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If you’re having trouble with your mother-in-law (MIL) after a new baby, rest assured that you’re not alone. Even the sweetest of MILs have the potential to overstep their boundaries, especially when it comes to a grandchild. With the help of your partner, you can set clear, kind boundaries that work for everyone to preserve your relationship (and your sanity).
This article is based on an interview with our clinical psychologist and published author, Asa Don Brown. Check out the full interview here.
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QuestionHow do I keep peace with my mother-in-law?Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.Set boundaries while also being patient. If you are establishing new perspectives or concepts, it may take her some time to adjust to these new ideas. Breaking traditions and old-school ways takes time to adapt to—just remember that it isn't an excuse for her to breach your personal boundaries.
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QuestionIs it wrong to set unspoken boundaries?Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.Setting unspoken boundaries isn't a good idea, as they can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Instead, it's important to directly and clearly establish your boundaries from the very beginning.
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References
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/parenting/interfering-grandparents.html
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-healthy-couples-deal-with-their-in-laws#3
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/parenting/interfering-grandparents.html
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-healthy-couples-deal-with-their-in-laws#3
- ↑ https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/grandparents/10-tips-for-dealing-laws-when-you-have-baby-interfering-boundaries-and-taking-over
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/support-and-services/relationships-after-having-a-baby/
- ↑ https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/grandparents/10-tips-for-dealing-laws-when-you-have-baby-interfering-boundaries-and-taking-over
- ↑ https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/grandparents/10-tips-for-dealing-laws-when-you-have-baby-interfering-boundaries-and-taking-over
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/17/parenting/interfering-grandparents.html
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Reader Success Stories
- "Helped me to understand that yes, as the MIL I am treated DIFFERENT from the maternal grandmother and always have been." ..." more
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