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Create an unforgettable impression on anyone you meet
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A first impression can have a huge effect on how the other person views you. Whether you’re interviewing for a new job, meeting a new client, going on a first date, or introducing yourself to a potential friend, we're here to help you put your best foot forward. Dressing appropriately for the context, smiling, making eye contact, and being positive and kind toward the other person are great ways to start. Read on for all the best tips from relationship experts about how to make a great first impression.
Things You Should Know
- Prepare a few questions and talking points beforehand so you can avoid lulls in the conversation and make a new connection.
- Dress appropriately for the context, and when you get there, smile, stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact with the other person.
- Practice active listening by nodding along and restating what the other person says.
Steps
Section 1 of 3:
How to Make a Good First Impression
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Prepare questions and talking points. Preparing a few topics or questions before meeting someone new can help keep you on track and avoid lulls in the conversation. Think about who you’re meeting and what you’d like to get out of the interaction. [1] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- If you’d like to make a potential friend think you’re fun, prepare a few hilarious stories you could weave into conversation.
- Think about what parts of your environment you could point out. At a party, you could ask if the food is good.
- Before a job interview, think of a few questions you could ask about the company or the person you’re interviewing with. [2] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- If you’re interviewing someone or meeting someone you admire, try to ask unique questions that dig deeper than what most people tend to ask.
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Dress appropriately for the occasion. People make their first judgments within 1/10 of a second. [3] X Trustworthy Source Association for Psychological Science Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences Go to source One of the first things people see is how you dress. Choose an outfit based on the context of the meeting and how comfortable you’ll feel wearing it.
- When you’re on a first date, matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis recommends “wearing something that you definitely feel comfortable in, that makes you feel good” and “look good.” [4]
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Expert Source
Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert Expert Interview. 20 December 2019 - In professional or academic settings, stick to clean understated clothes without holes, wrinkles, or tears. [5] X Research source
Advertisement - When you’re on a first date, matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis recommends “wearing something that you definitely feel comfortable in, that makes you feel good” and “look good.” [4]
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Maria Avgitidis
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Arrive on time or a few minutes early. When you tell someone you’ll meet them at a certain time, you’re making them a promise. Being punctual can show the other person you’re dependable, disciplined, and respectful. [6] X Research source Leave at least 5 minutes early to allow for traffic and other obstacles out of your control.
- If you’re going to an interview or a first date, consider arriving 10 to 15 minutes early to relax and center yourself. [7] X Research source
- If you’re meeting a potential friend or a colleague, come to an agreement with them about what time and place work best for you both.
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Make eye contact with the other person. Matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis says that “A smile really does go a long way. It tells people that you're friendly.” [8] X Expert Source Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert Expert Interview. 20 December 2019 Establish eye contact right before you begin talking. When listening to the other person, try to maintain eye contact for about 4 to 5 seconds at a time. [9] X Research source- Eye contact is also an important way to connect and communicate non-verbally with the other person. [10] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- Try to maintain eye contact 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening. [11] X Research source
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Remember to smile. Smiling can make you seem courteous, likable, and competent. [12] X Research source However, don’t try to fake a smile—other people can detect when you do. [13] X Research source Instead, visualize something that makes you happy to channel positive energy into the present moment. [14] X Research source
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Use body language to appear open and confident. Your body language can communicate how comfortable you feel in a situation. [17] X Research source To look open and confident, keep your head up, stand up straight, and keep your hands visible. [18] X Research source
- Matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis says that “sometimes we like someone and we become anxious… we do subconscious things to close off [like] cross our arms [or] turn away.” [19]
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Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert Expert Interview. 20 December 2019 Instead, face the other person and let your arms rest at your sides. - When meeting a client or someone in a professional setting, set the tone of the meeting by giving them a strong handshake .
- Try to avoid engaging in nervous habits like biting your nails.
- Matchmaker and dating expert Maria Avgitidis says that “sometimes we like someone and we become anxious… we do subconscious things to close off [like] cross our arms [or] turn away.” [19]
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Use small talk to find something in common. Short, casual interactions can make you and the other person happier and more likely to feel like you belong. [20] X Research source Try to select topics that are tailored to your conversation partner—the more information you can find out about them, the more you have to talk about. [21] X Research source
- For example, if they say they went to a Taylor Swift concert last weekend, you could ask “What was your favorite part of the show?” or “I love her! What’s your favorite album?”
- If they’re distracted by something interesting, talk about it. Go with the flow and share whatever they are interested in together.
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Be your authentic self. Whether you’re going on a date, interviewing for a new job, or meeting a potential new friend, you have so much to bring to the table. Talk about the things you like, and try to avoid pretending to be someone else. [22] X Research source
- In a professional setting, try to share something low-stakes with the other person, like what you did last weekend or a new hobby you’re into. [23] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
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Be positive and empathetic. A positive attitude can reduce your stress and improve your relationships with others. [24] X Research source Be empathetic when another person shares something personal with you, allow yourself to laugh during difficult times, and try to chase away negative self-talk that may make you doubt yourself. [25] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- If possible, avoid having to make first impressions when you are feeling low—a negative mood could make others view you as unfriendly. [26] X Trustworthy Source Science Direct Online archive of peer-reviewed research on scientific, technical and medical topics Go to source
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Listen attentively to the other person. Most people love to talk about themselves, and actively listening can make them feel heard, understood, and respected. [27] X Research source When someone’s talking, nod, restate what they’re saying, and try to avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences. [28] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- To restate, say something like, “What happened after Josh called you back?” or “What were you thinking when she apologized?”
- Ask open-ended questions that will allow them to elaborate on their thoughts, like “What happened when you moved back in with him?”
- Conversations are all about give and take. If the other person starts to look distracted or bored, you might be talking too much—try asking them a question.
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Follow up with them after you meet. If you make a great connection with someone, ask to exchange contact info and send a follow-up text or email about how nice it was to meet them. [29] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- If you finished a job interview, send them a thank-you note and tell them how excited you are about the job opportunity.
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Section 3 of 3:
Recovering from a Bad First Impression
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Accept it and decide whether to take action. Everyone makes mistakes, and you don’t have to please everyone you meet. If the impression you made didn’t seem like a big deal, it may be best to let it go and move on. [33] X Research source If you made a bad impression on someone at a party or someone on the street, then maybe the best response is giving no response at all. [34] X Research source
- Ask your friends or the other people who were there what they thought of the interaction. If they didn’t think anything of it, you probably have nothing to worry about.
- The next time you interact with that person, take a deep breath, smile, and be yourself. Any misunderstandings will smooth over with time.
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Admit your mistake and apologize if necessary. If you decide to apologize, give a short explanation for why you might have been off your game when you met them. [35] X Research source
- You might say “I’m sorry for the joke I told, and I didn't mean to offend you” or “I’m sorry if I came on too strong, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” [36] X Research source
- Try not to over-apologize for a dicey first meeting—this might put the other person in the uncomfortable position of having to reassure you. [37] X Research source
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Focus on the future and be consistent over time. Overcoming a bad first impression takes time and consistent positive interactions. [38] X Research source Being kind, positive, and fun over time can allow the other person to reinterpret that first interaction as just a blip in the past.
- To focus on the future, think about how you can do things differently next time you meet someone new.
- Take time to practice self-care and plan things that can help you feel more positive about yourself.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionDoes my appearance affect someone's first impression of me?Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.It can, so put effort into your outfit. Wear things that you feel comfortable and confident in.
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QuestionI'm 14, what advice do you have to help me make friends at a party?Community AnswerJust walk up to people introduce yourself and don't sit in a corner. Talk about things you have in common, don't try to be too witty or the life of the party unless that comes naturally to you. It helps to have a friend you know, to break the ice, but it's not essential. The sooner you learn to talk to new people in party situations, the easier it will be for you in the future.
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QuestionHow can I fit in and not be too popular in a big new school?Community AnswerFind a small group of people with whom you get along well and share common interests with and stick with them. You should also try to interact with others in the school, but establishing a solid group of friends quickly is important.
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Tips
- If you're feeling nervous before you meet someone, take a few deep breaths beforehand to relax.Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about dating, check out our in-depth interview with Maria Avgitidis .
References
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2012/09/first-impression
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2012/11/first-impressions
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-many-seconds-to-a-first-impression
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019
- ↑ https://www.coursera.org/articles/what-to-wear-to-an-interview
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/etiquette/importance-of-punctuality/
- ↑ https://ung.edu/career-services/online-career-resources/interview-well/tips-for-a-successful-interview.php
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5390711/
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/eye_contact_dont_make_these_mistakes
- ↑ https://www.waldenu.edu/online-bachelors-programs/bs-in-psychology/resource/the-power-of-smiling
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201605/the-9-superpowers-your-smile
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2022/09/16/1123478607/starting-new-job-right
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2022/09/16/1123478607/starting-new-job-right
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/spycatcher/201108/body-language-basics
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/body-language-tricks-appear-more-confident-2016-3#-5
- ↑ Maria Avgitidis. Matchmaker & Dating Expert. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550613502990
- ↑ https://time.com/6280607/small-talk-tips-benefits/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201810/how-be-yourself-in-five-simple-steps
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/07/how-to-get-comfortable-being-yourself-at-work
- ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103110002568
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2012/11/first-impressions
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2013/10/the-power-of-restraint-always-leave-them-wanting-more
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2012/11/first-impressions
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/am-i-right/201302/the-power-first-impressions
- ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/9-ways-to-fix-a-bad-first-impression.html
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-recover-from-a-bad-first-impression/
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-recover-from-a-bad-first-impression/
- ↑ https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-recover-from-a-bad-first-impression/
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/9-ways-to-fix-a-bad-first-impression.html
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/9-ways-to-fix-a-bad-first-impression.html
About This Article
Article Summary
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To make a good first impression, make sure to look your best by dressing appropriately for the occasion, which will help you feel confident and relaxed. When you meet someone, greet them in a way that fits the situation, like a handshake for business meetings, and be sure to make eye contact and smile. Then, show the person you’re meeting that you are engaged in your conversation by actively listening to what they are saying, and asking them questions that will allow them to elaborate on their thoughts. For more ways to make a good first impression, like how to communicate with body language, read on!
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- "It is incredible, such a great article. All the points make sense. Definitely this article should gain a Oscar or something. It helped me a lot. I have read a lot of similar articles, but this is the most complete, with examples pretty helpful. Big kudos to the writer." ..." more
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