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How do you detach and still love?

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Life Coach
Michelle Shahbazyan is a Life Coach, Author, and Speaker based in Los Angeles, California. She is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service. She has over 15 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. Michelle has helped thousands of clients achieve peace, fulfillment, and a healthier mindset. Her ultimate goal is to provide her clients with the tools, perspectives, and resources needed to create the life they desire. Michelle specializes in supporting individuals and couples with a wide array of concerns, including depression, anxiety, love and relationship issues, ADHD, grief, stress, anger management, and career planning. Her approach is informed by neuroscience, anthropology, sociology, and behavioral biology, ensuring that the strategies she develops with clients are both effective and enduring. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University.

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Being emotionally detached can be a good thing. If you're always emotionally involved with everyone in your life, it can be overwhelming and exhausting. Try to focus on the positives in your life and the positive qualities in other people so you feel more emotionally stable.

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Question

I've been dumped. I still desperately want it to work. I'm sure he still loves me, but in his thinking, we are on different paths and he's detached. He still has sex with me time to time. What do I do?

John Defazo

Community Answer

You've been dumped. Now you're just easy convenient sex. Tell him if he loves you then he needs to step up. Set the boundaries. You're setting yourself up to get hurt if you stick around. Give him and yourself space. If he does love you, he'll tell you when he's ready. Don't assume a dying relationship is worth holding on to just because you want more.

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Question

This all sounds great but the person i am trying to get away from is in the same school as me and is in all of my classes. What can I do to get away?

Community Answer

Detachment is about a mental state, not a physical one. Thus, even if someone who bothers you is physically near you, it's up to you to create a barrier by not engaging with them or by not letting them bother you when they're nearby. It takes practice, so no time like the present to begin; start by being polite but not overly friendly.

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Question

Why does my ex still call just to let me know he's not interested?

Community Answer

It sounds as though he is still interested in you and he wants to know if you still care about him.

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My husband of 31 years has cheated on me and has two children with his mistress. He is now a double amputee and cannot perform in bed any longer. How can I rid myself of him?

Community Answer

Get evidence of his adultery and get a lawyer. Divorce him. Make sure that you tell all your friends and family about what he did so that they don't make you look like the villain for leaving a disabled man. Cut off all contact with him if you don't have children. If you do, maintain as little contact as possible. This will help you move on in life.

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How do I detach from a person who keeps trying to interact with me?

Community Answer

Either you can tell the person upfront that you can't interact with them or you just start avoiding them every time they come towards you. They will get the message.

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I just found out that a classmate is dating my crush and because of that every action of mine is different. How can I detach myself from him?

Community Answer

I want to tell you everything will be okay and eventually you will get over them and be back to normal but everyone is different. You need to take space from your crush and the classmate so you can heal or you can hang out with your crush more and eventually you won't like him because you will see him as a really good best friend.

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