Q&A for How to Write to a Pen Pal for the First Time

There are probably a lot of things you shouldn't say, but some basics to avoid are getting too personal too fast, asking them personal questions, or just coming on too strong.

If you are using a pen pal service, you'll likely get some people who choose you. But it is easier to pick people out and initiate with them.

You probably don't need to write your address in the letter, but you can write a return address on the top left of the envelope. If you are writing through an online pen pal service or through email, there is no need to include an address.

It is easiest to use a service that helps you look through profiles and find people you could connect with. You can visit http://www.penpalworld.com/index.asp or search for other pen pal services. The "right" pen pal is just someone you can talk to easily, so find someone you think you will connect with.

I like Global Penfriends - they are well established and have a great database of pen pals. They specialize in postal and internet friends.

You can ask them when their birthday is, or you can send them a gift whenever you want just to show them you care about them.

Instead of waiting for a letter, send them the letter first. It isn't a waiting game, once you have a pen pal, jump in and start learning about each other!

Ask them why they dislike you and see if you can do anything to fix the problem (without changing yourself too much). Otherwise, just find a new pen pal.

I would say it depends on where you're finding your penpals. If you're penpals with an incarcerated person, then yes, that would probably be necessary. I would suggest using Global Penfriends if you don't already have a penpal.

Be sure not to just share information your pen pal could easily find online; talk about some of your favorite places, what the weather is like, what you like most about living in Nepal, and perhaps include some pictures of your area and things you like to do. Talk about what your typical day is like, the foods you enjoy and the sights you see.

If they had any questions, you could answer those. If not, you could talk about how you enjoyed your time together, and ask any questions you didn’t think to ask. Since you’ve met them in person, you can ask some more personal questions, just be respectful. Little drawings, book pages, and anything small that fits with their interests are always a good idea.

Absolutely! But it would be even cooler to send them things about your culture. Just like it would be cool for you if you got things related to your penpal's culture.

You can use a service called penpal.me, where you can send physical postcards without ever having to reveal your address. Penpal.me send all postcards on behalf of their members, so their address is never revealed.

It's probably best to wait a while and get to know the person a little before sending gifts.