How to Reconnect with a Virgo Man

Co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: June 21, 2024 Fact Checked

Virgo men (born between August 23 and September 22) are kind, methodical, and attentive in relationships—no wonder you’re looking to reconnect! Perhaps you’ve been sensing distance in your relationship lately, or maybe you’ve broken up and are hoping to reconcile with him. The good news is that Virgo men prefer to finish what they start and are slow to let go of someone they truly care about. If you’re earnest and respectful in your approach, you can get him back in your corner. Here are a few tips for reconnecting with a Virgo man!

Getting a Virgo Man Back

Give him space and let him come to you.
Engage in your favorite activities and focus on self-improvement.
Send him a gentle, friendly text.
Try to build a friendship with him first.
Talk to him about what went wrong in your relationship.
Show him that you're ready to learn, grow, and change for the better.

1

Be patient and give him space.

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Virgo men need a lot of time to think over their relationships. If you’ve just broken up, drop all contact for a couple of weeks—the distance will allow him time to process his negative feelings about the breakup and get in a better headspace. If you’re still together, you don’t have to cut him off entirely; just minimize the number of times you reach out and let him come to you if he needs you. ^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.}
- There’s a difference between giving him space and deliberately playing hard-to-get. If he sees you flirting with other people, he won’t understand and will assume that you’ve moved on.
- If a Virgo man is open to reconnecting, a little much-needed space will give him time to miss you—and, when you reach out again, he’ll be eager to reciprocate!

2

Keep busy and take care of yourself.

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Virgo men are impressed by people who can maintain their stability. While you consider how to reconnect with your Virgo man, focus on self-improvement instead of stewing over the relationship. Virgo men are more likely to want to reconnect if they see that you can be put together and have a busy, fulfilling life both with and without them.
- When you go through a breakup, it can be tempting to let stress and sadness affect your habits and hygiene. Do your best to power through, and make healthy choices for yourself.
- While it’s important to take care of yourself for your own sake, the extra benefit is that it will impress your Virgo man! He would rather see you handle yourself with grace during a breakup.
- Social media is a great tool for keeping him in the loop. Post pictures and keep your status updated—it will show him when you’re doing well and moving forward, and make him wish to be part of your life again.

3

Send him a thoughtful text but keep your distance.

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After you’ve given him some space, it’s time to recapture his attention. Try sending him a text without getting too emotional in your message, and wait for him to respond before texting him again. If he’s feeling inclined to reconnect with you, then he’s already thinking about you constantly—so give him just enough contact to show him that you’re thinking about him, too. ^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.}
- Send him a photo from your day or bring up a fond memory you have from your time together.
- You could text him something like, “Hey there. I hope you’re having a good week,” or “I passed by the park today. It made me remember those picnics we had. :)”
- Text messages aren't the best place to bring up heavy thoughts or gush about how badly you miss him. Instead, use gentle and friendly texts to show him that you miss him (and make him miss you, too).

4

Figure out your emotions independently.

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A Virgo man won’t know how to juggle your feelings and his own. The best way to reconnect with him is to wait and do approach him once you’re emotionally ready. Take the time you need to move past the breakup or and negative feelings surrounding it. Talk to your Virgo man once you’ve had some time to collect yourself and speak rationally, and he’ll be more inclined to hear you out. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- For a Virgo man to feel ready to reconnect with you, he’ll need to see that you can process your emotions separately from him and that you’ll let him do the same.
- That doesn’t mean you need to recuperate on your own! Use friends and family to form a support system that you feel good about.

5

Be his friend first.

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Friendship is an important step in reconnecting for Virgo men. If your relationship has changed because of hurt feelings, it will take time to earn his forgiveness. And regardless, it’s important to build a renewed relationship on strong foundations. Before you reconnect romantically, show him that you can be his friend—kind, compassionate, and reliable, without romantic expectations getting in the way.
- Give him a simple invitation to hang out at first. You could say, "How about we get together for a cup of coffee sometime this week? I'd love to catch up with you."
- Virgo men tend to maintain a cool and composed appearance on the outside, but make no mistake: he still cares. He may still have a lot of feelings for you and only needs time to sort them out. ^{[4]
  X
  Research source}

6

Talk to him about your relationship.

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You'll need to talk to him about what went wrong and how to fix it. Practicality is the name of the game here, so try to bring up past issues in a matter-of-fact way. For Virgo men, a relationship is the most fulfilling puzzle of all: it’s something they can work on perfecting for a long time. ^{[5]
X
Research source} If your Virgo man believes there’s still something to figure out in your relationship, reconnect with him to work out the relationship together.
- Remain calm when talking about past problems, and without expecting (or forcing) him to apologize right off the bat.
- Go over what went wrong, and keep the conversation oriented around a more hopeful goal of fixing those issues for the future!

7

Show him that you’ve changed.

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Virgo men value self-improvement. Conflict can drive you two apart, but an earnest commitment to change and progress can reverse the damage. A Virgo man will only think that reconnecting is a good idea if he can see a solution to the problems you had—and if you show him that you’re ready to learn, grow, and put those solutions into action.
- If you apologize for past issues, back up your words with actions; a Virgo man also believes that actions speak louder than words. Figure out how you're going to handle such problems in the future and tell him about it.
- If he's upset that you're always late, set alarms so that you start showing up on time. If he felt you were noncommittal about the future, make a five-year plan.
- When a Virgo man wants to reconnect, his actions will prove that he’s been working on himself too. Virgo men have high standards for their partners, but they hold themselves to the same standard!
- Reader Poll: We asked 607 wikiHow readers what self-improvement activity they’re most motivated to do, and 55% said working on their physical and mental health. [Take Poll]

8

Be polite and kind.

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Virgo men value respect and good manners. It’s important to show him that you’re compassionate and respectful, both in terms of your relationship with him and the way you interact with other people. Your Virgo man may need some extra convincing that you’re the one for him. Show him your compassionate side, and he’ll be eager to reconnect with you! ^{[6]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.}
- More broadly, he also wants a partner who is just as kind and considerate to everyone else as they are to him. Tip your barista generously, hold the door for someone who needs a hand, or even do some volunteer work.

9

Pay attention to the details in his life.

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Speak his language and show him that you can remember the little things when it comes to your relationship: how he takes his coffee, the music he likes to listen to when he’s stressed, or how he likes to organize his books. He’ll be eager to reconnect with someone who can recognize and understand the minute details in his life.

10

Make yourself available and reliable.

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Virgo men need to feel comfortable before they resume a relationship. If he asks for your help or time, be ready and willing to give it. Inserting yourself into his life may come across as pushy, but you can show him that you’re committed to reconnecting with him by being there when he reaches out. ^{[7]
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Research source}
- Virgo men may not be so great at dealing with their partner’s emotions, but they love giving more practical help to those they care about. He’ll be eager to reconnect if you can do the same for him.
- Bring up something you used to help him with and see if he asks for a hand. You can become more involved with his life and show him you care at the same time.

11

Tell him what you want.

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Virgo men can be insecure in matters of the heart, so take the initiative. If you want to reconnect with him, make sure that you tell him exactly what you want—and reinforce those words in your actions. ^{[8]
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Research source} Knowing where you stand may help him get over his insecurity and take the plunge into a romantic relationship with you once more.
- There's a time and place to get emotional with a Virgo man. Wait until he is sending signals that he's ready!
- If he's spending time alone with you again, making lots of eye contact, mirroring your body language, or even touching your hand, it may be a good time to tell him how you feel.
- It’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same. Be happy if you’re able to reconnect with your Virgo man, but try not to despair if it doesn’t work out. There’s a whole world full of people and possibilities for you to explore!

How Do You Get a Virgo To Open Up To You?

Connect & Flirt with a Virgo Man with this Expert Series

Virgo men are loyal, driven, and slow to open up. These expert articles will help you attract and date the Virgo of your dreams.

1

Flirt with a Virgo Man

2

Flirt with a Virgo Man over Text

3

Know if a Virgo Man Is Pushing You Away

4

Reconnect with a Virgo Man

5

Make a Virgo Man Miss You

6

Attract a Virgo Man on Social Media

Expert Q&A

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Question

Will a Virgo man reach out first if he wants you back?

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.

Jessica Lanyadoo

Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Answer

They might, but the odds aren't particularly high. Virgo is an intrinsically introverted sign, and they tend to be really reflective and considerate. As a result, they tend to be a little more quiet and prone to keeping things to themselves.

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Will a Virgo know if I'm trying to flirt with them?

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.

Jessica Lanyadoo

Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Answer

Maybe not right away, but Virgos will absolutely notice if you're being subtle, coy, or playful. They're very observant, so they'll eventually pick up what you're putting down.

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How to Reconnect with a Virgo Man

Getting a Virgo Man Back

Steps

Be patient and give him space.

Keep busy and take care of yourself.

Send him a thoughtful text but keep your distance.

Figure out your emotions independently.

Be his friend first.

Talk to him about your relationship.

Show him that you’ve changed.

Be polite and kind.

Pay attention to the details in his life.

Make yourself available and reliable.

Tell him what you want.

How Do You Get a Virgo To Open Up To You?

Connect & Flirt with a Virgo Man with this Expert Series

Expert Q&A

Video

Tips

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