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Ending communication with someone that negatively affects you is an empowering move. If you have decided to stop talking to someone, let them know that you need some space and then cut off all forms of communication with them. If you have been talking to someone online and have decided that you don’t want to continue the conversation, let them know that you don’t want to keep talking and then delete them from your profile. Congratulations on taking this brave step!
Steps
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Talk to them about your new boundaries, if you feel comfortable doing so. Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is the clearest way to communicate your feelings to them and helps to avoid miscommunication. Explain to the person that your relationship is negatively affecting you and outline what steps you will be taking to get some space from the relationship. [1] X Research source
- For example, “Our relationship is making me anxious so I have decided that I need some space for the next few months. During that time I won’t be responding to any messages on social media.”
- Try to communicate in a firm but kind manner.
- Let the other person know that you actively want to be working on making the relationship better with them. [2]
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Expert Source
Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
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Write them a letter if you'd rather not talk to them in person. If you feel threatened or anxious around the person, you may find it difficult to communicate clearly. In this case, write them a letter outlining your feelings and explain that you won’t be talking to them anymore. [3] X Research source
- Mail the letter to their house if you want to avoid seeing them.
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Delete their number from your phone. This will stop you from being tempted to text or call the person during lonely moments. Simply go to their profile in your contact list and select “Delete Contact.” [4] X Research source
- If you feel hesitant to delete their number, remember that you are making space in your life for more positive and uplifting people.
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Block their profile on all your social media platforms. This is a great way to stop yourself from communicating with someone and will also remove the regular reminders of that person from your newsfeed. Consider blocking them instead of unfollowing them, as this will stop them from contacting you in the future. [5] X Research source
- Don’t forget to block the person from all your different social media platforms. Consider your Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Pinterest, and WhatsApp.
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Avoid the person, when possible. This helps to give you some space while you heal from the difficult or unhealthy relationship. This isn't always possible, but try to make an effort to avoid them where you can. [6] X Research source
- For example, if the person always goes to the same coffee shop, consider going to a different coffee shop.
- If you live with the person, consider looking for somewhere else to live.
- You can decide to end the relationship. [7]
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Expert Source
Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020. - Focus your energy on other positive relationships. [8]
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Expert Source
Leah Morris
Life Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
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Write a short, direct, and kind response to end contact. It can feel a little awkward rejecting someone online; however, it is better to be clear about your feelings, rather than to ghost them and leave them confused. Simply write a short message thanking them for their time, explain that you’re not interested, and wish them the best. [9] X Research source
- For example, “Hi Hannah, thanks for your interest; however, I don’t see us having a romantic relationship in the future. You seem really kind and I wish you all the best!”.
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Make up an excuse if the person keeps responding to you. The best option is always to be honest. However, if you feel uncomfortable, use a polite excuse to quickly end the conversation. Keep it brief and then avoid replying to any further responses. [10] X Research source
- For example, “Thanks for chatting, but I have recently met someone else” or “I’m taking a break from social media at the moment, as I have taken on extra hours at my job.”
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Delete the person from your online platform. If the person continues to message you or you feel nervous that you might contact them during a weak moment, don’t feel shy to delete them. This is the most effective way to ensure that you don’t continue to talk to them. [11] X Research source
- To delete someone on Tinder, go to the person’s profile, click on the wheel in the top right corner, and then select “unmatch.”
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionIs it okay to break up with someone over text?Patti Novak Williams is a Professional Matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti specializes in working with clients one on one to help them find love. She has helped match hundreds of couples, engagements, and marriages. Patti was the star of the critically acclaimed A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker.” She has been featured in the New York Times, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, CBS’ The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show, and Fox’s The Morning Show With Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Get Real, Get Serious, and Get Ready to Find True Love.”No, you should have that conversation in person, especially if you've been seeing each other for more than about 3 months or so. If you've only seen each other a few times, it might be okay to do it over the phone, but don't do it through text. It doesn't give the other person any closure.
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QuestionIs it OK to just stop talking to someone?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerSometimes it’s important to cut off contact with someone for your own mental health. While you don’t necessarily owe them an explanation, be aware that they will likely be confused and hurt if you do this. If you want, you can write the person a brief note to let them know why you need to move on.
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QuestionHow do you stop talking to someone you love?This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.wikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you’re trying to move on from a relationship, sometimes you need to simply cut off contact. Explain to the person that you need to stop talking to them because staying in touch is too painful or stressful for you. If you have trouble sticking to it, try blocking their number and unfriending them on social media. If you feel the overwhelming urge to tell them something, try writing it down on paper or in an electronic document, but not sending it.
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References
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-talking-to-someone-who-is-bad-for-you/
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/romantically-attached/201609/why-we-need-closure-broken-relationships
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-talking-to-someone-who-is-bad-for-you/
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-stop-talking-to-someone-who-is-bad-for-you/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201505/the-power-influence
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 19 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-etiquette-not-interested-heres-say/
About This Article
Article Summary
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It can be hard to stop talking to someone, but if you cut ties cleanly, it should be easier for you. If you feel comfortable doing so, gently tell them that you want to stop talking. For example, say something like, “I need to focus on myself, so it’s best for me if we stop talking.” You can tell them in a text instead if it’s easier. Then, just delete their number, block them from social media, and try to avoid places you’re likely to see them in person. For more tips, including how to stop talking to someone on Tinder, read on.
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Reader Success Stories
- "This is way better than ghosting someone. I am 31 and currently involved in the dating scene and "ghosting" seems to be an ongoing thing rather than just being honest. It is easy and healthy." ..." more
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"This is way better than ghosting someone. I am 31 and currently involved in the dating scene and "ghosting" seems to be an ongoing thing rather than just being honest. It is easy and healthy."
..."
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