early time—right now. It’s easy to think that you’ll do something down the line, but life gets in the way and there are many excuses to put things off. If you want to build a habit, start building it now! It’ll be so much easier later on. [12]
    • How to build a habit the right way: Career and executive coach Amber Rosenberg says, “ Be consistent for 21 days to create a new positive habit: take stock each week and assess which of these new practices work for you and which need tweaking. Adjust as needed. After 21 days, it’ll be so much easier to stick with it.”
13

Fear is not something to avoid (or obsess over).

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  1. Don’t get us wrong–you should not ignore fear. However, that doesn’t mean you should listen to it all the time, either. Sometimes, fear is a good sign that you’re approaching a challenge that’s healthy for you. If you always shy away from things that scare you, you’ll miss out on so many opportunities to grow! [13]
    • Exposure to things that scare you is essential. Clinical psychologist William Gardner, PsyD shared this tidbit: “Hesitation and discomfort are normal, but with all fears, you must expose yourself to things that scare you. If you don't, you’ll never develop the knowledge and experience you need to overcome fear.”
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14

Your gut is just one data point.

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  1. Gut feelings matter, but they’re just one piece of any puzzle. It’s important to trust yourself and respect your intuition, but basing all of your behavior on how something makes you feel can be a dangerous game. What happens if your gut fear keeps you from showing up to a first date that could be the love of your life? [14]
    • Investigate why your emotions occur when they do. Family therapist Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT says it’s essential to be curious about how you feel. “If you can maintain a curious stance, be open and interested in the way you react, the thoughts you have, the feelings you experience, you will come to see patterns. Those patterns contain the answers you need to understand yourself.”
15

Forgive people for your sake, not theirs.

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  1. This isn’t to say that you should forgive anything and everything; boundaries are good, and some people aren’t worth your time. But if you can let something go and still respect yourself at the end of the day, you probably should. [15]
    • Learn how to forgive. Professor and psychologist Evan Parks, PsyD explains, “Before you can forgive, you need to know what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is not forgetting what happened and never thinking about the problem again. It also doesn’t mean reconciling with the person who hurt you (especially if they haven’t changed). When we forgive others, we give up our demand that the person who hurt us pay for the injustice against us. Forgiveness is not a one-time act but something we continually do.”
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16

Take risks and get out of your comfort zone.

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  1. It’s good to try new things, even if they aren’t right for you. Travel, meet new people, try new hobbies, and volunteer for roles that don’t always fit you. The best way to grow and learn things about yourself is to push yourself to do things you normally wouldn’t. [16]
    • If you’re struggling to find risks worth taking, follow a risk taker. Life coach Michelle Shahbazyan says, “Look at the people you look up to and see what they do. What do they accomplish? How do they accomplish it? What kind of risks do they take? This is a great way to set yourself on a path to get new ideas and grow.”
17

Self-care is seriously important.

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  1. If all you do is focus on work, school, or whatever other big goal you’re pursuing, you’ll eventually end up burning out or losing track of yourself. Take naps, meditate, get massages, listen to music, and do whatever it is that helps you rejuvenate. [17]
    • You must maintain a good relationship with yourself. Health education specialist Laura Horne, MPH, explains, “Self-care means doing things to take care of our minds, bodies, and souls by engaging in activities that promote well-being and reduce stress. This enhances our ability to live fully, vibrantly, and effectively. The practice of self-care also reminds both you and others that your needs are valid.”
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18

Wear sunscreen.

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  1. Your skin will thank you by the time you’re older. There are very few objectively correct things to do in this world, but wearing sunscreen is one of them. That’s it. Just wear sunscreen if you’re going to go outside for more than a few minutes at a time. [18]
    • Learn how SPF works so you can use it the right way. Dermatologist Margareth Pierre-Louis breaks it down “When it comes to the SPF, that’s how many minutes it can stay on the skin. So for instance, an SPF 30 means that you can have the sunscreen on for 300 minutes before you burn. Burning is bad on its own, but it also increases your risk for skin cancer. So, reapply sunscreen every two hours if you’ll be outside the whole time.”
19

Only you can define what happiness looks like.

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  1. You are completely in charge of what peace and joy looks like for you. Don’t let anyone else’s definition of nirvana draw you off of your course. [19]
    • Find what brings you fulfillment and follow that. Psychotherapist and emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW explains, “A lot of people feel guilty about making themselves happy. It's unbelievable. How many people are raised that if something feels good, it's bad? So that’s number one: find what brings you pleasure (so long as it's not hurting anyone else) and do that. If it makes you happy to exercise, to have tea at night, to light a candle, to call a friend, to go out to a nice dinner, do it. That’s the best way to really get to know yourself and find your purpose.”
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20

Comparing yourself to others is a pointless task.

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  1. You’re the only person worth comparing yourself to. There is no concrete timeline you have to follow in life, and constantly checking in on how other people are developing or growing is going to do nothing but bum you out (or give you a false sense of accomplishment if you’re “ahead” of them). Just focus on you. Take pride in yourself and don’t let other people determine how you feel about you. [20]
    • Be your own most important critic. Cognitive behavioral therapist Jennifer Guttman, PsyD says, “Don’t wait for the outside world to reinforce your successes. You are the best judge of your performance so you should take charge of reinforcing yourself.”
21

Nobody is behaving illogically.

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  1. The complicated and confusing people you come across will be a lot easier to understand if you remember that people have their own internal logic they use to dictate their decisions. When you recognize that, you’ll have a much easier time handling stressful people who confuse you. [21]
    • Try to be aware of what motivates people. Licensed social worker Hyungbum Kang advises that “The people who are not very perceptive are the ones who cannot have the perspective they need to see the big picture. In order to avoid missing something, you have to slow down. Take the time to analyze where people are coming from.”
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22

When in doubt, grab a journal.

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  1. Writing down how you feel is a great way to learn about yourself. If you need help making a decision, write about how you’re feeling about your options. If you need to figure out how to change, write about what you want to do to help that change occur. Basically, writing about anything is a great way to learn and grow. [22]
    • Don’t know what to write? Try this exercise. Crafting expert Renee Day says, “Something that I enjoy is junk journaling. Basically, you take what you would ordinarily throw away at the end of the day and write about it. So, for instance, you might have a receipt from a bookstore, a losing lottery ticket, or a birthday card. You're collecting just random things and then gluing them into a journal and writing about it just to record what you did that day. It helps you be more mindful of how you spend your time.”
23

Always have a book to read.

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  1. Reading is a proven way to improve your mental acuity, reduce stress, improve your intelligence, and even help you sleep better. [23] Even if you’re a slow reader who takes forever to finish a book, just take your time!
    • Get a library card. Seriously. Career librarian Kim Gillingham reminds us, “For the amazing price of free you can access a world of information and experiences. Of course, the library has books, ranging from the latest bestsellers (in physical or e-book form) to centuries-old classics. But on top of that, they have DVDs, video games, computer software, and even passes to local museums. It’s free!”
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24

There are no get-rich-quick tricks or schemes.

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  1. If you want to be wealthy, it takes a lot of time and effort. Whether it’s promises of Bitcoin going to the moon or secret stock market hacks you can only learn if you buy some guru’s course, it’s all nonsense. The only path to wealth is to find something you can get paid to do, do it, and then spend less money than you earn. If you do want to invest , it’s likely wise to stick with index fund ETFs or mutual funds–not risky stocks. [24]
    • Open an IRA! The Individual Retirement Account, or IRA, is the best single tool at your disposal if you want to retire one day. The kick is that you can only invest a little bit every year, so the sooner you start, the better.
    • Don’t forget your 401k. Financial planner Brian Colvert says that “Once you have an IRA, the key thing is to try to maximize your employer contribution in the 401K or retirement plan.”
25

Learn one super unique or strange skill.

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  1. You could learn how to open a beer bottle with a dollar bill , teach yourself how to read palms , or learn how to trick people into thinking you have a magical string . Whatever it is, you can use it as the perfect icebreaker when meeting new people, impressing coworkers, or filling an awkward silence. [25]
    • Professional Magician David Martinez has a simple idea! “Go get a special deck of cards from any magic store. Half of the cards are regular cards, then the other half is the same card over and over. You can do so many simple tricks with one of these decks.”
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26

Develop a good taste for the finer things.

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  1. Life is much more fulfilling if you eat, drink, and enjoy quality. Whenever possible, skip the hot dogs and mac-n-cheese and try to push yourself to eat something new. Listen to classical music. Learn how to dress appropriately for your body shape. When you’re old enough, learn a little bit about wine and spirits so you can hold a conversation at a bar with anybody. These are such simple ways to extract as much richness out of life as possible! [26]
    • How do you develop a palate for something like steak or wine? Sommelier Samuel Bogue offered this guidance: “Like anything, it's one of those things that comes through practice and repetition. Just try different things from your local grocery store or farmers market and try to describe the taste!”

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      References

      1. ↑ https://wkuherald.com/65480/opinion/opinion-its-okay-to-feel-lost-in-college/
      2. ↑ https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-03-04/is-regret-helpful-or-useless/13194344
      3. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_stop_overthinking_your_relationship
      4. ↑ https://www.phoenix.edu/blog/develop-lifelong-learning-mindset.html
      5. ↑ https://www.cnbc.com/2018/05/11/oprah-to-the-class-of-2018-your-job-is-not-who-you-are.html
      6. ↑ https://www.npr.org/2007/05/21/10228634/every-person-deserves-respect
      7. ↑ https://chicagobarfoundation.org/bobservations/people-remember-made-feel/
      8. ↑ https://www.cycj.org.uk/hurt-people-hurt-people-but/
      9. ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/passion_and_perseverance_can_be_key_to_success
      1. ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2007/03/matters
      2. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-find-real-lasting-love-without-looking-for-it/
      3. ↑ https://www.harvardbusiness.org/now-is-the-time-to-instill-habits-that-create-lifelong-learners/
      4. ↑ https://www.inc.com/tommy-mello/truly-confident-leaders-dont-avoid-fear-they-embrace-it.html
      5. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2015/04/01/how-to-know-when-not-to-listen-to-your-gut/
      6. ↑ https://ymi.today/2021/12/why-should-i-forgive-those-who-arent-sorry/
      7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/12/get-out-of-your-comfort-zone-a-guide-for-the-terrified
      8. ↑ https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care
      9. ↑ https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/sunscreen-and-your-morning-routine
      10. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201905/how-can-you-define-your-own-happiness
      11. ↑ https://www.georgetown.edu/news/dont-compare-yourself-to-others/
      12. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/prescriptions-for-life/201201/dont-try-to-reason-with-unreasonable-people
      13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/goodbye-perfect/202401/the-power-of-journaling-for-wisdom-and-connection
      14. ↑ https://www.piedmont.org/living-real-change/health-benefits-of-reading
      15. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolelapin/2021/10/30/my-investing-strategy-index-funds-and-chill/
      16. ↑ https://blogs.salford.ac.uk/business-school/stand-out-from-the-crowd-and-land-your-dream-job/
      17. ↑ https://prachinain.medium.com/what-can-we-learn-from-david-rose-raymond-reddington-and-remy-the-rat-about-good-taste-133672e49802

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