Q&A for How to Accept Yourself As an LGBT Muslim

Before you come out, you should really figure out if it is safe. If you risk being attacked, you shouldn't tell anyone. If you're going to do it anyway, just be direct about it and take one thing at a time. Have a conversation with your parents where you tell them you're bisexual. If it goes relatively well, wait at least a week for them to become comfortable with this, then tell them about your feelings for your friend.

You can always adopt a child. You shouldn't marry someone you don't want to be with just for the sake of having a child. If you are gay, accept it and find someone who loves you for who you are; then you can adopt a child together.

Allah does not require anyone to have children (although doing so is highly encouraged in the Quran and by many Islamic scholars). However, gay couples could still have children per means of adoption, sperm donation, or even if one partner was transgender and pre-op. Additionally, there are many straight Muslim couples who cannot have children due to reasons such as infertility, and Allah does not say He will punish them for not having children.

There's no one "right time" to come out - it's different for everyone, and unfortunately, there are some people you may never be able to come out to. However, you might want to seek out LGBT-friendly groups (whether in person or online) and talk to those people about how you're feeling, to have the support of people around you and potentially help you figure out your identity. You can also try to gauge the reactions of your family, friends, and Islamic community about LGBT+ people, such as by mentioning a gay, bisexual, or transgender person who's been in the news lately and seeing whether the reaction is positive, neutral, or negative. Regardless of your identity, however, you should only come out when you feel ready and safe to do so, and not like you're putting yourself at risk of being harmed or thrown out of your home or community.

Keep thinking it over. There's no rush to decide how you do or do not identify when it comes to your sexual orientation. If you decide you are bisexual, remember that Allah made you this way, and Allah does not make mistakes. However, you may have to be careful when telling other Muslims about your sexuality, as not everyone will be accepting.

Don't listen to this. Allah loves all of humanity. If you're still having suicidal thoughts, call a suicide hotline. If you have hurt yourself, call the emergency services.

Stay in the closet (meaning, don't reveal your true self). Although hiding your identity isn't something that's easy or desirable, it isn't safe to come out as LGBT+ in a country that has extreme laws that can cause you to be imprisoned or worse. Consider making a plan to move to a safer area if this is possible. For the time-being, it is best to keep your identity to yourself and to be extremely careful about whom you tell; assume you can trust very few people. It is not worth the risk.

Yes! There's plenty of trans women out there - Muslim or otherwise - who don't undergo surgery. Your genitals don't define your gender or the way you dress, so feel free to express your gender in whatever way feels most comfortable to you.

If you think your parents will intervene but are not sure, the best thing to do is be honest and flat out ask the parents. If they don't agree with the marriage, wait till your both old enough and financially stable enough to leave and get married on your own without there consent find two friends to be a witness to the proposal and Insha'Allah you two will live happily together.

You cannot change your sexuality, only develop a new one as you mature. Allah made you the way that you are and there's nothing you can do about it but accept it. Your mom may not be trying to hate you but instead doesn't understand the concept. Try explaining it to her in a nice way and make sure she understands your sexuality does not change your personality and that you still love her.

Of course you should but only if you think its safe for you to do so. A lot of the same rules apply in gay marriage in Islam as they do in straight marriage. You should research before trying. Make sure you understand you and your partner's roles in your relationship. Insha'Allah you find the perfect one for you.

Speak to a trusted religious leader or scholar for guidance on how to perform Hajj or Umrah as an LGBT individual, and to ensure that you understand the rituals and practices involved. Be aware of the laws and regulations of the country in which you will be performing Hajj or Umrah, as some countries may have laws that criminalize homosexuality or have strict laws related to public behavior and dress.

It is haram, but when you know it is a sin, and you ask for forgiveness, you should be OK. Adopting a child is not haram. It just is not the same as in other religions. If you adopt a child, you just can’t kiss them if they are opposite gender.