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Practice introspection to become a better version of yourself
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During the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s all too easy to lose sight of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. That’s where self-reflection comes in. This practice encourages you to press the “pause” button on your daily life, so you can better understand yourself. Not sure how to get started? We’re here to help you better understand self-reflection, how to do it, why you should, and offer plenty of questions to get you started.
Simple Ways to Self-Reflect
- Ask yourself questions about yourself, like, “What do I want, and why?”
- Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings.
- Set goals and monitor your progress.
- Ask others what they think about you.
- Reminisce on your past self.
- Exercise and meditate to nourish your mind.
- Practice gratitude.
Steps
Section 2 of 4:
Ways to Self Reflect
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Keep a journal where you jot down and ponder your own thoughts. Research shows that when you put your thoughts into writing, you get better at examining them. [2] X Research source Take 5-10 minutes each day to journal and reflect on how your day went, along with anything you feel thankful for. Journaling is a great way to curb any negative or unproductive thoughts while helping you look toward the future.
- You might write about a frustrating experience at work, a tough conversation you had with a friend, or an upcoming event that’s stressing you out.
- You could also jot down something you did well, or something that made you really happy.
- It’s okay if your journaling seems jumbled—what matters most is that you’re transforming your thoughts into words.
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Investigate your emotions to better understand why you feel them. Every once in a while, stop and try to name what emotion you’re currently feeling, whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, or something completely different. If you can name your emotion, you can better understand it , and it doesn’t feel so alien or scary. [3] X Research source If you can’t name it, try to describe it!
- Also ask yourself why you’re feeling that way, and what feeling that emotion usually makes you do , and if that’s positive or negative.
- Receptive, ecstatic, blessed, reassured, intrigued, resentful, and indignant are all great examples of words for your emotional vocabulary. [4] X Research source
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Set specific personal goals and track your progress. Write down your goals and outcomes for your career, as well as your spiritual, emotional, and mental health. Once a month, check in with yourself—have you reached your goals from the previous month, or are you not quite there yet? As you reflect, create new goals for the upcoming month. [5] X Research source
- Your goals could be “I want to be 20% more productive at work,” or “I want to give myself an extra hour of “me time” each week.”
- It’s okay if you don’t reach your goals right away! Self-reflection is all about the journey and becoming more in tune with yourself.
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Practice gratitude to help you reflect on all the good things in your life. Throughout the week, focus on anything you feel thankful or grateful for. Practicing gratitude can help you feel calmer, and also boost your feelings of contentment. [6] X Research source
- Speak your gratitude aloud. For example, say, “I’m grateful for the support system in my life,” “I’m thankful to have a roof over my head,” or “I’m thankful to have a supportive boss and co-workers” are some ways to practice gratitude.
Oprah Winfrey, Entertainment MogulPractice gratitude frequently. "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
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Confront your mistakes and try to learn from them. Life coach Tracey Rogers says that “You have to recognize that there are some things about you that need to change in order to be the best version of yourself.” [7] X Expert Source Tracey Rogers, MA
Certified Life Coach Expert Interview. 6 January 2020. But don’t beat yourself up when you think about the past; instead, honestly identify and reflect on the mistakes you made, so you can make better, more informed decisions in the future.- For instance, if you showed up late to a friend’s important event, you might set several alarms for yourself in the future.
- If you hurt a friend’s feelings, you could pinpoint what you said and how you said it. That way, you’ll know what not to say in the future.
- If you fall short of your goals, you could pinpoint what slowed you down.
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Exercise your body and meditate to nourish your mind. Regular exercise boosts your mood and helps your brain work better. [8] X Research source Walk through your neighborhood, a local park, or any other place where you can really unplug and focus on yourself. Meditation and yoga are also great ways to boost your sense of self-awareness. [9] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- There are plenty of meditation styles to try—guided style helps you focus on a relaxing place or experience, while mantra meditation involves chanting a calming word.
- There’s also mindfulness meditation, which helps you focus on living in the current moment.
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Go easy on yourself as you self-reflect. Self-reflection isn’t just about judging or criticizing your past decisions. Instead, self-reflection helps you learn from your past so you can reach a healthier, happier future. [10] X Research source
- Instead of thinking “I can’t believe I made that mistake at work,” think “I’m glad I have the opportunity to reflect on my mistakes so I can do better in the future.”
- Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t have said that to my sister,” think “I’m now better prepared for future conversations.”
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Self-reflect each day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Just 10-15 minutes is enough time to help you unplug and focus on yourself. In fact, research shows that professionals who took time for self-reflection performed better at work overall. [11] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- If you don’t have a lot of free time, try self-reflecting at least once a week.
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Recruit a trusted friend to keep tabs on your self-reflection. Career coach Adrian Klaphaak says to “Ask people you know well and trust…to give you feedback about what they see as your core strengths.” [12] X Expert Source Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC
Career Coach Expert Interview. 18 December 2018. Reach out to a friend, loved one, or other trusted individual for help. Ask this person to hold you accountable, and remind you to self-reflect frequently. This might be a text, phone call, or any other reminder that helps you remember.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhy is it important to self reflect?Adrian Klaphaak is a career coach and founder of A Path That Fits, a mindfulness-based boutique career and life coaching company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is also an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC). Klaphaak has used his training with the Coaches Training Institute, Hakomi Somatic Psychology, and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to help thousands of people build successful careers and live more purposeful lives.It's a great way to identify what's important to you. It's also important to sort of take a step back and take stock of your trajectory in life. If there's something you really want to achieve and you aren't moving closer to that goal, reflection can kind of help you re-calibrate.
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QuestionWhat if I'm really bad at self reflection?Adrian Klaphaak is a career coach and founder of A Path That Fits, a mindfulness-based boutique career and life coaching company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is also an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC). Klaphaak has used his training with the Coaches Training Institute, Hakomi Somatic Psychology, and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to help thousands of people build successful careers and live more purposeful lives.As people you know really well to identify your strengths and weaknesses. Seeking out feedback is a kind of roundabout way to do some reflection, since they may see things in you that you're totally unaware of.
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QuestionI get bummed out whenever I reflect on my achievements. How can I get closer to completing more goals?Adrian Klaphaak is a career coach and founder of A Path That Fits, a mindfulness-based boutique career and life coaching company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is also an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC). Klaphaak has used his training with the Coaches Training Institute, Hakomi Somatic Psychology, and Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) to help thousands of people build successful careers and live more purposeful lives.You may be thinking about achievement in the wrong way. If your goal is to graduate from law school or get a job at Google, you're just going to get down on yourself. Those are massive, lofty goals that may take decades to achieve depending on how old you are. Try to think about the steps along the way that you've completed. Those are achievements, too!
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References
- ↑ https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-031921-024406
- ↑ https://online-journals.org/index.php/i-jet/article/view/11939/7143
- ↑ https://cmha.ca/news/understand-your-emotions-understand-yourself/
- ↑ http://www.psychpage.com/learning/library/assess/feelings.html
- ↑ https://www.nsls.org/goal-setting-techniques
- ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/practicing_gratitude_has_positive_impacts_on_our_health_and_well_being
- ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/exercise-and-mental-health
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201910/what-is-self-reflection-and-why-it-matters-wellness
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2017/03/why-you-should-make-time-for-self-reflection-even-if-you-hate-doing-it
- ↑ Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC. Career Coach. Expert Interview. 18 December 2018.
- ↑ https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-031921-024406
- ↑ https://online-journals.org/index.php/i-jet/article/view/11939/7143
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-social-self/201009/reflection-critical-self-improvement
- ↑ https://online-journals.org/index.php/i-jet/article/view/11939/7143
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201805/6-self-reflection-questions-self-critical-people
About This Article
Article Summary
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If you want to self-reflect, try seeking out a quiet place with no distractions, like your bedroom or office. Once you've found some personal space, go ahead and talk out loud to yourself. Just say what's on your mind in that moment. Then, pour out the emotions you're feeling, and cry if you have to. When you're done, be sure to write down these emotions afterwards so you can understand yourself better. Once you get it all out, make sure you take some time to just breathe for as long as you need. For more advice, like how you can turn this reflection into action, read on.
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