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When most of your day is spent surrounded by other boys, meeting girls can be quite a challenge, but it's not impossible. To have the most success, you’ll need to think outside the box and get away from your school grounds. Find a fun hangout spot, be sociable , and don’t get discouraged. Your perseverance will pay off and you’ll soon be meeting lots of girls.
Steps
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Spend time in social settings. Find a social place with a relaxed, conversational atmosphere and set yourself up so you can see who comes and goes. Cafes, pools, and ice cream parlors are all great places to hang out. If the weather is good, take advantage of the outdoors; people love to hang out in sunny places.
- Joining clubs or activities outside of school that involve both boys and girls can be a great way to meet new people. You could consider joining a sports team, volunteering at a local charity, or taking classes at a community center, for instance.
- Find a cafe with a shared table. Don’t just sit down next to a girl you’re interested in. Say, “Hi, do you mind if I sit here?” This way you’ll be able to initiate a conversation.
- Avoid noisy places. Concerts and malls are fun, but it’s hard to hold a conversation over the noise and there are often lots of distractions.
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Visit an independent movie theatre. People often hang out in the lobby after a show, so you’ll have a chance to interact with girls there. Social events hosted by local facilities are always a good place to meet new people. You’ll also have an easy conversation starter - the movie you both just watched.Advertisement
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Hang out at a teen center. More and more cities are developing centers just for teenagers and young adults. [1] X Research source These are great facilities for meeting girls your age, while also engaging in some fun activities. Take some time to find out if there’s a teen center near you, and work out the easiest way to get there.
- Bring some friends along with you. You’ll appreciate the company, and you’ll have someone to talk to if you don’t meet any girls. Don’t bring more than two friends; large groups are intimidating and will make it harder for you to interact with girls.
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Go to a party. Find out if any of your friends are hosting a party, and ask if you can attend. If your friends are having more success meeting girls, you can leverage this to your advantage by having one of them be your wingman .
- Don’t engage in underage drinking! If you do and you get caught, you might land up with a misdemeanor. [2] X Research source
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Get a job where girls work. Find out where people your age work, and apply for a job there. Try scooping ice cream, washing cars, or working as a barista. A social working environment is ideal, as you’ll get to chat to your co-workers and make friends.
- As a bonus, working will give you extra money to spend. Use this as your date fund and store some away as savings.
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Attend a school mixer. If your school has a sister school, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to attend joint social events. Make sure you know if there’s a mixer coming up, and find a way to get there. Use the flow of the gathering to your advantage, finding opportunities to talk to girls one-on-one or in small groups. You can do this by:
- Making trips to the snack bar. Start a one-on-one conversation with a girl with a joke or a comment on the food. [3] X Research source
- Paying attention to conversations nearby. If you hear a group discussing a topic that interests you, join the group with a quick conversation starter like, “Did I hear you say you play tennis? I love tennis!” or “That’s awesome! I was also at that game.”
- Smiling. It may seem silly, but if you notice a girl looking your way, throwing a smile in her direction makes you more approachable. [4] X Research source If you get a smile back, walk over and talk to her.
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Join a co-ed club. Meeting girls with similar interests to you can be made easier by joining a club. Make sure you find a club that interests you; you shouldn't join a club just so you can meet girls. Tennis clubs, hiking clubs, dance clubs, and card clubs are all good choices.
- Before joining a club, see if they have any open events that you can attend. This will give you a better sense of what the club environment is like and if you’ll be likely to meet girls there.
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Play a competitive sport. Not all schools are single gender, so you’ll definitely compete against some co-ed schools. When you go to another school’s campus you’ll have a chance to meet the girls who go to there. If they’re also playing the sport you’re playing, you already have something in common so striking up a conversation should be easy.
- If you see a girl make a good play, pay her a compliment. Say, “That was a great shot!” or “Well played!”
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Start a conversation with a friendly greeting. Make eye contact, walk over, and introduce yourself. Keep your tone light and casual. Try to be as friendly as possible, making it clear that you’re just looking to meet someone new.
- For example, “Hi, my name’s Fred. I keep seeing you at this cafe. Is this your favorite place to hang out?”
- Don’t get discouraged by rejection. Sometimes now is not a good time to chat, or she’s not interested in meeting new people. Not all of your conversations will get past introductions; that’s okay!
- When you meet a girl, be confident and approach her with a smile to try and strike up a conversation.
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Listen intently. When you’re talking to a girl, you should give her your full attention. This means listening closely to what she is saying and being genuinely interested in what she is telling you. You can employ active listening techniques to improve your ability to listen to her and really hear what she is saying. [5] X Research source Some of these techniques include:
- Maintaining eye contact. Eye contact shows that you’re paying attention to her. If you’re looking at your phone, or off into the distance you’ll come off as disinterested and rude.
- Nodding and offering little encouragements. Say, “Mhmm,” or “Oh!” or “Fascinating!”
- Reflecting and paraphrasing. Try to put what she said in your own words by using phrases like, “If I understand what you’re saying…” or “This sounds as though it’s important to you…”
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Pay attention to body language. Nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. You can get a good sense of how someone feels about you by looking for clues in their posture and movements.
- Fidgeting might indicate anxiousness or a desire to get away. [6] X Research source If her eyes keep flitting back and forth and her feet are shuffling she probably wants to leave. End the conversation gracefully by saying, “Anyway, I should go. It was great to meet you.”
- Blushing and laughter are good signs. If you can make a girl laugh with your jokes, or if she blushes easily around you, this could mean she is romantically interested in you.
- Physical contact shows interest. If she touches you on the forearm or shoulder it might mean she is attracted to you.
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Compliment her. A compliment goes a long way to winning someone’s trust and affection. Remember to be sincere and specific.
- For example, say, “That dress really brings out the color in your eyes! You must have a great sense of fashion.”
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Avoid pick-up lines. They’re funny, they’re silly, and they simply don’t work. If you do a search for pick-up line on the internet, most of the sites that show up are for jokes or humor. Pick-up lines aren’t serious; you’ll want girls to take you seriously if you want to build a relationship.
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Tips
- Don't become immediately romantically involved with the girls you meet. Female friends will put you in contact with more females, and if you get a good reputation with a group of girls they may set you up for success with others.Thanks
- Don't talk about yourself all the time. Ask questions. Get to know the person you’re talking to. If you talk about yourself too much, she'll think that you're full of yourself, or disinterested in her.Thanks
- If you have a female friend (or relative), ask her for advice on how to act when meeting new girls.Thanks
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Warnings
- If you’re under 18, avoid online dating sites. It is much safer to meet girls in person than over the internet!Thanks
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about meeting someone, check out our in-depth interview with Laura Bilotta .
References
- ↑ https://youthtoday.org/2005/11/teen-centers-complete-with-teens/
- ↑ https://www.collegiatetimes.com/news/virginia_tech/misdemeanors-affect-job-prospects-study-shows/article_c2b13db8-ed70-5cfb-9c5f-3b9bb485cada.html
- ↑ https://motto.time.com/4809102/meet-new-people-at-events/
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/8-ways-to-be-the-most-approachable-person-in-the-room_us_56539460e4b0879a5b0c3310
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/201108/body-language-basics
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