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What is disrespectful behavior in a relationship?

Laura Richer
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Laura Richer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and the Founder of Anchor Light Therapy Collective, a multi-disciplinary mental health counseling clinic in Seattle, Washington. With more than ten years of experience in the mental health sector, she specializes in working with couples and individuals and supporting them in becoming empowered to direct their destiny. Laura holds a BA in English from Western Washington University and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She also received her Hypnotherapy Practitioner Training from Bastyr University, Couples Counseling Certification from The Gottman Institute, and Master Life Coach Certification from Seattle Life Coach Training. Laura is the host of the podcast Holding Ground which explores anything and everything in the world of mental health and positive psychology.

Laura Richer

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Expert Answer

A disrespectful partner won't respect your wishes when you say "no," and will keep pushing for whatever they want. Overall, they'll treat you in a way that makes you feel unseen or unvalued.

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Question

I asked a woman from Leipzig "How is it going?" She replied that she was stressed. Maybe Germans respond differently, but it seems like a sign of respect. What do you think?

Lea Musiolek

Community Answer

There is a big cultural difference: in Germany, we only ask that question when we really want to know how the other person is, and the other person will usually answer honestly. For us, it is a sign of closeness and genuine interest, not just a greeting, and waiters and cashiers in Germany would never ask you how you are. However, when somebody asks us how we are and we have told them, the normal thing here is to ask them how they are too. The lady from Leipzig was answering normally for a German, but being slightly rude by not asking how you were.

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Question

How can I get away from someone in my family who disrespects me every day?

Anonymousfigure

Community Answer

You can distance yourself from disrespectful family members by: Not trying to start a conversation with them; only going near them when you have to; talk about the problem with them directly.

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Question

My boyfriend loves me. I have no doubt. However, he is very impatient, and when I try to talk to him he doesn't seem interested in what I have to say, or he wants me to speed up the story to get to the point.

Ben (AB)

Community Answer

He is most likely just an impatient person. Some people are that way. Talk to him about how this makes you feel and how you wish he could be more patient when listening to you.

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My partner uses derogatory and demeaning language toward me, threatens to leave and refuse to engage to shut me out. I tend shut down for a day or two thereafter. How do I manage his behaviour and react better?

Jenni Sing

Community Answer

Tell him how you feel. Maybe he doesn't understand. If that doesn't work, don't stay with him. You can't manage what he does, and whatever he says is not your fault.

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I'm the chair of a volunteer committee in my community. Another person on the committee has let it be known that she does not feel respected by me and is now ghosting me. What should I do?

Jenni Sing

Community Answer

Reflect on what you've done while interacting with her. Ask her why she doesn't feel respected. Work together to find a fair solution.

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