Where Can You Find Friends Online? (& How to Make Those Friendships Last)

The internet is a great way to meet new people and make friends! With so many groups and niches, you’re bound to find someone with similar interests. But how do you start, and how do you make friends online safely? We spoke to therapists Rebecca Tenzer and Ebony Eubanks to bring you the best tips and advice on making online friends. So, keep reading to learn how to turn internet pals into meaningful and long-lasting friendships.

Easy Ways to Make Online Friends

Follow people you admire with similar interests on social media.
Join online groups and forums.
Chat with people online while playing video games.
Make a profile on a friend-dating app like Bumble or Friender.
Sign up for a virtual pen pal service like Slowly or Bottled.

Section 1 of 4:

Where to Find Friends Online

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1
Follow people who interest you on social media. Look for people who share your interests on Instagram , X , TikTok , and other social media platforms, and follow their accounts. These can be people you find when searching for hashtags or who comment on your posts. ^{[1]
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- For example, if you’re really into fashion, you might follow someone who’s into fashion and frequently post images of their outfits.
- If you like baking, you could follow someone who posts images of cakes or cupcakes.
2
Join a niche interest forum or group online. There are many ways to connect with people who share your interests online, which is a great way to meet people who would make good friends. If you already know you have a shared interest, you’ll have something to talk about and bond over right away! ^{[2]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} As Tenzer advises, find online groups on social media to connect with like-minded people. Platforms like Facebook, Reddit , and Meetup.com are excellent options for finding people.
- For example, if you’re an avid knitter, join a knitting forum on Reddit or Facebook or look for a group that meets locally on Meetup.com. If you love to identify birds while hiking, join a bird enthusiast group.
Tip : If possible, try to find a group meant for people in your area. This will make it easier to meet up if you decide to take your friendship with someone offline.

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3
Talk to people in video games you play regularly. If you’re a gamer, use a headset to chat with people in the game. Eubanks explains it’s a great way for people to connect and make friends.
- Popular video games where you might meet people include Fortnite , Overwatch , World of Warcraft , and DOTA .
- Similarly, try watching gamers stream on sites like Twitch and YouTube and participating in the chat.
- Make sure to always be respectful and avoid making rude comments, which could get you banned or blocked from the voice chat.
4
Make a profile on a friend-dating app or website. Friend-dating is a way of finding people who you connect with. Think of it as dating but for friendships! There are numerous friend-dating apps available that make it easy to find people who share your interests. Here are some of the most popular apps to try: ^{[3]
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- Bumble BFF
- Friender
- ATLETO (for people looking for friends who want to play sports with them)
- Meet My Dog (for people seeking fellow dog owner friends)
- Peanut (for moms seeking other mom friends)
- Hey! VINA (for women seeking other women for friends)
5
Connect with someone on a global penpal app. If social media isn’t your thing, try setting yourself up with a pen pal! Rather than sending a letter in the mail the old-fashioned way, these apps help you connect with people from around the world digitally. Send virtual letters and notes without sharing any personal information. Here are some apps you can try:
- Slowly
- Bottled
- VoicePenPal
- InterPals
- Friender
6
Leave positive comments on other people’s posts. Saying nice things is a great way to get a potential friend’s attention and make yourself stand out. If you’re involved with a special interest forum or group, make nice comments on other people’s posts. Compliment them or ask them questions about their post. ^{[4]
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- For example, if someone you follow on Instagram posts a picture of a new book they’ve just started reading, you might comment, “I’ve been wanting to read that! How do you like it so far?”
- If someone posts an image of their new haircut, compliment them by saying, “Omg! You look amazing!”

Section 2 of 4:

How to Start Talking to Friends Online

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1
Send a message to a potential friend to see if they’d like to talk more. If you find someone you think you might have things in common with, such as in a friend-finding app or online forum, try sending them a private message to see if they’d like to chat with you. Keep it simple and direct for best results. ^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- For example, you might write something like, “Hey, I was checking out your profile, and it seems like we have a lot in common. Send me a message if you think so, too!”
2
Ask interesting questions to keep the conversation going. If you really like talking to this potential friend, let them know by asking them engaging and fun questions that keep the conversation moving! Ask open-ended questions that require more than a one-word response, and try to focus the questions on your shared interest. ^{[6]
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- For example, some questions you might ask someone who regularly plays the same video game as you include:
  - Who’s your favorite character in this video game?
  - What was your first reaction to the game when it came out?
  - What do you think of the new expansion?
3
Continue chatting outside the platform. If you chat with certain people regularly in a video game or on a forum, consider taking the conversation to a different platform. Maybe you share your other social media handles or exchange contact information to text or email each other later. ^{[7]
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- If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your phone number but still want to chat with them, send a text or phone call through Instagram, Discord , or Facebook Messenger .
- Never share personal information with a stranger online, such as credit card numbers, social security numbers, specific locations, or passwords. ^{[8]
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4
Find out if they want to meet in person if you live near each other. After you’ve talked with the person a few times, you might decide that you’d like to spend time with them in person. Now, this is not a requirement—there are plenty of online friends who’ve never seen each other IRL—but it could be fulfilling. ^{[9]
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- Try saying something like, “I’d love to meet for coffee sometime and talk more about movies with you. When are you in town next?”
- If you or your friend aren’t ready to meet in person, that’s okay! Be respectful of each other’s boundaries. Connecting online is just as great!
Tip : Keep in mind that if the person turns you down, that doesn’t mean they never want to meet up. Leave it alone for a few weeks and see if they bring it up. If they don’t or they say “no” again after the next time you ask, they might not be interested in meeting in person.

Section 3 of 4:

How to Build a Meaningful Friendship Online

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1
Know what you’re looking for. Keep in mind what you hope to gain from an online friendship. Maybe you want to expand your social circle, find people with common interests, or simply learn new perspectives. No matter what the case may be, knowing what you’re looking for in a friend can help you attract someone who will meet that need.
- For example, say you want to learn new perspectives. You might focus your energy on social platforms with lots of opinions, like Reddit and X.
- If you want to meet people with similar interests, you might focus more on platforms like Discord, Twitch, and Instagram.
2
Participate regularly in multiple online communities. Making friends is sometimes a numbers game, much like dating. The more potential ways you have for meeting people, the better your chances are of meeting someone you’d like to spend time with. Comment and post regularly in the groups that you’ve joined to increase your chances of having a positive interaction with someone. ^{[10]
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- People are also much more likely to notice you if you participate in multiple groups.
3
Share a little about yourself at a time. Talking too much and too deeply about yourself right away could be overwhelming. So, as your friendship grows, share more details about your life. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, but do this a little at a time. Start with the basics about yourself and save your deepest secrets for once you’ve gotten to know each other better. ^{[11]
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- For example, you might start by sharing about where you grew up, what kind of music you like, and what your hobbies are. Then, once you know each other better, you might talk with them about career choices, relationship issues, and other personal problems.
4
Give the other person your full attention when they’re talking. Being a good listener is an essential component of friendship. Listening intently to what they have to say (and responding to it) is a great way to show them that you value them and are interested in what they have to say. Here are some ways you can show you’re listening: ^{[12]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Look them in the eyes when they talk.
- Put away your phone and other potential distractions.
- Nod to show that you understand what they’re saying.
- Use leading phrases to show that you’re listening, like “Right,” “I see,” and “Go on.”
- Ask questions if something they say is unclear, such as, “What did you mean when you said that you couldn’t play last night?”
The amount of time and energy you spend communicating with someone should be equal to the amount of time and energy they invest. If you’re always the one sending the first message, asking all the questions, doing all the talking, or even writing longer responses than them most of the time, the investment is not equal. ^{[13]
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Tip : A lack of investment on their end might be because they’re not as interested in cultivating a friendship or simply because you’re not a good match. Either way, it’s best to take a step back and take a break from communicating with them for a while.
As Tenzer explains, “Authenticity is key to forming lasting friendships.” Focus on being your authentic self . If people dig what you have to offer, they’ll let you know it. After all, you want to attract people who like you for you, so don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. ^{[14]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}

Section 4 of 4:

How to Stay Safe Online

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1
Keep your privacy settings high and think before you post. Avoid sharing personal information and passwords with anyone you talk to online. ^{[15]
X
Research source} Even if they seem to have a compelling reason why you should, don’t do it! It’s always best to be wary.
- For example, someone might ask for your account password on a game you both play and claim it’s because they want to change your settings to improve your gameplay. However, giving them your password puts your personal information at risk.
- Being safe online is especially important if you’re a minor. Always use caution, and if something doesn’t feel right, go to an adult right away.
2
Tell someone you’re meeting up with an online friend. A certain degree of caution is always advisable when meeting up with people you’ve met online. If you decide to meet up with an internet friend IRL, tell someone in your real life you trust about it. Tell them where you're meeting up, who the person is, and when you’ll be home. Also make sure to: ^{[16]
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State of Michigan
Official website for the State of Michigan
Go to source}
- Meet in a public place. ^{[17]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
  Largest anti-sexual assault organization in the US providing support and advocacy for survivors
  Go to source}
- Never leave food or drinks unattended.
- Take a friend or family member with you the first time you meet someone.
- Arrange to call a friend or family member once you’re safely home.
3
Avoid drinking alcohol or taking a drink from someone you met online. Even the most innocent-looking people can be the most sinister. Don’t leave your drinks unattended when meeting someone for the first time. Something can easily be slipped into your drink, so don’t drink anything that’s been out of your sight or hasn’t been prepared by you. ^{[18]
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Trustworthy Source
State of Michigan
Official website for the State of Michigan
Go to source}
- The same goes for food—don’t eat anything that hasn’t been prepared by you or a restaurant or has been unattended.
Tip : It's fine to just say, "No thanks!" if someone offers you a drink. If someone pressures you to drink, it’s probably a sign that the person has bad intentions and won’t make a good friend.
4
Talk to someone if you see something online that upsets you. The internet can be a bizarre and scary place. If you’re interacting with someone online and they send you inappropriate and/or unwanted photos, videos, or messages, talk to someone about it. Block the user to prevent them from contacting you again. ^{[19]
X
Trustworthy Source
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
Largest anti-sexual assault organization in the US providing support and advocacy for survivors
Go to source}
- If needed, go to the authorities. Avoid deleting or removing messages in case you’d like to press charges.

How Can You Forge High-Quality Friendships Online?

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How can I make friends online safely?

Scott Nelson, JD
Police Sergeant, Mountain View Police Department
Scott Nelson is a Police Sergeant with the Mountain View Police Department in California. He is also a practicing attorney for Goyette & Associates, Inc. where he represents public employees with a myriad of labor issues throughout the state. He has over 15 years of experience in law enforcement and specializes in digital forensics. Scott has received extensive training through the National Computer Forensics Institute and holds forensic certifications from Cellbrite, Blackbag, Axiom Forensics, and others. He earned a Master of Business Administration from the California State University Stanislaus and a Juris Doctorate from the Laurence Drivon School of Law.

Scott Nelson, JD

Police Sergeant, Mountain View Police Department

Expert Answer

Bring a friend along with you to meet the person. Even if they can't stay the whole time or show up later, having another person there with you will keep you safe.

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Don’t give up if the first few people you make aren’t good matches for you. Tenzer explains “that making friends is a gradual process, and it's normal to encounter some challenges along the way. Be patient, persistent, and open to new opportunities.”

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After you know you can trust someone, you can continue chatting on another platform like Discord. Discord specifically allows voice chatting, which could be safer than giving them your phone number.

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Where Can You Find Friends Online? (& How to Make Those Friendships Last)

Easy Ways to Make Online Friends

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Where to Find Friends Online

How to Start Talking to Friends Online

How to Build a Meaningful Friendship Online

How to Stay Safe Online

How Can You Forge High-Quality Friendships Online?

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